Oops. [profile deleted]
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26 • Omaha, NE • Woman
I’m looking for
- Ages 24–40
- Located anywhere
- Who are single
- For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
- Last online
- Online now!
- Black, Native American, White
- 5′ 2″ (1.57m)
- Body type
- Mostly vegetarian
- Agnosticism, and somewhat serious about it
- Pisces, and it matters a lot
- Strictly monogamous
- Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
- Likes dogs and dislikes cats
- English, French (Okay), Danish (Okay)
Oops. [profile deleted]
Attempting to find a cure for LeftSwype Syndrome.
And, completely based upon the applause and chantings of 'encore' by a bunch of old biker dudes in a hole-in-the-wall karaoke joint, I can sing a rendition of Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive" that'll take you straight to church.
My three nephews; they are the most beautiful little men in my life. I'll always be bad auntie showing them age-inappropriate movies. Shhhh. But I'll also be the one escorting them to the potty because "boggeyman might pop out of the toilet."
...why manners have seemed to take a backseat in society? It's not "no" -- it's "no, thank you." Not "what?" but "pardon me?". Not "fuck you" but "fuck me."
...deep, passionate I'm-Going-To-Tar-The-Fuck-Out-Of-You-If-You-Don't-Hold-Me-Close sort of love.
...why I ever abandoned my Jersey accent. There's something super sexy about anyone who's observant enough to pick up on my subtle verbalizations. +1
...why men give out their numbers so quickly. I could be psycho. Do you realize how much information I can retrieve with just ten digits? Looks like somebody wants a cow heart sent to them in the mail.
...how I've managed to write a profile on a dating site without tapping out an extensive grocery list of "wants." Who cares what I want? I'm here to challenge my preconceived notions of "want."
...how terribly inferior the OKC mobile app is in comparison to the desktop version.
When I sit on a toilet, my feet dangle. The most precious gift in the world would be a stool (*slaps leg*) Please and thank you.
I have enough piercings to make your parents cringe.
I despise sarcasm. I'm not sarcastic. I'm just an ass.
I'm still bitter about a spelling bee I lost in the 2nd grade. And yes, I remember the word on which I fumbled. Shockingly enough, this event triggered a psychological phobia. The word is a place; the place is one I refuse to step within. I was forced once and left with soggybottoms (read: I wet myself). How's that for a secret? Please. Lets chat about it.
Okay, fine, that last sentence was sarcasm.
...you want to become my unhealthy obsession. I pledge to fantasize about you more often than I do Paul Giamatti. Don't let that fool you, it's a hard thing to accomplish.
...you need a travel partner. I always envision being sold into sex slavery when I start scheduling vacations by my lonesome.
...you can remind me to cut back on my salt intake - because I will downright skank for sodium.
...you understand that "activity partners" does not include sexual activity. Sorry, not interested in a romp in the sack with a) you b) you and your girlfriend c) you, your girlfriend and both sets of your parents d) you, your girlfriend, both sets of your parents and the collective household pets, etc.
...most importantly, please don't contact me if you're still hung up on a love from the past. I don't care to have you latch on to me to fill the void created by the remnant emotions for the tramp that bruised your heart. That would make our connection false and you'd be just as jerkfaced as her if you did this to me. I am a woman, I have a sensitive core. Be real with me and I'll be real with you. Pinky swear.
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