Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
You enter to find Devin sitting in a large leather chair reading a
ponderous tome. He looks up: "Oh hello, I didn't hear you come in.
Have a seat, won't you..."
I've been told that this profile is too long. I can't help it. I
get bored when I'm supposed to be writing something productive, and
I write this instead. Is it too long? Very well, then it's too
long. I am large. I contain multitudes. Anyway, if you're a
tl;dr-type, skim down to the "private thing I'm willing to admit"
and the "you should message me if..." sections and if you like
what's there, then feel free to poke around the rest. Now back to
the regularly scheduled profile.
I pride myself on the fact that you can take me anywhere. I'm
equally comfortable eating lunch at a fancy club, playing in a
rugby match, singing show tunes at a gay bar in the west village,
staying in with board games, riding my motorcycle around the city,
staying up until 3 AM arguing philosophy, dancing to EDM, watching
a difficult piece of theater, learning something new in a class, or
just taking a walk and cracking jokes.
I'm probably sillier than you.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I was an actor and a teacher, but then I went back to school in a
dual MBA/MFA program at NYU, and finished classes a year ago
(though I still need to submit the thesis film for the MFA part).
Now I make things. Mostly produce. Some write. Little direct.
This means that I'm around the same group of people a lot, so while
it'd be lovely if you make my heart race and my mouth dry and we
instantly leave the world behind and move to the mountains of
Bolivia needing nothing but our love to keep us warm, I'm also
happy if you're just a cool person who can expand my social circle.
There's really a wide range of possibilities there.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
- Knowing useless information.
- Playing games (the fun kind, not those of the heart).
- Intentionally making people laugh.
- Unintentionally making people laugh.
- Being a good person.
- High Fives.
- Doing a dead-on impression of a velociraptor.
- Eating at good restaurants (seriously, it's a skill. I know
people who are bad at it).
- Managing to talk to people on a dating site without turning into
anyone mentioned here:
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My war-cry as I descend from above!
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
This used to be just a bunch of big lists, but they always felt
either incomplete or like an information explosion, so I've changed
Books: I read pretty much anything that's recommended to me and
enjoy both fiction and non-fiction, though I'm not really into
trade-paperback thrillers and the like. I do tend to like good
fantasy, and get pretty hipsterish about A Song of Ice and Fire (I
had been waiting not-so-patiently for A Dance with Dragons for six
years, and then all of these HBO-watching latecomers start the
series and get to just read through to the fifth book!? Psh,
Movies: As you may have guessed from the whole "film school" thing,
I like movies a lot. I like a wide range though. My favorite movie
of all time is Dr. Strangelove (or How I Learned to Stop Worrying
and Love the Bomb), but the movie I've probably seen more than any
other is Wayne's World. I love the abstraction of Koyaanisqatsi,
but will also watch Legally Blonde every time I see it on TBS.
Also, you know that obscure pop culture reference you're making?
I'll get it.
TV Shows: I tend to watch more comedy than drama (though The Wire
is possibly my favorite show ever) and am a fan of the shows that
you would expect me to be a fan of given my demographic and
psychographic profile (Arrested Development, 30 Rock, The Simpsons,
Parks & Rec, Louie, Community when Dan Harmon is involved,
etc.). There's not really a lot that I'm keeping up with on a
weekly basis at this point though. Also, do yourself a favor, go on
Netflix, and watch Firefly.
Music: I like a little bit of everything, which to some people
means that I actually like nothing. Seriously though, why are you
being so judgmental, Those People? I'm not as into music as I am
into movies or books, but I enjoy being introduced to new things
that I like. You know that list you have on your profile? Yeah, I
like some of those artists, but other ones I don't know too much
about. Won't you teach me? Also, no matter how much I like Mumford
& Sons or Janelle Monae, I will never relinquish my love of
early-90s West Coast hip-hop and Seattle grunge. Also, The Who is
the greatest band of all time.
Food: Good food. Just not zucchini.
This wound up being even longer than the lists. Oh well.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
I had air, food, water, etc. and I thought I was all clever until I
saw everyone else's profiles, so Ill just go with six things I
would prefer to not do without:
- Intellectual discourse
- Poland Spring Sparkling Water with Lime
- A purpose (my special purpose, if you will)
- Pictures of women who wear fake mustaches to let potential
suitors know that despite being attractive, they are actually cool,
down-to-earth girls with a sense of humor.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
- The future.
- Ways to make the future better.
- The efficiency of my path.
- Funny things that should be turned into sketches or movies.
- Things that people usually only find interesting while high,
though I'm sober at the time.
- What should go here.
- How it is that an entire class of film school students can not
get a basic Sondheim reference.
- What it means about me that so many of my 95%+ matches seem to be
23 year olds from Brooklyn.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
either staying in or going out, or something else entirely.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
While it's not perfect, I've found that I can predict whether
someone will be into me by their celebrity crushes.
If your celebrity crushes include Tom Hardy, Channing Tatum, Joe
Manganiello, or any variety of Hemsworth, then we may get along,
you may even like me, but there's a lower chance of that.
If, however, your celebrity crushes include Paul Rudd, John
Krasinski, Adam Scott, or Seth Meyers, you'll fall for me. I can't
help it, it's science.
If your celebrity crush is Rod Stewart, then Hi Mom! What are you
doing on OKCupid?
Finally, if your celebrity crush is Ryan Gosling, well, that means
nothing. Whose isn't?! I mean, let's face it, dude's just
UPDATE: Someone recently referred to me as a "quick-witted Andy
Dwyer," which I took as a high compliment and, when that was
shared, others agreed without hesitation. So if that sounds like
your thing, I'm your man.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
...you're sick of feeling like you have to act less intelligent
than you are in order to make insecure guys feel comfortable.
...you think that nothing's too serious to joke about and jokes are
meant to be taken seriously.
...you're the second coming of Nellie Bly or Ida B. Wells.
...you're looking for someone to play Catan with (or Carcassonne,
or Dominion, or Pandemic, or Munchkin, or whatever your favorite
...you don't mind that I basically made this whole profile a bunch
...you've read The Ethical Slut and agree with many of the ideas in
there, but get frustrated at how poorly written a book it actually
...related to the above, you have a strong sense of compersion and
you view that as a preferred trait in a match rather than just an
...you think Frank and Claire Underwood actually have a pretty
great marriage (UPDATE: I may be changing my mind after season
...you're a brilliant writer, actor, or artist who wants to
...you're a brilliant writer, actor, or artist in general,
...you obsessively check Sporcle.com before you go to bed.
...you understand that it's possible for me to be both a
cis-gendered male and a sex-positive feminist with no hint of
...you prize silliness as an crucial trait in a potential
...you actually read this whole thing.
...you're awesome. I love people who are awesome.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.