A) Ugh. You're ugly.
B) Ugh. You're ugly but let me sleep on it. Maybe I could take a second look tomorrow. I mean, how much sugar is left in MY bowl, after all? So, it's a "NO" for today, buddy, but...maybe later?
C) Ugh. You're too old--there are only so many Madonna references that I can come up with on a date. Sorry, dude.
D) Ugh. You're too young--there are only so many Skrillex references I can come up with on a date. Sorry, dude.
E) Your photos are ok, but your written profile indicates that you are likely a lunatic. The question now is, are you too insane to date because, you know, aren't we all crazy to some degree anyway? Decisions, decisions.
F) Your photo makes you look attractive, maybe. But, do you have any neo maxi zoom close-ups of your face? The photo you have up now appears to have been taken with a telescopic lens from a sniper rifle from across town and is clearly airbrushed.
G) Your photo makes you look attractive--but I'm guessing it was likely taken 15 years and/or 45 pounds ago.
H) Dude, you are way out of my league.
I) Dude, I can do a hell of a lot better than you.
J) You're perfect for me!
If you've found any of this funny at all, we might be a match. :) Let me know.