.....My dear ol' Granny always told me "Mark, you're a pretty funny guy.....but looks aren't everything".....wonder what she meant by that.....
Things that make you say.....WTF?
Saw a profile today that said..."Looking for a Cowboy".....you do realize this is Indiana, yes? You'd have a better chance finding a one-armed midget clown than a REAL cowboy in Indiana......
In my many searches I have found that a lot of headlines read "Looking for REAL man".... do I look like Pinocchio? As if, by some miracle, hooking up with you will make me a real man? Get it straight, sister, I am more man than you can handle.
A lot of headlines also say "Seeking Honesty".....this is a dating site....a FREE dating site.....on the internet....need I say more?
Lost count at 17 profiles that say..."Can you make me laugh"......have you even READ my profile?...or did you just see my pics and move on....obviously you require more than a laugh or two.....unfortunately, though, my comedy act only applies to dating sites.
It seems that a lot of women are looking for "Romeo"......Not sure if you actually READ the story or just watched the movie with Leonardo DiCaprio....Romeo was a 16 year old boy who killed himself over a 13 year old girl......who needs that kind of drama?
To the women who say "Not a booty call" "respect my mind and NOT my body" "not just sex"....yet half your pics are of you in a short cut bikini, sexy lingerie or a bra........that's false advertisement.
You say you're looking for a sweet man? an honest man? a loyal man?...lol if we were playing Bullsh*t right now...you'd be losing. LOL why not say what you're REALLY looking for? I'll say it for you.....Greek God!! Honesty and loyalty are at the bottom of your want list..
Mary "OMG what happened to your face?"
Jane "Tarzan got pissed cuz I over dried his loin cloth and it shrank...now everyone can see how small he really is.....so he beat me"
Mary "You are my BFF, you need to leave him"
Jane "I know he beats me, but he looks so good doing it"
Stacy "Hey, Beth. You see those guys sitting at the bar?"
Beth "Yes, what about them"
Stacy "The one on the left is a complete gentleman, he opened the door for us when we came in and even winked at me...I sooo wish he were better looking"
Stacy "The guy on the right is a total pig.....the bartender says he leaves with a different girl every night and no one ever hears from them again.....he's hot...imma go get his number"
Beth "oh oh oh....see if he has a friend!!"
Ok...this has to be said....what is with the emails that say "Hi" or "I like your profile" or "How are you tonight?".......I reply....then NOTHING!!!!...LOL was you bored?.
.....damn...I fell asleep typing....what was I saying?
I can cook....and not just mac and cheese.
I can clean......yes...a man who can clean up his own messes
I love yard work....and I DON'T mean digging a hole and calling it a flower bed.....
I love goin to dinner or a movie with someone special
I LOVE to cuddle
I am very affectionate
I like classic rock but will listen to most anything, just not big on rap or country but will tolerate it for you.
I like to take trips to Lake Cumberland in Somerset KY to visit my mother.
I love my dog, Harley....but she thinks EVERYONE loves her...
I have 7 tattoos (All in places I can hide)
I have 3 piercings (1 in each ear 1 in my left eyebrow)
I am very honest.....even if it gets me into trouble
I do not drink or do drugs. If you drink it is not a problem for me as long as it isn't a problem for YOU
I love giving and receiving attention.
I love to surprise that special someone when she least expects it.
I have excellent manners
I can read, write and spell.
I have excellent grammar (I can form full sentences w/o sounding like a rap video)
I love animals
I love kids
DOESNT CHEAT!!!! (I can not stress that enough)
love to give and receive attention
loves the out doors
loves road trips
love to cuddle
doesnt do drugs
drinks on occasion are totally fine as long as you can control it LOL
someone who wants me for ME
And as for my hair....my Rice Crispies told me to do it....so blame them!!
So don't be afraid to say HI...I don't bite...unless you bite me first, in which case I would be forced to defend myself.... :P
Well, if you made it this far, you are either interested......somewhat interested.....you fell asleep....or you are dyslexic and you are reading my profile bottom to top...
If you like what you see so far, send me a message. If you still can't see passed my pics, then I am sorry that I am not rich, have bulging muscles or drive a Ferrari Enzo..... Good luck in your search
**No Fluffy Bunnies or Cuddly Puppies were harmed during the making of this profile**
P.S. This profile will self destruct in 5 seconds.....