48 Puyallup, WA
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My self-summary
As always...this is still a work in progress and subject to continual edits and additions. Yes, I've written a lot here. I've included things that I'm tired of telling people bit by bit as I get to know them. I finally figured that if somebody is going to pass me by due to certain circumstances in my life, I'd rather have them do it right from the start, saving both of us time and effort. By the time you're done reading this, you should have a pretty good idea of who I am. If you don't think I'm worthy, do us both a favor, and hide yourself from me.

I guess it's time I put this paragraph in here. I'm not looking for a quick roll in the hay. I'm not here to be one of your "many". Your primary, maybe. Make that a BIG maybe. That's not what I truly want. You'd have to be a pretty spectacular match for me to seriously consider that. That's a recent consideration, and my answers don't reflect that yet. I refuse to be anybody's secret. And yes, I'm a big girl, but I'm working on getting smaller, not bigger, so that means no "feeders". If you're here for the reasons I've listed, be gone...now! I'd rather be alone than settle for any of the above.

Ok...now that the housework is done...why am I here?

Simply put, I'm looking for someone who will match or challenge my intelligence, laughter and passion. I am an open, honest communicator, and I'm looking for those same qualities. Now go back and read that again. They are two very simple sentences, quite easily read, but oh so important. Especially the second sentence. I can't stress enough how important that is to me.

The heart, soul and mind of the person I'm looking for is far more important to me than their physical appearance. The people I've connected with most deeply in the past have been the most ordinary looking men...nobody who would have stood out in a crowd. Because of that, I can see myself with almost anybody. You could be a conservative (looking!) guy who wears a suit all day or a Harley-riding, long-haired, tattooed, intimidating looking guy, or simply an ordinary guy somewhere inbetween....just have a good heart, be open-minded, and reasonably intelligent and we'll be off to a good start. Eccentric individuals and interesting stories or hobbies fascinate me!

Please don't think you have to be a brain surgeon to impress me! Know what you stand for. Being able to tell me WHY you think something is more important to me than your IQ score. Be able to defend your thinking and logic! And please don't ever tell me that you vote a certain way because that's how your family always did it! Be your own person!

I was born in Seattle and have always lived in this area. I grew up mostly in Puyallup, but did live in Graham for four years on a small farm where we raised cows, turkeys, chickens and rabbits. I have great childhood memories of riding motorcycles, exploring the woods, building forts, going fishing and collecting critters from local ponds and viewing them under my microscope (I was a science nerd even back then!). I enjoyed the small farm lifestyle and wouldn't mind recreating it on a small scale at some point in the future. That's not a requirement though...it's really more an indication of my desire for a peaceful, laid-back lifestyle.

I did well in school, mostly A's with occasional B's...so I'd say I'm above average in intelligence, but would never call myself brilliant or a genius. Math and Science were my favorite subjects. I was also active on the Debate Team. When Mom and Dad got divorced, the college education I'd always been promised sort of evaporated. I went to Green River Community College after high school for Pre-Engineering. I did well in all of my courses, but I found that I didn't really enjoy the Engineering classes that much. Sure, I could crank out the right answer, but there was no joy in it. What I was finding much more interesting were my Psychology, Abnormal Psychology, Deviant Sociology and Ancient Civilizations classes. But it had always been drilled into me how "impractical" these types of classes and careers were, so I stuck to the Math and Sciences.

Life got in the way of my full-time schooling so I got a full-time job making computer chips. Work paid for me to go to school part-time (which I did off and on, taking breaks to avoid burn-out) and I eventually earned my general 2 year degree from Pierce College and transferred to the University of Puget Sound to study Chemistry (I did still have a passion for that subject). Eventually work changed their education program and I was unable to finish my degree. Soon after that the plant closed it's doors. After 12 years of working in the semiconductor industry, that ended the majority of my formal college education.

My mom also worked at the computer chip plant, so she also lost her job at the same time. In order to save rent money, keep mom from losing her house, and help mom due to some of her health issues, I moved into the upstairs of her split-level house, where I still rent from her to this day. I HAVE lived on my own...for over a decade. Mom never comes upstairs, so I have my privacy, she keeps her house, has help when she needs it, and it all works out quite well.

After the computer chip plant closed, I attended Tacoma Community College and was retrained as a medical biller/coder. I did that for 7 years before things in my life sort of fell apart. It's not what I ever expected or had planned for my life, but I ended up on disability. I have back issues and have had both of my knees replaced due to arthritis, but I don't walk with a cane or anything like that and have never even considered using a scooter, even after surgery! For those with issues or concerns about entitlement programs, I'm on disability and Medicare only. I worked long enough at jobs that paid well enough that I don't need or in most cases don't qualify for any other kinds of assistance. I thought long and hard about whether or not I should put this information in here, and decided I'd rather be straightforward and honest about it. Some people will pass me by because of it while others will realize that I have a steady income and plenty of time to dedicate to a relationship and taking care of my man! Which will you do? I may not be your financial equal, but I can bring a lot to the table in other ways, and can be a support that a working partner might not have the time to be.

