Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I prefer to see the glass as half-full. Always. Even if it's
I say yes to a lot of things when I should probably say no. I work
as a TV writer so, as long as I don't die or wind up in jail,
there's no downside. If everything goes to shit, at least I'll have
a good story.
When people ask me where I grew up, I say that it's still too soon
I don't think people should talk shit about their friends behind
their backs. I think they should do it to their faces. At least
that way you're being constructive.
I used to think outside the box. But these days it seems like
everyone does that. So now I think inside the box. Just to be
Whenever I order someone to do something and they say, "No," to
save face I will just look back at them and be like, "OK. You
passed the test."
I like to go into a restaurant for the first time and order "the
I really like the expression "Don't be a stranger." Sometimes, on
the street, I'll say it to strangers. And sometimes, if I'm really
feeling good about myself, I'll say it with a really stern look on
Personally, I think drinking alone is far less depressing than
"sharing a drink they call loneliness."
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I've been in the TV-writing business for the past few years, having
written for shows on FX and MTV. I'm currently writing/producing a
TV show (about a stoner who talks to ghosts) that came out on Hulu
Plus in April 2014 -- which means my parents finally had to learn
how to use the internet. It also means I can say things like "I'm
living the dream" even though I've never actually had dreams about
writing for television. Usually my dreams are about dragons or
teeth falling out or other weird/erotic shit that I'm certainly not
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Fast-forwarding through the commercials of TV shows I've tivo'd.
You gotta know when to go with the three arrows and when to go with
the four. Sometimes the network will try to trick you by showing
scenes from the show you're watching but, when you hit play, it's
just a commercial for the DVD of the show's previous season. But
you also don't wanna get cocky and wind up so deep into the show's
next act that you spoil it and have to look away while you
excessively hit the "Back 30 Seconds" button, to the point where
you would have actually SAVED time by not fast-forwarding at
I'm also very good at finding parking spaces.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Why does an infomercial feel the need to specify that if I act now
I receive a "free gift"? Aren't all gifts free? Isn't that the
inherent nature of a gift?
What would happen if two documentary filmmakers made a documentary
about each other...at the same time?
Why do people say "I slept like a baby last night" like it's a good
thing? If you slept like a baby, you'd be waking up every two
hours, hysterically crying for absolutely no reason.
Where the hell did Dr. Seuss get his doctorate? Did he actually
make it all the way through medical school only to start writing
Why is it that whenever you buy new scissors, it's impossible to
open the sealed plastic packaging? Is that some sort of sick
You know the little plastic tips on the end of shoelaces? Those are
called "aglets." Someone had to come up with a name for that shit
and they came up with "aglets."
On new years eve, in the year 1 B.C., do you think people were like
"Man, I can't wait to finally find out what the hell we've been
counting down towards"?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
One time, I orgasmed sarcastically.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...you want to hear from me. I will very rarely write to someone
first on this website because I know a lot of you girls get, like,
a shit ton of messages every day and most of them are gross and you
probably wouldn't have time to read all of them even if they
weren't. In real life, I will almost always make the first move--
no problem. But on OKC, it's much better if you reach out to me
first. Just sayin.
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