Let's start with the basics, shall we? My name is Zach. I was born in New York City but have lived in Montclair, New Jersey for most of my life. I have recently moved into a pretty awesome apartment in Montclair. I graduated from Goucher College with a degree in English/Creative Writing in 2009.

I am a mix of contradictions. I'm cautious but I don't like being cooped up. I don't like to live in the past, yet the music I enjoy the most is not current. I'm not a fan of cheese, but I love pizza. I'm Jewish but I was never bar mitzvahed. I'm an English major but I hate writing essays. Much like this one.

The word that is often used to describe me is "hilarious." I have a pretty deadpan/sarcastic/dark sense of humor that people seem to find very amusing. To me, there's nothing better than making someone laugh.

Now on to the more interesting parts.

I work as a web assistant at one of the leading publications for nonprofit organizations doing ad trafficking and various marketing work. I also run their twitter page and their blogs, as well as write press releases. I also write articles for the website and the magazine.

When I am not in work mode, I can usually be found at a movie theater, mini golf places, bowling alleys, just about anywhere. I have a tight knit group of friends (a few of whom I have known since kindergarten) and I try to find time to hang out with them as much as I can.

I have been playing piano since the beginning of college now, and I can't imagine not doing without it. I try to play open mics every week. I have been told that I am very talented.

I have many life goals, and many of them involve traveling somewhere. I want to eventually visit the following countries: Australia, New Zealand, and China. There are many other places (especially in Europe) I want to go, but those are the three at the top of my list.

Writing, making sarcastic comments, listening, playing the piano, Apples2Apples, and random trivia. I also have a pretty good eye for dog breeds.

Memorizing the lyrics of songs. This is sort of necessary since I play a lot.

My eyes or my height.

I was once asked if I was Arab while at the DMV. Keep in mind that I am whiter than white.

Oh, and I have been called "Josh" way too many times to count. Always by teachers.

Books: Lord of the Rings, Kite Runner, A Thousand Splendid Suns, Harry Potter series, The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime, Bel Canto, Moby Dick, The Hobbit

Movies: WAY too many to list but to name a few: The Wrestler, Star Wars, Team America: World Police, The Shawshank Redemption, O Brother Where Art Thou?, There Will Be Blood, No Country For Old Men, Star Trek (the new one), In Bruges, Lars and the Real Girl, Casablanca (I actually just saw this a few months ago. I know, for shame), Monty Python and the Holy Grail, What About Bob?, The Departed, The Shining, 2001: A Space Odyssey, 127 Hours, I Love You, Man, Pan's Labyrinth, The Seven Samurai, The King's Speech

Music: Billy Joel (the reason I got into piano. Corny? Maybe. True? Absolutely), Elton John, Eric Clapton, Guns 'n Roses, Richard Shindell, Warren Zevon, AC/DC, Queen, Fountains of Wayne, Bob Dylan, The Beatles, The Kinks, Ben Folds, Michael Buble, Mozart, Robert Johnson (another bonus point chance if you know who this is), Weezer, Fleetwood Mac, The Offspring, Jonathan Coulton (another bonus point opportunity), Stephen Lynch, James Taylor, Jackson Browne

TV: Cash Cab, MythBusters, Dexter, The Walking Dead, Seinfeld, Curb Your Enthusiasm, old school Nickelodeon cartoons, Fawlty Towers, The Office, South Park, Family Guy (occasionally), Mystery Science Theater 3000, Kitchen Nightmares (TV crack), Chopped, Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives.

I'm going to add my own category now:

Sports: Baseball (Yankees. Yeah, yeah, call me a front-runner, I don't care.), Basketball (Orlando Magic...yeah that's right, not a local team), Football (Jets), Tennis (Novak Djokavic).

My family, my friends, my piano, my dogs, the internet, and my phone. Kind of basic but these are kind of life essentials. Along with food and drink but that's kind of obvious isn't it? Also, six is kind of a random number. Why not five?

How dating shares a lot in common with the job search. Why it's impossible to avoid traffic.

Hopefully not stuck in traffic on the way home from work. That seems to be happening a lot lately. But ideally, I will be out with friends seeing a movie, having dinner, or just doing something completely random. Like the time we drove to this ridiculously creepy abandoned hospital at night. Not for the faint of heart.

Honestly, I'll do whatever I'm not too picky. Although I am not a huge drinker, I do like hanging at bars with good friends or the right person (MAYBE YOU?).

I like the Ernest movies way more than I should.

I have only been trick or treating four or five times in my life. This is because, more often than not, I got strep throat on Halloween. This is a huge source of bitterness for me.

My cousin produced Moulin Rouge. His name is Fred Baron.

I'm looking for something that will eventually turn into a long-term relationship, but I want to take it slow. Nothing good ever comes out of rushing into things.

I don't have many requirements, but you should at least tolerate dogs. Bonus points if you love them. Even more bonus points if you own a Puggle. If you get all the bonus points listed in this profile you win a cookie. Only chocolate chip or peanut butter though, sorry.

If there's a part of you that wishes this is real even though you know it would be awful.

You want to go to the Natural History Museum with me.