I realized recently that the reason I'm good at this restaurant/social thing, is that after 41 years of interacting with people, I remain blissfully unaware that each new person that I meet might have a bad side. So far it's worked out pretty well for me.
So...me. I could write lots of tasty little things here about myself, but
how accurate is anyone's self image??? Instead, here are some things that I've heard people say to me, , and by people, I do not only mean my mother/best friend/biggest fan....so if these are the things that you would want to say to someone that you might consider writing to...well...write already,
...you're pretty bright!
---you don't drink? But you love hanging out at bars? Weird...
....I don't know where your energy comes from.
....I thought the chorizo tart was amazing! Where did you come up with that..
....might be time to get a haircut..it's starting to look like you're wearing a hat.
....What are you reading this week?
....funk? soul? You have the musical tastes of a 60 yr old black man.
....will you come decorate my apartment?
...a straight guy with a sewing machine?
...you really should quit smoking!
...what kind of restaurant?
....you played music for 10 years? Why not anymore?
Guess what....my name is nick. I was going to come up with some clever name but I imagine that my parents put a lot of thought into picking out this one, so I'll stick with it.
DEALBREAKERS (not you, me). I figure get these out in the open right away.
1. I don't drink. This is a weird thing for a lot of people, but I left it blank for a reason. After working for years for one drunk owner after another, I decided to stop before I opened a joint of my own. I don't go to AA. I ask my friends to "meet up for drinks." I still close down bars sometimes, and I'm completely comfortable surrounded by drunk people and I'm usually having as much fun as they are. The only difference between my new "lifestyle" and my old is what is in the glass in front of me. So put that in your one-hitter and smoke it.
2. I just quit smoking, which means I carry around one of those fake e-smokes. . If you hate that, I'm sorry. One day I will quit completely, but not until after this restaurant is open for a while. In the meantime:
"Smoking is, as far as I'm concerned, the entire point of being an adult. Many people find smoking objectionable. I myself find many--even more--things objectionable. I do not like aftershave lotion, adults who roller-skate, children who speak French, or anyone who is unduly tan. I do not, however, go around enacting legislation and putting up signs.
- Fran Lebowitz
3. I'm not the tallest tool in the shed.
I'm 5'8". That means I'm 5'5" if you have on 3" heels. Thought it was fair for me to do the math. I have dated shorter (obviously), and taller...either way is cool with me, but not to all.
If I email you, a polite, "I don't date teetotalling shorties that smoke" rejection email would be appreciated. Thanks.