Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm Zarte, I'm 24, I live in Buckinghamshire. But it says that at
the top... so I don't know why I'm saying it again but it feels
like I should.
I use a wheelchair. I hate the fact I have to mention this but
apparently it's important. Doesn't bother me though, so I don't see
why it should you. Please note, wheelchair does not mean
paraplegic. My body has all the right notes, just not necessarily
in all the right order (Kudos if you get the reference)
My sexual tastes are varied but usually rather kinky. This may seem
odd to put so close to the top. It's mostly to appease the idiots
on here who just want to know anything that's going to put them
off. If you're actually wanting to read a profile properly, carry
on - I might say something worthwhile at some point
I'm single. I never used to be very good at being single, but I'm
getting better at it as I don't think you know what's right for you
if you can't but I still can't help looking wishfully for
I like sport (though clearly not practically very often), music
(mostly indie and rock, but anything's good) and generally chilling
with friends. I'm also a damn good cook. And a little bit of a food
snob. Which irritates people, but I don't realise I'm doing it. (My
Mother has taken to hitting me any time I talk about a "creme
I am acerbic, opinionated and sarcastic, but then so are most
people on here seemingly. There. We have one thing in common. Feel
free to try and find more. Generally come across as a wanker, but I
am genuinely lovely if you don't bring out my mildly sociopathic
I'm not very good at diplomacy either... never ask me a question
unless you want anything other than brutal honesty
I have no idea what I'm looking for, but if it's tall, it'll
probably do (Height tends to be my one REALLY shallow trait, sorry
I try to reply to all messages, but only in blunt terms. I hope
SOMEONE reads this and sees something in it...
I'm also trying to not be as ludicrous and frivolous as I would
usually be in profile texts, but I have the urge to tell you a
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Life is a forever varying thing for me. I'm technically
self-employed which means I work when I feel like, if the work's
there in the first place.
This means I can spend weeks just dossing around aimlessly and then
spend weeks working surlily for my next pay cheque.
In the middle of that I tend to play word games and occasionally
get far more drunk than I should.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Cooking... but I already said that...
What else... erm. Making people laugh/irritating the fuck out of
people - These appear to be individually mutually exclusive. It's
one or the other for most people I mean... God I ramble
sometimes... someone give me a distraction...
*watches squirrel* That'll do.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My eyes physically. And then the fact I've left a trail of
destruction in my wake.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Book - A Long Way Down
Film - Shawshank Redemption
TV - Anything food related, sport related, or intelligent
Music - I'm founded in rock but I like bits of everything.
Food - I like most food. Especially if it's spicy.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
A filthy mind
Someone to apologise for me
My ability to count to 6.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Human rights, privacy, food, sex, 9-letter words.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Playing word games, occasionally drinking, making as much of a
nuisance of myself as I do on the other 6 nights of the week.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I used to be the promoter for a fetish event.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're clinically insane.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.