Coming back from 3 months of deactivation just feels so, so wrong. Nice to see your pixels again, though.
**The physical, superficial critiques are getting quite old. I'm convinced some of you need Jesus... or a mother.**
[Do I get bonus points for mentioning both Jesus and your mother]?
Oh em gee. A wall of text. If you have a sixth grade reading level or above, you can get through this in under 10 minutes. "Where's the keynotes edition?" Feel free to skim. There won't be a quiz.
I'm not a bar-hopping, promiscuous, adrenaline-fiending 'teen'. I'm probably more of the avoidant, "let's do book club and then castrate the phallic community" while sipping some wine, fun-sucking broad. Wow, now that's the epitome of sexy.
I've attempted to find the value in this website a time or two before. I'll claim success when I manage to keep my profile deactivated for a year or more. What, morbidity! If I show some hairy leg, will you sweet-talk me with your finest example of concupiscence?
That being said, no, I'm not polyamourous. I'm not interested in FWB, NSA, or any other sexually charged scenarios. This isn't Craigslist. I thought I made that clear in my other rewrite, but a good majority still centred on the subject. Maybe people just don't know how to read. Which is even more reason to keep you out of my bed, off my kitchen counter, the wall, the backseat, the top of the dryer... whatever.
Based on my experiences (past and present), I feel as if adding photos to this site sexualizes myself, but being that society focuses so heavily on appearance in terms of attraction - I've added shots to lure in a dabble of interest. You know, because people speak more to my breasts than my face. Okcupid not providing a newsfeed if you choose to not indulge your vanity may have something to do with it as well. Shame on you, OKC. Shame on you!
I've provided a link to my Facebook for your perusal. It's not necessarily for you to add (and realize, I may not even accept), but I know it's the surest way to snoop into my life and see how I normally interact amongst my family and colleagues. It's publicly available, why not?
I've been mistakenly accused of being a dude, as well, so this is to also alleviate your worries of harbouring a penis. Vayjayjay all the way.
[link not offered through okcupid app]
Important To Note:
My sexual orientation is not entirely straight. I've revoked broadcasting bisexuality through here because of the ridiculously asinine attention it brings through the search engine. Gender is of no concern with whom I choose to love.