Oooh! Oooh! Pick me!
Why?
Because, they only made one of me. There was a terrible accident in the lab that night, you see. It was probably for the best. I'm not real sure the world could handle two of me. I'm a bit of a handful.
So.
Who am I?
I'm a nice girl gone bad: I won't lie to you. I won't buy you dinner, though I could be convinced to cook some. I'm bad at returning phone calls, unless you give me a good reason. I'll be the first one to hug you when everything is awful but I'll also be the one to tell you how you got there and help you can fix it. I'll hem your pants and sew your buttons on, but I'll expect my payment in the form of some really awesome candy. I'll watch you play Xbox, but if you don't give me a controller, I'll bite you till you drop yours. If you're a jerk, I can be a bigger one. I'll always give you a chance, but don't make it your only one. I will be there for you at the end of the day. <3

Working hard to get somewhere and be somebody. Right now I'm working on exploring my scholarship options in a few different fields. As it turns out, there's a world of options out there! <3

It's concept sketching season! Let the discarded paper fly! I've decided that I need to be Calhoun from Wreck it Ralph.

Working on getting ripped for next year's Highland Games...Okay, I'll never be 'ripped' but I like to think that I am. Mostly, I become huge and even more cocky because my rule to fine living is that one does not have to take lip from anything that one can pick up and leave on top of a refrigerator.

Space potatoes. That is all.

Art. I love art, I draw, paint, design, sculpt and sew. My current favorite media is ceramics.

I am a couture costumer when time permits, so all of my skills come into play quite a bit,- from drawing concepts and drafting patterns (My grandpa is a civil and a mechanical engineer, so he taught me all kinds of cool stuff when I was a kid. :D) to sculpting and vacuum forming all kinds of nifty things. (Yes, one of my favorite TV shows is 'Monster Man'. I'd pretty much die to work for Sota.)

Writing. I write, mostly short stories. One of these days, I'll finish something. That's going to be a good, good, day.

Cooking Indian, Chinese, Japanese, Russian and Polish are my specialties. I make a mean bacon-peanut butter-maple cookie.

Slinking around in anti-gravity moon hooker shoes, because I like being taller than EVERYBODY. It makes me warm and fuzzy inside. :3

Back rubs! I have my talents and they are earned. :D

"Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for I am the baddest mother fucker in this valley."

The next is probably my stature. I'm very tall and I don't tend to slouch. I am also very curvaceous, and yes, fat. I have chunky thighs to go with my big butt and big boobs. My fellow volunteers at the food pantry say: "She ain't fat, she just weigh heavy." or "You THICK." I am strong, I like to use power tools and I unload trucks once a week with a bunch of men. I love high heeled shoes and skimpy tops. I do not care who that offends, I do what my Grandma says: "YOU love YOU and don't let nobody tell you any different!"

Redhead! Redhead with PURPLE SPARKLE nerd-girl glasses. XD

Books: Alas Babylon, The Zombie Survival Guide, Worse Case Scenario Survival Guide, anything by Anne McAffery, Laurell K. Hamilton, Kurt Vonnegut, Patricia C. Briggs, Ann Agurrie or Murray Leinster. The list goes on for just about forever.

Movies: Snatch, Blade Runner,The Fifth Element, Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, Boondock Saints, Black Cat White Cat, Brat I, Brat 2,Night Watch, Day Watch, The Hunger Games, Dark Shadows The Enchanted Cottage, The African Queen, From Dusk Till Dawn, 28 Days Later, Let the Right one In, Indiana Jones and the freaking everything. All things Romero. Again, the list goes on, mostly action/adventure. Let's focus on guys getting tortured for information, things that blow up and maybe some space, dinosaurs, really cool guns, monsters or at LEAST a bank robbery and/or car chases? Chick Flicks are usually a 'NO', although I DO love fantasy. Something about growing up wanting to be a fairy princess who gets to ride around on T-REX with a bunch of green army men, deadly snakes, knights and UNICORNS. -Hey, they said I could be anything. :\

Music: Classic Rock, Indie, Metal,Finnish Metal Classical, Opera, Techno,Electronica, Dubstep Some of my favorite bands/artists are: Avantasia, Nightwish, EdGuy, Pellek, Korpiklaani, Gogol Bordello, Rush, Sting, The Blue Oyster Cult, GNR, HIM, NIN, Souxie and the Banshees, Kamalot, The Ramones, Iggy Pop, David Bowie, Deadmaus, Daftpunk, Nena Hagen, The Cramps, Queen, Led Zepplin, Pink Floyd, Yeasayer and The Streets. The list could go on for a few hundred pages here. Honestly I like, just about everything, though I am partial to all forms of angry white boy music. I don't generally care for hardcore Rap or Country.

