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XachMonster

30 M Tarzana, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 25–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends

My Details

Last Online
Sep 28
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 2″ (1.88m)
Body Type
Average
Diet
Mostly anything
Smokes
No
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Religion
Sign
Education
Graduated from masters program
Job
Other
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Seeing Someone
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Pets
Likes dogs
Speaks
English (Fluently), Spanish (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am quite happy in my relationship status, and am not looking for anything other than a possible friendship from here. Indeed, this is all I've ever gotten off of this site, and I mean that with no disrespect. The friends I've made on here are delightful people, and I enjoy having them in my life. No, I am not looking to woo you for a threesome. No, I am not looking to cheat on my girlfriend. Yes, guys like me really exist.

I'm always wary of these self summaries. I like to think that I'm more complex than can be expressed simply and concisely in a small box of text (but, aren't we all?). I am large, I contain multitudes.

I laugh to the rafters and will do most anything if it will make for a good story afterwards. This is to say, my public persona is more of an extrovert than an introvert, though I dislike applying binaries to myself or others. The MBTI is a flawed metric. (see: false dichotomy)

My sense of humor runs toward the absurd and irreverent, and is heavily laden with puns and witticisms. In a similar vein, I often poke at peoples' thought patterns and processes in ways I find interesting because I'm curious to see how they react.

I have the kind of life where it makes perfect sense that I keep 'emergency hot tub attire' in my car.

Let's see...a few other brief things. I'm in the Burning Man community, but do not consider myself a "Burner." Native Angeleno. Feminist male. Part child of the 80s, part 90s. Skeptic. Very cerebral, but also spontaneous and present in the moment. Capable of discussing the finer points and nuances of geopolitical socio-economics while not wearing pants. Also, while wearing pants.

*Important Note*
I tend to browse quickly, save to favorites, and look more thoroughly later--possibly several times--before sending messages on here. Not a passive or passive-assertive thing, just busy and easily distracted.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm a weaver of tales, mainly Lovecraftian horror, sci-fi, and the like. I just received my MFA in creative writing and my thesis was, no joke, an academic analysis of monsters. Writing is a large part of my life, and I'm active in the literary community. I spent a lot of my time chasing tale.

I also do the “Notable L.A.” blog on therumpus.net.
And I co-founded Shades and Shadows. It's a bi-monthly reading series that brings together six SF/F/H authors and has them read from their own works to a live audience.

I have been a massage therapist since 2003. I intend to keep the skills, but don’t necessarily plan on keeping it as my job for the rest of my life. Unlike many others in the field, I like Science!™ I’m not a fan of the Hippie Bullshit, preferring instead evidence-based therapies.

Socially, I do lots of other stuff. I go out to literary readings, nerdy events, parties at friends' houses, I host dinner & horror movie nights, go to MindShare events, the list goes on.

There may or may not be video of me and my friend jousting using flaming Christmas trees.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
My superpower seems to be matching needs with haves. If someone tells me they're looking for something to be made/answered/done/whatever, oftentimes I magically facilitate that thing happening.

Aside from that, I have a knack for getting away with things.

Neologisms. Example: infur - to know what your pet is thinking.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably that I'm doing something that appears to be phenomenally stupid. It's quite a believable illusion.

Big stature, big personality, big voice, big laugh. I don't really have a "quiet" mode.

The Googly eyes.

Or possibly that I'm on fire.

Sometimes (read: often), that yes, I really did just say that.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
BOOKS: Yes. [editor's note: I will try to not judge you for which books you read, but I will definitely judge you if you don't read any.]

MUSIC: Yup. Music is good too.

When I'm in the car though, most of the time the radio is tuned to NPR.

MOVIES: Without getting too into Kantian Aesthetics, I like good movies. I don't like bad movies. I love so-bad-they're-good movies, but cannot abide the just-plain-bad movies. And as a horror writer, I generally think most horror movies are either A) comedies or B) terrible.

SHOWS: Don't watch a whole lot of TV. Some, but not a ton. And I try not to let it rule my life, or my daily schedule.

FOOD: Om(nom nom)nivore. Love to eat. Love to cook and bake. If I suddenly become allergic to garlic I might commit suicide.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I could do without a lot. I am really not materialistic. I value experiences more than things.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Whether, once gay rights are globally achieved, the visible spectrum of refracted light will become public domain again.

Monsters. Writing. Contemporary and classical mythology. Adventures. Absurd inconsistencies in life that I find terribly amusing (example: People who drive around for twenty minutes to find a parking spot near the gym, vegetarians who smoke, or how most people say goodbye in some form or other three times before ending a phone conversation).

Theoretical quantum physics, the Antikythera Mechanism, and other random things I want to work into my stories.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I work on Friday nights until as late as 9:30.

After that, "typical" doesn't enter into it. My whole life seems to be an end-run around "typical" and "ordinary." On any given Friday, perhaps I might be:
-Spinning some fire
-Out adventuring
-At a friend's/friends' house
-Staying in, either alone or with friends
-Retreating into my cave to write
-__________.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
People who say "That's hilarious!" but never laugh make me uncomfortable.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to hang out. Everything is above board here. I'm no liar, and I'm no cheat.

**I AM ALSO LOOKING FOR A NEMESIS! IF INTERESTED, PLEASE INQUIRE. SHORT TERM OR LONG TERM FOES WELCOME. NO COMBAT EXPERIENCE REQUIRED. SURVIVAL NOT GUARANTEED.**