On another note. I've seen a pattern (a handful really) of bisexual men who have felt the need to create separate profiles for their heterosexual behaviour and one for their homosexual behaviour. I think its sad that there is such a noticeable difference in the way (particularly women believe it or not) react on that basis. One of these guys, upon my first inquiry to the existence of two profiles for that reason, testified to a woman saying she was really glad he hadn't put bisexual on his profile because if he had she wouldn't have bothered. I don't think I want to have to give people ignorance as a blessing to overcome their prejudice; but instead I'll try this friendly reminder to point out that you can't know who I am or what I'm worth by that identification, which I only use here as a form of convenience. I am a person. Sexual orientation is a myth. People like what they like, they fuck what feels good and they love the people that are important to them. The rest is just cultural bullshit.
Its good to be honest: I'm an asshole, but I'm trying to be less of one. It's really only been in this last year that I've realized how selfish I can be. It's my greatest fault, but I'm working on it. Unfortunately it's also tied into some of my favorite aspects about myself.
For instance, I've got drive. When something comes into my focus I can put it in a tunnel vision and give it 100% of my focus. I imagine its some instinctual quality left over from the millenia of my hunting ancestors. I also want to spend more of my life learning to track and hunt. But sometimes you can see this come out in me and my attention will take a shock to my system to bring back to the moment. I'm not fond of that, its not exactly living in the world. It's not a quality I want to do away with, just re-focus.
I've never quite fit the mesh and that doesn't bother me in the least. But sometimes I push people away because of it, and that's not right. I'll change that, though I don't know how yet.
I'm also an amateur astrologist. At a party in Fairbanks, Ak once (this is before I gave any respect to astrology) a girl came up to me with her drink in hand and poked me in the chest and declared, "You're an Aries-Taurus Cusp aren't you? You guys are so frustrating." (I am, which is why it's not filled out in my details. The personality reflected by this cusping is too strong to summarize it as Taurus alone.) And since then I've had the chance to hang out with a lifelong astrologist who has inspired me to take up the art. And it is just that. Its an artistic language study, not a scientific study and I get frustrated when people talk to me about the pseudo-science behind it. I don't do pseudo-science. (Mars-Venus-Moon conjunctions in Pisces very much encouraged to communicate!)
Well lets see here... I'm an Alaskan boy. So the affinity for fresh air and running through the woods and the smell of campfires comes with the territory. Hiking and Kayaking and just being out doing things in the wild are always highlights of life.
Motorcycles. I don't mean those stereo equipped wind shielded couches. Just give me several hundred cc's strapped to wheels, backpack and the open road and I'm as happy as a 12 year old with automatic weaponry. Actually, give me the weaponry too. I'm a second-amendment kinda guy.
As for what I'm looking for? I don't know. I'm not looking for anything; I'm just looking at what there is. (I also remind myself to think like this if I'm looking for my keys or what have you, really chills oneself out.) In my short and young lifetime I've had lovers male and female and various kinds of flings. I don't really like making intimate relationships. I try to let those evolve. (Although I've been known to go up to people I've barely known and declared our newly forged eternal friendship; and been right every time so far.)
I really don't know what to say here. Does anything above give a picture? Oh well, onward ho.