I have taught many old dogs new tricks.
The dark is afraid of me.
My signature once won a Pulitzer.
I can speak flawless French... in Russian.
I tell my milk when, and if to expire.
I can divide by zero.
My cable guy tells me to the minute when he will be arriving.
Chuck Norris has a list of facts about me.
I once started a fire using dental floss and water.
Roses stop to smell me.
Nightclubs have lines of doormen waiting to greet me.
I tip 200%.
If I wish you good luck, you will win the lottery.
I never use oven mits, or potholders.
Bigfoot tries to capture photos of me.
I deep sea fish with a lasso.
I once won the Tour de France, but was disqualified for using a unicycle.
I am... the most interesting man on this lame ass dating website.