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25 M Seattle, WA

My Details

Last Online
Jul 8
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly other
Graduated from university
Less than $20,000
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs

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My self-summary
I like writing and animals and comedy. Usually that means writing comedy about animals.
What I’m doing with my life
Making myself funnier, performing as much as possible, being as active as I can in the local comedy scene, and involving myself in various comedy education programs, getting more people active in comedy, trying to ignore the fact that I'm not using my useless Film and Television Production BA degree, working for the man.

Thinking about going back to school to study writing or something? But maybe one expensive degree that won't get me a job is enough.
I’m really good at
Taking it too far and making it weird.
The first things people usually notice about me
That I'm wearing an ill-fitting sailor's outfit and chasing a duck around while screaming obscenities and falling over into a puddle while the duck gets away. Why is nobody helping? That duck ate my expensive pearl cufflinks!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books - Everything by Cormac McCarthy. Also John Hodgman, Max Brooks, Richard Matheson, and Chuck Palahniuk. Also, House Of Leaves, The King In Yellow, Lovecraft, Song of Ice And Fire, and plenty of narrative-based military history.

Podcasts/Radio - Dan Carlin's Hardcore History, Maximum Fun, especially Judge John Hodgman, Jordan Jesse Go!, Risk!, and The Memory Palace. The Ricky Gervais Show, Cabin Pressure, Blue Jam and this wonderful fucking thing called The Joe Frank Radio Hour.

Movies - A Thousand Clowns, Antichrist, Observe And Report, Crank, Oldboy, Kill Bill, The Warriors, Shaun Of The Dead, 28 Days Later, Cabin Fever, The Devil's Rejects, crap like that.

TV Shows - The Wire, Breaking Bad, Spaced, Jam, MST3K, The Kids In The Hall, Strangers With Candy, Louie, It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, The Trailer Park Boys, Eastbound & Down, The State, Community, Wonder Showzen, Deadwood, The League Of Gentlemen, Parks And Recreation, Mr Show, Father Ted, Stella, The Sarah Silverman Program, The Rachel Maddow Show, The Daily Show, The Colbert Report and so on and so fucking on.

Music - Electric Wizard, Flower Travellin' Band, Acid King, Sleep, FIDLAR, Pentagram, The UK Subs, DIRT, Brant Bjork, US Christmas, Operation Ivy, Chocking Victim, The Velvet Underground, Death Grips, Canibus, Tom Waits, Uncle Acid And The Deadbeats, Graveyard, Slayer, Municipal Waste, Pantera, White Zombie, Doomtree, Pink Mountaintops, The Stratford Mercenaries, Blues Pills, Seremonia, The Machine, and all kinds of awesome shit like that.

Food - Anything that temporarily keeps me alive will do. I'll pretty much eat anything except mammals cause that feels like routing against the home team.
The six things I could never do without
Comedy, metal, marijuana, wind, friends and cartoons.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Politics, comedy, and my own dumb self.
On a typical Friday night I am
Either at a comedy show, kicking it with good friends, working in a pet store or laying back and watching something awesome.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I totally wimped out on messaging you when I visited your profile.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–30
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You're smarter and less polite than me?

You're filled with existential angst regarding the imminent self-inflicted extinction of the human race to due to unimaginable levels of carbon emissions, habitat destruction and overfishing, and you're tired of being around people who can delude themselves into thinking everything is going to be okay.

Or you just like smoking weed and watching cartoons.

Or if you're into improv or sketch comedy let's go to some shows!