Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


28 Brooklyn, NY Man


Similar users

I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 23–34
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 5:29am
Hispanic / Latin
Relationship Type
5' 8" (1.73m)
Body Type
Agnosticism but it’s not important
Doesn’t have kids
Has cats
English, Spanish
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
*Taking a break from okcupid for a while. Still open to dating though, so if you want to grab a drink sometime, just send me a message!*

This profile is best viewed while listening to "I've got so much to give" by Barry White, "Magic man" by Heart, and then maybe "Physical" by Olivia Newton-John.

Friendly introvert. Crown Heights. Bonks front teeth with beverage glasses. Presses AC more times than necessary before using a calculator.

Someone recently put my photo through an app that adds fifty pounds and adds balding hair, and guess what? You could be dating a future Jon Lovitz!
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I left California and the soul-sucking astro-research that I was doing behind three years ago for New York. Now I work as a programmer/researcher at a small tech startup in SoHo that does large-scale data analytics, mostly for big evil banks.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Pressing elevator buttons with the tip of my umbrella and putting the deck of cards back in the box in their original order.
Flirting with old ladies.
Flinging toothpaste at the mirror
Getting along with people, even if they suck
Peering into your mouth when you yawn and not being discreet at all about it.
Double-bouncing small children in bouncy castles
Building my niecephews giant elaborate igloos in the snow, but I've never been able to make a snowman...
Waking up suddenly with a loud snort. This frightens people on airplanes.
And offsetting the 'girly' gender-normative presents (groan) my nieces get with nerdy science-y toys.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Long dreamy eyelashes you can get lost in. Also my big sturdy nose which you can also get lost in.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I will not waste another minute of my life staring at this question.

I also appreciate suggestions for my next cripplingly depressing novel.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Dogs in the workplace
Good-smelling soap
Really satisfying yawn-stretches
Sitting in a warm sunspot in a cool room
Cat belly-rubs

I realize this list makes me sound like I'd be perfectly happy with a life as a domesticated pet.

I also really dig asymmetry.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
The universe
The Helvetica scenario
Will I ever get around to watching The Wire?
How are you supposed to hold your arms when you're going down stairs
I will never truly get all my laundry done unless I go to the laundromat naked
My face would look good on a muppet
Eternal Return
The lives of stock photo people
What I'd do in a Groundhog Day scenario. I come back to this a lot...
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
You'd probably catch me like this:

Bouldering. Reading. Playing Super Nintendo.

Getting annoyed about having to put on pants to receive my seamless order.

Or maybe vacuuming cat hairs.

But definitely avoiding Friday-night crowds:
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm less clever in person.

I have a nasty habit of not finishing books. One day, Infinite Jest, one day...

Enthusiastic little spoon (be my human jetpack!).

When I was little I had the very irrational fear of giving birth. I mean I knew I'd never give birth, but I found the thought of going through the pains of childbirth haunting, and I was still afraid of it. I know. Weird.

There is a single hair that grows long on the right side of my chest, and every few weeks I notice it, decide to yank it out, and it just grows back and the cycle repeats. Now you know.

I feel a little sentimental when I replace my loofah.

A bit absent-minded. Like I'll fumble for the keys to my house and end up holding out my metro card in bewilderment. I'm just deep in thought sometimes, ok?
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You too can rack up an hour long high score in text twist.

You're ok with every once in a while--for about a week after getting a haircut--me (occasionally) looking like Jim Carrey's character in dumb & dumber.

Also, you're not afraid to be ambitious and intelligent. Hearing about what you're into > seeing another selfie.

Fort-building skills are a must.

Also, send me funny internet links.

Also also, if you either have a not-bland profile (laid-back! Adventurous! Netflix!) or your answers to questions are fun to read.

And above all, if you would play monopoly with me while I eat a whole cheesecake.

And it'd be great if you knew how to play the piano, so I could lay suggestively on top of it while you play.