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Zapgun2

38 M Portland, OR

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 11:41pm
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 9″ (1.75m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Anything
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Socially
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Hinduism, but not too serious about it
Sign
Aquarius
Education
Job
Other
Income
$150,000–$250,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Pets
Likes dogs and has cats
Speaks
English

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My self-summary
I'm a musician, writer, comedian, collage artist, pod caster, information junky. I like to have as much fun as I can doing things that further my path. I like to drink and talk about funny but intelligent things. I like to read silly fiction or super serious nonfiction. I'm a sucker for conspiracy theories, too. I obsessively research things like the band Queen or sci fi writers perhaps. I'll act boring so you can bitch about me. You think you want someone interesting but you don't. "What a cute dumbfuck," is what you'll tell friends. "Why did I go out with him?"
I've heard this conversation from stupid cunts in the two years I've been on here. I wake up in the morning to their stupid rant. I know I'm better but what does it matter? You don't want something better. You want a cookie cutter piece of shit. And that's what you deserve. I've been a model boyfriend and have only gotten treated like shit. So fuck you, you fake cunts. I have a solid job, am a real artist, have a big dick and am good in bed, and am really giving and nice, but no, it's not good enough is it, princess?
What I’m doing with my life
Signed a book deal with Paramount to option every story I write, crazy podcast, writing a sci fi novel, making collages for friends
I always have a million projects going. Hopefully I'll see a completion before I'm dead.
I’m really good at
Making people laugh. Keeping things out of the ordinary (in a good way). Providing warmth for my friends. Making people think. Making you happy, but, it doesn't matter, does it?
The first things people usually notice about me
That I look pissed off. Well, that I'm witty, too. I don't put with their fake text messages when we were supposed to hang out and I scheduled time out of my day to do so, BUT, THEY have an issue. It's usually bullshit involving another guy, but, whatever, it's cool. If we made plans for two weeks to hang out and suddenly you can't within an hour of said date. Hopefully the rest of your life will suck. You deserve it, princess. THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU. Don't forget, cunt.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite authors are Harvey Pekar, Charles Bukowski, Richard Braughtigan, Hunter S Thompson. Favorite artists are Robert Crumb, Charles Burns, Jackson Pollock. I like biker movies, situational comedies like The Graduate, Man on the Moon. Brazil is one of my favorites, too. I've been watching a lot of documentaries lately. I like cerebral electronic music, dream pop, synth pop, The Jesus and Mary Chain, Radiohead, Electric Wizard. I like to eat at quirky diners as far as food goes. Clockwork Orange. Spiritualized. Buffalo 66 is my favorite movie.
The six things I could never do without
Stimulation, alleviation with laughter, my cat, Christmas lights in the bathroom, movies, snap shirts. An actual real girlfriend that cares about me no matter what, hmmmmmm, never had that. Would be fucking nice instead of having to put up with other people's shit and their self-centered stipulations.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
How to improve myself, why people do the things they do, how to relax my brain, behind the scenes of anything
How obnoxious it is that my okc personality is really 'drug friendly'. I rarely do drugs anymore. Why would they put that on a profile, Jesus! I might as well write on here that I'm a drug addict. The dates will pour in then. I'm sure.
On a typical Friday night I am
Having a movie night with friends, drinking, looking up whatever subject is stuck in my head, past life regression and meditation (for real)
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I can be kinda shy and I like to look up classic wrestling matches on youtube. Yeah, I wear khaki shorts and I'm a stupid dumb fuck. Come meet me at the bar to see if I fit in with your bullshit criteria of who you can use. At least have a nice ass, okay?
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 20–41
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
You're nerdy, not too stuck up, not too normal and you want to actually meet up. You want to be with someone who is a successful artist instead of a wannabe hipster no name. Looking for a wife to complete my fantasy wayward reality.