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26 Portland, ME Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 18–100
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 1:59pm
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Graduated from university
Science / Engineering
Doesn’t have kids
Likes dogs and likes cats
English (Fluently), French (Okay), C++ (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
"oh, ya know, just a laid back guy who likes drinks with friends, going out to dinner occasionally, and sometimes staying in with Netflix"
Ha, just kidding, I'm WAY fuckin' cooler than that.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I'm an environmental and civil engineer who worked for a bad-ass firm in New York for a few years. After deciding that upstate NY was the janky grundle of America's rust belt, I scooted back home and am now at a new company in Portland, saving the planet through stormwater treatment and construction administration. This guy gets to do everything from stream biology to concrete inspection, because he's got a crazy diverse professional background.

Hell no, the diverse experiences don't stop at the office, 'cause I do ALL. KINDS. of cool shit in my spare time.

Oh, what's that, you're an outdoorsy person? Fuck, yeah, I like outside things!. I've climbed all of the 4000-foot mountains in the northeast and most of the New England AT. I also go fishing all the time, paddle boats up north whenever I want to, golf a bunch, and am on a frisbee team in Portland. I've got a bitchin' garden, too with like 30 mufuggin' pumpkin plants and a dozen jalapeno plants! I enjoy anything from a 25-mile sunrise-to-sunset mountain hike to a camping trip with cases of beer by a lake ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ. I've also done a Ragnar Relay, a few 10Ks, and run on average 50 miles a month. I'm usually outside at least one full weekend a month.

What's that, you're more the artsy type? Well no shit! I like music things as well. I play accordion, banjo, ukulele, trumpet, and piano. I've played in a few bands and used to be in the east coast's longest-running burlesque troupe. You wanna have a live ukulele and banjo boylesque hour every night FOR FUCKING FREE? Aww, yiss, you know you do!

Oh, what's that? You want a guy who's active in the world around him? Fuck yeah, I'm that guy! I'm in like a dozen community organizations; I administer a few scholarships, am a land preserve steward, run Maine's clean water young professionals group, and help out with youth outdoor education trips, and a shit load of other stuff, too! But don't worry, if you're the right woman I'll make time for you.

Oh, and I enjoy inside things, too. Like video games, board games, tea dates with my grammie, and roommate time. Because sometimes it's really shitty outside and I'd rather be playing Smash Brothers with my roommates than getting soaked in a tent.

SO: here's a list of all the shit I do, so you now have like 80 things to talk to me about. Find one you like and start the conversation.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
-living in a tent
-makin' bacon pancakes (❍ᴥ❍ʋ)
-putting on gym clothes, then not actually making it to the gym because I'm so cozy in them
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Probably my tantalizing bosom
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Sometimes, I'll eat an entire bag of candy. Sometimes, I'll eat an entire bag of spinach. Most of the time, it's burritos.

Best book = Monkey Wrench Gang.

Best board game? Fucking anything but Settlers of Catan. That shit's like the Monopoly of strategy games. It takes between 9-48 hours to play and always ends up in fights, broken windows, and divorces.

Music? Donovan Leitch's entire discography.

For films, Scott Pilgrim is my everything. I'm pretty sure Michael Cera just accidentally showed up to a movie shoot one day and was too awkward to tell them it was a mistake, and has been just been an actor since then to avoid conflict with his boss.

But for real, I usually watch Adventure Time and Comedy Bang Bang for 4 hours until I fall asleep.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
a burrito
the ocean
bubbles (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
probably some pizza
animated .gifs of animals doing awesome shit
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
OK Cupid is terrible and makes me want to barf.

some of my friends and I drank some scotch and PBR and created OKC profiles one night a few years ago. The answers to the questions on this page are likely irrelevant and outdated, because we stayed up until 4 AM answering 800 questions, and I really don't care enough to review them for relevance.

Please stop reviewing/questioning these responses, none of them matter, and they're all dumb anyway.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
1) laughing in a pile of my friends following a bad night at the bar/ a beer pong dispute/ a naked lap or
2) sleeping in my car waiting to go on some wilderness adventure
3) burrito coma
4) jammin' some sweet tunes
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not bringing you home from Pearl at close using euphemisms for sex; I'm seriously and literally inviting you over to drink tea or play "The Floor is Lava" with my roommates at 2 AM because it's the best way to end a night. Solid chance I'm down for makin' out and cuddling, though.

Also, I have Thomas the Tank Engine pillow cases and a bunch of onesie pajamas. Deal with it, it's the best.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you floss your teeth regularly.

You're a strong-willed feminist who knows how incredibly fucking awesome you are, and you're simply looking for a similarly fucking awesome dude to get to know and see where things go. Bonus points if you're fun and cute and adorable and you would like to take all of the furniture in the apartment and make a fort that we can eat burritos in while we watch cartoons.

...Or if you're Kristen Schaal.

...OR if you wanna go play in the woods ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

...OR if you wanna chug some 40s and Franzia and go to Bubba's Sulky Lounge.

Please include cute animal .gifs =^● ⋏ ●^= :D desu desu desu