It's another guilt slip
On my Freudian trip
And I think the jokes on me.

Animal lover, humanist, loyal to a fault, avid reader, film watcher, caravan enthusiast. Endomorph. (Yes, my body type 'tends towards roundness', and it's fine by me so if you don't like it then fuck you!).

DEMISEXUAL.

If you're gonna dine with them cannibals, well sooner or later darlin' you're gonna get eaten.

Ruminating, planning, obsessing and generally trying to take over the world with my army of evil minions.

Cackling (according to my friend) and promising myself I'll never leave the house again because of aforementioned cackling. The occasional giggle too. And if it's REALLY funny I'll probably snort, and I'm not even ashamed of that.

Coping (apparently).
Somehow managing to be cynical yet completely naive.
Reading and writing real good.
Collecting cohorts.
Listening.
Pouring pints.
Drinking pints.
The Sims (requires little skill but a lot of patience and determination).
Making people tell me their life story within five minutes of meeting me. This isn't always a good thing, but still I listen.

My hair or my glasses...you tell me?
More than likely my really good taste in books, films, music and tv.

The holes in my clothes. :)

Sunset Song, Kipling, Margaret Atwood, Stephen King, Tanith Lee, Anais Nin, Omensetter's Luck, Bukowski, Sylvia Plath, The Beauty Myth, Helen Dunmore, Iain Banks, The Crow Road and Espedair Street especially...Irvine Welsh, James Herbert, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest

Lars Von Trier, The Dreamers, in fact anything with Michael Pitt he can take me now, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, Shortbus, Todd Solondz, Welcome to the Dollhouse, Happiness, Mysterious Skin, Brick, Magnolia, Shane Meadows, especially Dead Man's Shoes and A Room For Romeo Brass, and of course This Is England in fact he hasn't made a bad film in my opinion, I think he's a genius. As are Mike Leigh and Ken Loach. Martyrs, Dario Argento, Don't Look Now, Roman Polanski Even if it is very hard to separate the art from the artist... Rosemary's Baby is an absolute classic as is Repulsion, The Wicker Man, La Strada, Bergman (From the Life of the Marionettes <3), David Lynch, Harold and Maude, Watership Down, When the Wind Blows, Peeping Tom, Les Yeux Sans Visages, Gus Van Sant, Harmony Korine, Larry Clark, Hammer Horror, Amicus, old-fashioned horror films, Hitchcock, The Plague Dogs, Bad Boy Bubby, Seul Contre Tous, Pink Flamingos, anything by John Waters he rocks and Divine is my idol. "Filth are my politics, FILTH IS MY LIFE!"
Oh and we mustn't forget about Troma! Rabid Grannies, The Toxic Avenger, Poultrygeist Night of the Chicken Dead, Class of Nuke 'em High. I do like some very bizarre/disturbing films such as 964 Pinocchio. Anything truly disgusting such as The Human Centipede. :]

Punk, Grunge, Rockabilly, Psychobilly, Country, Garage rock, Garage punk, Reggae, Prog, Kraut rock, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers, Pearl Jam, Dinosaur JR, Truly, Screaming Trees, Nirvana, Misfits, Offspring, Bad Religion, Replacements, Ramones, Dead Kennedys, Hillbilly Moon Explosion, Herman Dune, Seagull Screaming Kiss Her Kiss her, Alanis Morissette, Neu!, Faust, The Unthanks, The Melvins, Wishbone Ash, King Crimson, Antony and the Johnsons, The Cramps, Screaming Lord Sutch, The Monsters, Mark Lanegan, Sebadoh, J. Mascis and the Fog, Demented Are Go, Nekromantix, The Meteors, The Radiacs, Smashing Pumpkins, Seasick Steve, Horace Andy, Eek A Mouse, Abner Jay, Low, PEACHES <3 Radiohead, Reverend Beat Man and the Unbelievers.

At the moment I'm really enjoying The L Word. Twin Peaks, Monty Python's Flying Circus, The X-Files, Flight of the Conchords, anything involving food, it's like porn to me...Still Game, I'm Alan Partridge, Curb Your Enthusiasm, South Park, The Twilight Zone, Blackadder, A Bit of Fry and Laurie, Father Ted <3 I GENERALLY prefer British/Scottish type humour when it comes to comedy. Sarcasm and wit and general social awkwardness. Oh and Buffy. I'm not going to lie, I'm guilty of watching every episode of Sex and the City at least 20 times and still crying with laughter every time...In my onesie...With wine. I don't know how I forgot Ren and Stimpy and Beavis and Butthead... How rude of me.

I don't eat meat or fish, and I'm supposed to avoid wheat unless I want to be ill, but all the good stuff has wheat in it. NO KIWIS. I like to breathe with ease.

My sense of humour, dark as it may be.
Five more? Really?
My grandparents. They mean the world to me.
Books.
Hot water (I like baths)
Occasional company.
Hair dye.

New names for my Sims.
How most people are total wankers. Why is it so?
Plotting mass murder. (Joking obviously. Or am I?)
Is that person standing too close to me? And if they are is it ok to elbow them in the face?
Is there any more wine?
Please don't talk through a film then ask me what's happening. That's being called a dumbarse.

Pissed. Probably asleep by 9pm after too much tequila.

Although today is Friday and I'm sitting in my pyjamas eating fruit and hiding from the world.

Other Fridays I like to visit my grandparents, drink wine and listen to my granny ranting about things like not wearing a white dress on your wedding day unless you've never been penetrated by a man. Her words, not mine. Love my family.

I lied about my height. I'm sorry :'(

I'm allergic to kiwi fruit. Also animals get sexually aroused whenever I'm nearby. I must have powerful pheromones.

I'm happiest sleeping with my feet touching the headboard and my duvet the wrong way round with the button side in my face. Some people might find this strange...

If you stick something in my face, even unintentionally, I WILL smack you. Got it? If I like you you may get a couple of warnings first, but it's REALLY not a good idea... :P

You know first aid. I'm terribly accident prone.

If you say things like 'Yolo'or 'Bazinga', then please go away. You're not being in any way profound and we will not get on. Cannot bear these pop culture references. Just say real words, it's not like it's hard.

Don't message me, I'll message you. If I don't reply it's because I think you're a c**t. Especially if your message says something about sex or my appearance. And if it's clearly a copy-pasted message then expect a really rude reply, okay? :)