Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've pretty much given up on this site, but am back out of a
mixture of curiosity/boredom. Don't send me pictures of your dick,
don't ask for pictures of me, and don't ask me if I do anal or want
to fuck. If you wanna act
like a normal fucking person and talk to me, please go right
I love baseball, particularly San Francisco Giants baseball.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Working and saving up for a car. Feel like driving me somewhere?
But not to a drainage ditch with my eyes cut out and your piss in
my ocular cavities; I'm not that kind of girl!
I go to concerts when I can, and the aforementioned Giants games. I
like dive bars, but not night clubs. I like random adventures as
long as I can be sure I'll still be alive at the end of them. A bad
first date suggestion would be trolling through the woods in the
dead of night. Just in case you were wondering.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
being so sarcastic you can't be sure if I'm really mean or joking.
I think I'm fucking hilarious, and most people seem to agree. I'm
also really good at ignoring you if the game is on. That's what
commercials were invented for!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
"I really like your hair!"
"Who does your tattoos?"
"You must really like the Giants!"
"Do you wear contacts?"
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Oh Jeebus. Let's see:
Books: I read often, and a lot. Two books that come to mind are
Bram Stoker's Dracula and Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet (which is
technically a play, but you can technically kiss my ass; it comes
in book form, you picky asshole), but there are a multitude of
books that rank amongst my favorites. I love Stephen King, Mary
Roach, and Amy Tan-I will read anything new they put out, without
question. I love the concept of LOTR but can't read those books
(Tolkien's writing drives me INSANE), I have read all the Harry
Potter books, and Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey can eat a
Movies: I love horror movies and I hate romantic comedies. We can
talk about movies in person.
Shows: I don't have cable at the moment, so I haven't really spent
any time watching shows. I have been watching Dr. Who on
Music: I really only don't like modern country and most punk.
Everything else is fair game. If you had a gun to my head and told
me to pick a genre I would say 1. I don't think this is working out
between us and 2. Rock.
Food: I like food. It tastes good. Unless it doesn't. Then I don't
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Baseball, coffee, and music. Everything else is debatable.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
incredibly random things, like how black squirrels are the ninjas
of the rodent kingdom and brown squirrels are the chubby lazy video
game nerds. Don't get me wrong; I like nerds. But you have to admit
I have a valid point.
I also spend a great deal of time thinking about things I should be
doing, and then not do it.
I also have been spending some time answering the 'match' questions
here on Cupid, and getting irritated when the little robot pops up
and tells me I need to mark more questions as 'important.' But
really, I don't give a shit what my 'ideal match' thinks about
action movies or art galleries. I can find common ground with just
about anyone, and I embrace my partner's differences.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
At a Giants game, or listening to or watching the Giants game and
wishing I was there. Sometimes I go out and do stuff. Sometimes I'm
hiding in your bushes.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I hate bacon. And Army of Darkness. And The Princess Bride.
If you notice I checked out your profile more than once and didn't
message you, it's because I had to remind myself what it was in
your profile I didn't like about you, or for us as a potential
match. Or I'm waiting for you to blow me away with a cool story or
witty pick up line. "Sup" or "Hi" doesn't quite cut it.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You want to go to a Giants game.
You look like Tim Lincecum. Or Sergio Romo. Or Brandon Belt. Or
Javier Lopez. Hell; just message me if you look like ANY of
Making me laugh will always work better than "Hey baybah."
You should NOT message me if: you are polyamorous and looking for a
girlfriend in conjunction with your current wife/girlfriend (unless
you are interested in me in a platonic capacity only), you are
looking for someone to fuck RIGHT THIS SECOND (I'm looking at you,
Casual Sex seeker!), or if one of your profile pics is a close up
shot of your abs. I am able to overlook some other unmentioned pet
peeves, but those mentioned above are pretty much deal breakers. If
your profile pic isn't a picture of you, or it's a group photo and
I can't tell who the fuck you are, just know that's annoying, and I
probably won't bother messaging you.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.