Anime: Cowboy Bebop, Hellgirl, so on and so fourth. :)

Comic books: Hellboy, B.P.R.D, Hellblazer, Swamp Thing, The Sandman, Catwoman, Batman, Transmetropolitan, Strange Girl,- Do we get that I'll read anything and 99.9% of the time will love it?

Food: Chinese and Thai are my favorites. <3 Considering that my diet seems to mostly be made up of things which grow out of the ground, I'm always pretty game for something raw, bleeding and possibly still alive if I'm going to have a treat. :3

Sharpies
E6000 (Yes, the adhesive. I once put a car back together with it. I'm not sure how other people survive without a liquid plastic which can support that kind of awesome.)
The Internet
Cuddles
Duct tape
My animals! :3
LUCKY NUMBER SEVEN: My big crazy geek family!

The Future: Yikes!
Costuming ideas
Conventions
Where have all the southern gentlemen gone?
Why people don't wear silly hats these days. :(
Beards and how awesome they are.
"What happens if I take a blow torch to [fill in the blank]?"
Science!
If I'm considered a 'has snapped' or a 'will soon snap'. Questions, questions, questions...

Hanging out with friends, or hunched over my newest creation waiting for lightning to strike the rod on the roof to,- Never mind.

My room is an unholy mess. Unholy. I'm not kidding. No seriously. It's awful. I'm slightly ashamed...but only slightly.

My 'stripper name' is apparently "Red Velvet".

I am a major bleeding heart under all this fine crocodile. It causes me to rescue animals, help crying children and help old people in the grocery store.

You're looking for a great friend and partner, particularly if the Zombiepocalypse comes.

You read books! Real ones!

You have a kick-ass sense of humor.

You create things. :D

You want to take me fishing.

Do NOT message me if:

You cannot power walk for at least two blocks. I need someone who can physically keep up with me. I'm an extremely active person and if I'm not moving around at least a little bit,- I will go insane. I will get bored. If my butt is numb, I am not pleasant company.

You require me to text you constantly. I have extremely limited texting and I save it for emergencies. :P If you have a problem with this, turn back now.

You do not have reading comprehension skills of at least a sixth grader. I’m not asking that you be the most observant person on the face of the earth, but seriously? Reading. It’s awesome.

You are active duty Military or planning on becoming such. Yes, I know it looks bad, but I've BEEN a Military girlfriend.

You have a problem with me owning cats. I like cats, cats have been a whole lot nicer and less complicated than any man has ever been to me. It's fine if you're not a fan, but I will gladly get rid of a boyfriend before I get rid of any of my animals.

You have a problem with me occasionally indulging in Hookah, craft cider, Jack Daniels or any other form of not-for-everyone grownup activities.

You have a problem with girls who wear makeup, color their hair or wear corsets, shapewear or high-heals. Guess what? I'm an art person. My body is one, giant, blank, canvas. I'm not trying to trick anybody. I'm not trying to offend anybody. I'm REALLY sick of receiving random messeges from guys on this subject. Seriously, I'm a little sad to have to put this here.

You do not like super open communication. I am not Miss Cleo and I don't expect you to be either. I am a social battering ram. I do not understand the dialect of Girl.

Super cheat sheet: Some things I LIKE:

I typically like older men. I can't say why, but guys my own age tend to be kind of not-my-thing. This isn't to say I wouldn't give a guy my age a chance, but I really do like dudes a bit older and wiser.

I like BIG tall guys, but I don't dislike shorter gentlemen. You know the saying, "A woman always marries her father"? Well, I come from a long line of Fe-Fi-Fo-Fum. Big, heavy-set, Russian dudes. What can I say? They attract my attention.

That being said, I do like the chubbier guys. A. Lot. Their just big solid and utterly hug-able. They also give the best hugs and I demand good hugs.

Face-fuzz. I love face fuzz. Did I mention this? Because I LOVE face fuzz. Hell, fuzz in general. I'm SUPER attracted to the wookie look. Serious plus if you can make the sound for my amusement. <3

I have a weakness for blondes and gingers. :3 I do love all colors of people and all colors and textures of hair, but there's just SOMETHING about the light hair.

TLDR: I'll do what I want, take it, leave it, love it, hate it. Whatever!