Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I enjoy taking care of my pets and hold Viking funerals for those
who don't make it past the trials.
Whenever I get the chance, I always like riding my motorcycle and
practicing having hypothetical conversations with cops because I
think they think I'm a drug mule.
I scream at the TV when I lose a video game because that shit
obviously wasn't my fault.
I have my bachelor's degree in biology and like getting drunk and
wearing a lab coat while referring to my cat as my lab assistant,
I like not raping or murdering people I meet on OkCupid.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Trying to prove I'm not a serial killer.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Getting really drunk and pissing in my cat's litter box to get back
at him for waking me up all night.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A sense of humor
An untraceable getaway vehicle
Pumpkin spice lattes
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How a 15 degree turn of the steering wheel can make you go from
Joe-everyman to a front page story
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Winning at Russian Roulette with a semiautomatic.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I may or may not have a nightlight in my room. Not for any
particular reason like the monsters that are definitely under my
I'm also kind of a fan of Lady Gaga... I can't help it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You have daddy issues and are looking for someone to work those out
with, or have a guess as to which parts of my profile are a joke
and would like to chat.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.