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40 Portland, OR Genderqueer


I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 18–55
  • Near me
  • For short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Feb 25
5′ 6″ (1.68m)
Body Type
Judaism, but not too serious about it
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from two-year college
Open relationship
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Sign Language (Poorly)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I am queer-identified and genderqueer. That can mean a lot of different things for different people. For me, queer means my sexuality is open to people of all genders. I identify as genderqueer because nothing else really fits. I use they/them/their pronouns. I'm not feminine at all but I wouldn't say I'm masculine either. I welcome questions if you'd like more information about what queer and genderqueer means for me.

I'm actively polyamourous. I've been married to my spouse, since 2000 and we have been poly since day one. We have a secondary partner who is a part of our household for several years.

BDSM/kink/leather culture is a part of my everyday life. I'm in a 24/7 Dominant/submissive (D/s) relationship with my spouse and have been since our first year together. I also have a D/s relationship with my secondary partner. This is an FYI. I currently am not looking for a play partner. That wouldn't be up to me. :) Mostly, I just want to make sure anyone who might be interested in me would be comfortable with the fact that this is how my other relationships are set up. If you don't know much about this stuff I welcome questions!

Some other general info about me: I'm fat. I'm very introverted so it takes me a while to warm up to people but I'm told that I can be worth the wait. I love sweet, creamy coffee and good earl gray tea. I have an occasionally morbid sense of humor. I'm very sex-positive. I value good manners.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I practice the dying art of the homemaker. This is my dream job. It is nearly impossible and often impractical these days to have some one at home to cook, clean and handle all those little things that pile up but our poly household structure makes it ideal for everyone involved.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
What is this, a job interview?! Yeah, screw that. I'll tell you what I like. I knit, socks mostly. I embroider, usually things that you'd rarely find a pattern for. I grow herbs and houseplants indoors. I like to sit in coffee shops and tea houses and watch people. I like playing or watching other people play boardgames. I like having long, rambling conversations about society, the future and how we are on the edge of evolving or destroying ourselves. I can happily spend hours in a park or at a beach just watching the world. My pets get way more attention than is probably rational.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm not noticed much at all. I prefer it that way. I'm an introvert, after all.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I am a geeky fanboy so I can squee about a million "favorite" things.

I love books and my tastes can be eclectic. I read just about anything from comics to classics. I'm a particular fan of speculative fiction. I think the only thing I can't get into is high fantasy and bodice-ripper romances (mostly because the sex is so terribly bad in those things!)

I'm, of course, a fan of great science fiction films. I love a good psychological horror flick but I'm so picky I can't say I've seen a good one in a long time. The mindless action-adventure has it's place in my heart as well. A drama has to be damn good to hold my interest and I have little tolerance for romantic movies.

I don't have cable so my tv watching is limited. There really are only four shows I never miss, Agents of Shield, Doctor Who, Sherlock, and Supernatural. (See, I told you I'm a geeky fanboy.) Other shows come and go after that.

My music tastes can be as diverse as my reading but it is pretty safe to assume it is on the alternative side of things. It depends on my mood, the season, what I'm doing at the time. I rotate things on my phone but you will always find Nine Inch Nails, SONOIO and Puscifer on the list mixed in with anything from bluegrass to Irish punk.

Like most Portlanders I've met, I am a foodie. I like good food and am willing to try just about anything.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My spouse
My secondary partner
Books (one real paper book, the rest ebooks)
The opportunity to be creative
Comfortable shoes
Quiet time
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Life, the universe, and everything.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At home with my household, curled up with my dog and our many cats, knitting and watching movies OR I could be out on a date with my husband.

I think the pertinent information for this section is my taste in "fun". I don't like loud bars or clubs. I like going out to quieter areas. I prefer talking to partying. I don't do drugs or get drunk (I do drink lightly) and I prefer that my companion not be high or drunk while with me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've seen other people object to this section. They say the word "admit" implies shame. I agree. So instead I will say a private thing that I would like to share.
I have invisible disabilities. It sucks but I continually work to balance taking care of myself and not limiting myself.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You are interested!

You are local. I don't have a lot of free time and I really would rather keep it in the Portland area.

You are comfortable, or think you will be comfortable, with the queer, genderqueer, poly, kinky stuff I mentioned in my profile. You don't have to know or understand all of it but you do need to be willing to learn and ask questions. Be honest with yourself and with me and I promise to do the same.

The nitty-gritty: I am a stickler for safer sex practices and there is no negotiation on that. I also do not participate in cheating. If you are interested in sex then your significant other must know and approve of you seeing other people. This is also not negotiable.

Bonus points to people who can talk about sex and casual sexual relationships in an upfront, honest, and frank way. That includes talking about safer sex right upfront as well!

FYI, I tend to be more physically attracted to masculine and androgynous people. I, so far, have never been attracted to a femme but I won't rule it out completely!

So, let's see what happens!