What I can say about being on disability is that I have totally re-evaluated my "wants" vs. my "needs". And while it would be nice to have the latest smartphone, I-pad, biggest TV, nicest car, cool clothes, etc., that's not what life and happiness are really about. I have enough to take care of myself and my needs and I expect the same of any partner. I own my own car and I do keep insurance on it. I have a couple credit cards that are always paid on time or early and I always pay more than the minimum due. I wouldn't turn down a better life, but I'm not desperate for one either.

I'm not really much of a girly girl. I used to be...in my 20's, back when I was going out to clubs. I had quite the wardrobe, plenty of shoes and was into makeup. But I worked in a clean room making computer chips for 12 years, and in that environment you're not allowed to wear makeup or perfume. So I got used to not wearing it. To this day I generally don't wear it, but that is starting to change. I don't put it on for errands, but will for lunch with a girlfriend, etc. And if I found a special guy who preferred that I wore a little, I would gladly accommodate him.

I'm definitely spiritual, but not religious. I'm not an atheist, but I respect your right to be one. I was raised being told that we believed in God, but we never read the Bible, prayed, or went to church. So while I give a "nod to God", I also have a hard time capitalizing that "G" sometimes. I have agnostic leanings, yet I also had this one spiritual experience that I might tell you about some day...when I know you a little better. So basically, I'm fine with whatever you are, as long as you give me the room to be myself. I won't try to offend you, but if I truly think something is ridiculous, I'm probably going to say something about it. My personal attempts to connect with organized religion have left me just a little jaded.

Pet peeves: 1) Having to push a button in order to get English. I don't mind hearing the other directions in the other language(s). Just don't ask me to do anything special to get the language of my country!
2) Having to refer to Washington as "Washington State" because the lazy asses in "DC" can't say the name of their city. What other state has to add "state" after it? Michigan State is a school, right? As is Florida State, right? Well so is Washington State!!!
3) People who clog up the aisles at Costco because they lose their freaking minds over the free food samples. I mean, really?!? Otherwise intelligent, considerate people gork out over a mouthful of free food...screw everybody else who is actually there to SHOP!

Thank you for letting me get that out of my system...I feel much better now! :)
What I’m doing with my life
At this point, I'm just doing the best I can with what I have, given the road I've travelled and the choices I've made along the way.

I'm an adult literacy volunteer who absolutely adores my first student, a tiny bundle of enthusiastic energy from Bangladesh. I'm definitely looking forward to the give and take of this relationship.
I’m really good at
Listening/being a good friend to talk to -- It's kind of funny how many times over the years guys have ended up telling me how easy I am to talk to. I almost think in some cases it was BECAUSE I was fat. I think being overweight eliminated me from their minds as a possible conquest, which freed them up to view me just as a friend instead of letting sexual tension get in the way. It might also help that I've been told a few times that I think like a man (in that I tend to be very logical). But don't ever forget that I'm still a woman, guided by some pretty good intuition and usually helped by my emotions.
The first things people usually notice about me
My size. Just being realistically honest. I'm a larger size BBW, or a SSBBW (super-sized BBW), but am actively working to get back to being just a regular BBW again. I've lost over 50lbs since the beginning of the year and am currently a size 4X. I was pretty comfortable and happy as a size 3X, so that is my goal for now. After that, we'll see. I'll always be a BBW. I'm not sure if size 2X is too much to hope for or not. I'm not in a hurry though. It will all work itself out.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: I'm not quite the reader I used to be as a kid. But I just got bifocals, so hopefully that will be changing. I'm not as well read as I'd like to be. No great masterpieces listed here (but know that I do admire those of you who list great authors, thinkers and masterpieces...you've caressed my cerebral erogenous zone!). My literary tastes are more mainstream. My favorite author for years was Stephen King, but then I discovered Dean Koontz. I also enjoy Dan Brown. The Harry Potter books were great, and I liked the first Hunger Games book. I'm just as apt to pick up a non-fiction book on a subject that interests me or that I want to know more about. The last two subjects I read about were ancient civilizations (because it interests me) and Islam (because I don't understand why my Dad thinks they're going to take over America). I've also read all of Anthony Bourdain's books...I think he's the coolest, snarkiest guy in America!

Movies: Just off the top of my head...The Shawshank Redemption, A Requiem For a Dream, A Clockwork Orange, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Silence of the Lambs, American Beauty, The Green Mile, Mask (not The Mask), Forrest Gump, City of Angels, Soylent Green, The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, Trainspotting, What's Eating Gilbert Grape. Also loved Jodie Foster in Contact and The Accused, Charlize Theron in Monster, and Nicolas Cage in Leaving Las Vegas. And finally, movies that I just really liked: 50 First Dates, Eagle Eye, Waterworld (like I care what the critics think!), Raiders of the Lost Ark, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Finding Nemo, Twelve Monkeys, Monsters, Inc., The Truman Show, Capitalism: A Love Story

