I'm well described by the Tom Waits song, "Goin' Out West." That's also pretty much what it sounds like when I sing. From Brooklyn to Seattle is a saga that you can ask me about in person.
Things I do:
Make a living petting cats and choking people. This is not a sex thing.
Honor my word.
Read constantly and follow the John Waters rule about not fucking people if they don't have books. "I don't have time to read," is an unacceptable answer.
Ride a motorcycle. People seem to have strong feelings about this so I'm telling you now.
Listen to loud music and sing along to it poorly.
Laugh at my own jokes, sometimes before I tell them. Occasionally I laugh so hard that I'm unable to actually get the joke out which might look strange to an observer as I sit there in giggling tears for no apparent reason. That just makes it funnier. Oh god, I'll be ok in a minute.
Refuse to take things seriously. Seriously.