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39 Minneapolis, MN Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 28-45
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating

My details

Last online
Nov 22
5' 11" (1.80m)
Body Type
Agnosticism and laughing about it
Doesn’t have kids but wants them
English (Fluently), Spanish (Somewhat), Russian (Somewhat)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Got out of a terrible relationship with someone I met on here recently(she was less than faithful) I work a lot and am a handful! If you can deal with that, and you're a good person I'd like to meet you!

Me---> (my travel blog)

Ok, because I'm fed up with all the ridiculous typing it takes to meet people on here!!!! ME---> I bartend at the Wilde Roast on Saint Anthony Main(I work 2 other jobs not service industry related)........YOU- For the love of GOD! Not the drunk chick saying "Hey! What're you doing after work?" (The answer is.....going to go home, masturbate,watch amazon prime, and wish to christ I had met someone with substance!!!!)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Work,work,work, and more work
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Would you believe... popping a "wheelie on a unicycle"?! No you say! Ok, fair 'nuff. Um, I play a ukulele." Damn right! I'll play you a version of Lady Gagas "Telephone" that'll make you AND angels weep!

Well, since the doctors found a preponderance of midichlorians in my blood, I've been lightsaber training, not to brag but...I'm pretty good. Don't worry ladies! I'm told the "force" isn't contagious!
(this was a really nerdy Star Wars reference. If you got are awesome!)
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
blue eyes? Outgoing personality? Possibly my prehensile tail(great at parties)...who's to know?

I'm pretty sure nobody notices my nervous ticks or the backwards glances I frequently make checking to see if the "government" is following me?!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Excerpt from a text exchange...

Me: So what do you like?
Her: I like music.
Me: Awesome! Me too! So many women on here hate music!
Her: Really?
Me: Ya, but that's great you like it! I mean, what're the odds?!!
Her: For sure!

Bwahahahahha! Think I "peed" a little!

***Don't read this!!! I haven't thought of anything to make it less boring***(Work in progress)

Very diverse.... The big Lebowski---> Hellraiser. Anne of green gables---->x-men 1st class.
Bette Middler--->skinny puppy--the lumineers--> the bodeans-->Pantera

Tempe--->pork adobo--> picckled herring---->cheeseburgers
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1.At least one of my kidneys
2.At least one of my lungs
3.The ability to convert oxygen to energy on a cellular level within my body
4.I think we only use 15% of our brain so, I guess I need that. The other 85% is just for "showin off"
5.a central nervous system
6. Skin

Oh, and "Raptor Jesus"!!! (He went extinct for our sins!)
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
I think scientifically it is a fact that despite what the movie the "matrix" would have you believe, generating power bio-chemically/electrically, is implausible. However, harvesting methane from "Stasis-podded" humans is much more feasible!(given the proper high fiber diet)

Wouldn't the movie have been funnier that way!?!?!?!
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Making "skin suits" from all my former okcupid dates! (not funny you say?! Too over the top!?!? Write your own f*ing profile!!!)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Part of me(despite appearances) is shy. The extroverted thing is overcompensation. I'm pretty guarded.
I am pretty proud that I've used my sonic toothbrush for more than brushing my teeth.
Masturbation without any lubricant pisses me off and I can't spit that far!
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I've been on here a number of years....Message me if you can actually "WoW" me, ie., Impress your kindness, love, and optimism for a "stupid", on okcupid. Show me this site is more than simply the farewells to modern or wise, society.
Or!!! if you have a great joke that could make me lose bladder or bowel control!!!