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25 Portland, ME Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–100
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Mar 3
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Graduated from university
Science / Engineering
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Okay), C++ (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Harro, world! I'm Mike.

I like outside things. I've climbed all of the 4000-foot mountains in the northeast, and have quite a few miles of canoe and kayak paddling behind me. I enjoy anything from a 25-mile sunrise-to-sunset mountain hike to a camping trip with cases of beer by a lake. I also like golf and Frisbee.

I like music things as well. I play accordion, banjo, ukulele, trumpet, and piano.

Oh, and I enjoy inside things, too. Like video games and roommate time.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Oh wait, you're still reading this? Yeah, there's a lot of words on this page, so before you keep going you should probably just flip to the photos section of this page to make sure I'm at least moderately attractive before you waste more of your time with a wall of text.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
living in a tent
wizard staff
makin' pancakes, makin' bacon pancakes
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
my tantalizing bosom
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Sometimes, I'll eat an entire bag of candy. Sometimes, I'll eat an entire bag of spinach. Most of the time, it's burritos.

And then I watch Adventure Time and Comedy Bang Bang for 4 hours until I fall asleep.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
a burrito
the ocean
probably some pizza
maybe another burrito
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
OK Cupid is terrible and makes me want to barf. But hey, I'm still here, yeah? Probably out of boredom and fear of loneliness.

6 of my friends and I drank some scotch and PBR and created OKC profiles one night a few years ago. The answers to the questions on this page are likely irrelevant and outdated, because we stayed up until 4 AM answering 800 questions, and I really don't care enough to review them for relevance.

I'd like to know how many girls were off-put by my drunkenly, half-assed questions, and just gave up on my account because I missed the correct answer to something that completely means nothing at all.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
1) laughing in a pile of my friends following a bad night at the bar/ a beer pong dispute/ a naked lap or
2) sleeping in my car waiting to go on some wilderness adventure
3) burrito coma
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I have Thomas the Tank Engine pillow cases.

Also, I fart sometimes.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you're fun and cute and adorable and you would like to take all of the furniture in the apartment and make a fort that we can eat burritos in while we watch cartoons.

Or if you're Kristen Schaal.

...OR if you wanna go play in the woods

...OR if you wanna chug some 40s and Franzia and go to Bubba's Sulky Lounge.

Please include cute animal .gifs :3 :D desu desu desu