As I become more active, I find I'm watching fewer and fewer of the following shows...to the point of even (gasp!) deleting some from my DVR! Because it's relatively inexpensive as far as entertainment goes, I think TV becomes a main feature in the lives of many people on disability. As I struggle to break free from my "addiction", these are the shows I keep jonesin' for:
TV shows: Survivor, Dexter, The Big Bang Theory and Breaking Bad are my absolute favorites.
Also, Grimm, The Following, Criminal Minds, Doctor Who, Orphan Black, Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, Mike & Molly, Hot in Cleveland, The Incredible Dr. Pol, Real Time with Bill Maher, Nature, Nova, The Nature of Things, The Neighbors, Anger Management, Monday Mornings, The Soup.
These are more hit and miss: South Park, Two and a Half Men, Amazing Race, Covert Affairs, Homeland, Revolution, CSI, Ink Master, Cops, Parole Diaries, Vegas Strip, Jail, 60 Minutes.
I enjoy comedy specials on Comedy Central, Showtime and HBO. I also like most cooking competition shows, especially Top Chef and Hell's Kitchen.
I love any show with Anthony Bourdain.
Favorite shows that are no longer in production: X-Files, Lost, Fraiser, Nip/Tuck, Fringe, Eureka, ER, Six Feet Under, The Carol Burnett Show, The Twilight Zone, The Outer Limits, Star Trek: The Next Generation

Music: Used to play a HUGE role in my life. Now I pretty much just listen to it in the car (usually KISW unless they're talking too much or an alternative station). I wouldn't mind getting back into the current stuff again (I'm not talking pop or hip-hop).
I played the clarinet in band and was pretty good at it, so I have a good appreciation of classical music. I taught myself to play my sister's flute & piccolo and my brother's sax. I really wanted to learn piano and guitar, but that never happened.
I grew up listening to my parent's music...John Denver, ABBA, Barry Manilow, Neil Diamond...so I do have an appreciation for that era, but it also kind of kept me from developing my own tastes. I didn't really start listening to my own music until late jr high, so I missed most of the 70's rock. I might recognize the super popular songs by AC/DC, The Who, Rush, Journey, etc. but I wouldn't be able to tell you who it was. I'm actually more into 60's music (love The Doors and The Beatles) than 70's music. I graduated in 1985, so 80's New Wave was what influenced me the most. My first concert was Duran Duran (I wasn't typical...Nick was my favorite). I was into bands like U2, Depeche Mode, B-52's, Talking Heads, Eurythmics, Tears For Fears, The Cure, Thompson Twins, INXS, Culture Club, The Clash, Ministry, Missing Persons. I got more into Rock and Alternative in the 90's. My best friend's husband played in a local rock band, so that helped my "conversion".
I used to have a HUGE CD collection (including all the Beatles releases), but an unfortunate burglary changed that. Now it's pretty small and outdated.
Favorite Albums: Guns 'N Roses - Appetite For Destruction, U2 - Achtung Baby

Food: Vietnamese/Thai/Indian, seafood/fish/shellfish/crustaceans of all varieties, chicken teriyaki/chicken katsu, Chinese, grilled steak, pizza (prefer white sauce), Popeye's chicken, Subway's Seafood sandwiches. I don't eat green peppers, sausage and oj because they don't like me (plus I have reflux issues). I prefer to do most of my own cooking. I eat mostly chicken and some x-lean ground beef, try to fit in extra veggies wherever possible and keep fruits on hand.
The six things I could never do without
Let's skip Maslow's hierarchy of needs and go with...
1 - family/friends
2 - income
3 - transportation
4 - DVR/TV
5 - internet/computer
6 - a particular "magical" product by Hitachi - so yeah, I have an adventurous, kinky side...which you'll never see if you don't learn about ME first!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
My future living situation. My roommate/mother might be moving in the next year sometime, so I'm in limbo as to what to do next. I have my eye on a duplex in Gig Harbor (I know the owner and one of my friends lives in the other half), but it depends on timing and finding a suitable roommate.
But...I'm finding more friends a little further north. So I'm open to whatever the future might bring.
On a typical Friday night I am
The DVR will be recording Bill Maher. Other than that, I don't really have a schedule, so Friday is just as typical as any other night...I do whatever I want! What do you have in mind?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Really? Like I'm going to broadcast that here? If there's something you want to know, just ask me!

Now, if the question was what's the most embarrassing thing I'm willing to admit, I'd answer that one with...

I have a favorite Kardashian sister! LOL Can you guess which one? Hint: It probably won't be the most popular answer!

The right kind of Dominant (or Switch) would be a wonderful bonus! Yes, I capitalized those words for a reason. If you're of the right mindset, you know why. If this REALLY peaks your interest, we can talk about this "other" website...

And finally...it would be really nice if you were 420 tolerant or friendly. See the appropriate questions in the Lifestyle section for more details, or just ask! I'm intelligent...my brain is not fried...and I'm referring primarily to light medical use, so hopefully that doesn't freak you out.
You should message me if
If you actually made it this far, congratulations! If you're intelligent, we have a high match %, you think we might click or you liked the way I answered most of my questions, let me know! Just visiting my profile isn't enough! You might have visited and decided, "No thanks." Visit me again and again, and I might get the hint. But I really prefer the direct approach. Just say hi...you seem interesting because...or something like that. It's not THAT hard!