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Zelmo_Swift

41 M Portland, OR

My Details

Last Online
Online now!
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Desperately
Drugs
Religion
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Sign
Capricorn, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Dropped out of university
Job
Other
Income
$20,000–$30,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English (Okay)

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My self-summary
Completely normal, not at all strange or creepy average Joe seeking companionship from the opposite sex.

Curious about the world, many interests, rarely bored.

It's probably possible to live without art and music and literature but who wants to try?

Cynical yet hopeful, opinionated yet flexible, working to be a better human being with varying degrees of success.

I enjoy spending time alone but it would be nice to have someone around to share experiences with. It's so much easier to do the sawing when someone's holding the body still.
What I’m doing with my life
"To rescue the banal is every lyric poet's ambition." -Charles Simic

I spend most of my time drawing and painting and putting together books of poetry and other written stuff. I've never been so good at the moneymaking end of the creative process, so I pay my rent by working at an adorably dysfunctional local arts institution.

I like engaging in plenty of cultural activities; more of the moviewatching-bookreading-concertgoing type than a hardcore hiker, though I do love the outdoors and spend an inordinate amount of time walking around looking at stuff.
I’m really good at
Taking the time to stop and listen in between bouts of ranting. Slowing down to enjoy the world around me. Balancing the need for privacy with the need for human interaction. Making my life more complicated than it needs to be. Calmly and humanely handling situations involving spiders. Making myself look like a jackass on dating profiles.
The first things people usually notice about me
People often tell me I look just like George Clooney. Oh, I'm sorry; not George Clooney the actor, I'm talking about George "Hambone" Clooney, this homeless guy who's always asking for change outside the Plaid Pantry down the street from where I live. His shopping cart boasts the biggest collection of broken boom boxes in Southeast Portland.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love reading, going out to the cinema and listening to music. I'll watch movies at home but only as a last resort. I also love looking at art and going to readings. Books in particular are essential in my life, and it would be great if they were in yours as well.I'd love to talk about our favorites in person rather than just listing them here. Until then, assume that I have impeccable taste in all things. I'm sure you do too.

I will say that Fishing With John gives me hope for humanity.
The six things I could never do without
1 bottle Makers Mark
1 pack Lucky Strikes
1 pair handcuffs
1 bag of Cool Ranch Doritos
1 revolver
1 bullet

...what was the question again?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Art and its place in the world.

Self awareness.

Barbara Stanwyck.
On a typical Friday night I am
usually doing lines off a hooker's ass. Either that or sitting at home reading late-18th century poetry. On very rare, magical occasions, both.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Always choose House of Mystery over House of Secrets. Always.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 30–50
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
-you still believe in the possibility of human connection.

-You are not so dissatisfied with this incredible world that you rely on invisible superheroes in the sky, elves and pixies, or the alignment of celestial bodies to give your life meaning.

One last thing; for all of you who say you are looking for a "partner in crime", have you not seen the end of Fargo?

My name is Zelmo Swift and I approve this message.