MY COMPUTER OFFICIALLY DIED A COUPLE MONTHS AGO- SORRY TO ALL WHO HAVE BEEN MAILING ME, BUT I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO CHECK MY EMAILS! I WASN'T IGNORING YOU :) !

let me save you some time-
i am not here to have cybersex with you. i'm not interested in your penis size or your oral skills. asking me my bra size is not impressive. calling me a name isn't going to make me sorry i didn't talk to you. and being an idiot will get you blocked.
making a sarcastic, witty, or humorous observation is quite welcome.

so now that we understand each other...

5'9, 285. Outgoing, intelligent, perceptive, creative, humorous, nurturing, extremely goal oriented. VERY honest and blunt spoken, easygoing. I enjoy movies, concerts, cooking, writing poetry, sketching, football, museums, traveling, gaming, restaurants, shopping, pretty much anything...

i prefer older men. race is not an issue, but i find myself more attracted to white guys. if you don't like that, i promise you, i truly do not care.

i'm easily bored with the mundane and looking for the extraordinary. what is the extraordinary? that someone who absolutely ignites me from the inside out, sparks that flame and never lets it die out.i need a man who can debate with me in one moment and be holding me the next. The man i'm looking for has to have a STRONG sex drive, a sense of humor, be outspoken, intelligent, confident, spontaneous, romantic- but not mushy, if he cries more than me it's not going to work. Stable, passionate about SOMETHING- apathy is so boring, isn't it? No atheists, agnostics, or scientologists. Single or divorced (completely divorced, not still-wearing-the-ring, when-will-she-love-me-again divorced, thanks.), and serious about what they want.

I thought this would go without saying, but, apparently it does not, so I must add something to an already long-winded summary...
If you are a racist, have racist tendencies, think you might be a racist, or haven't decided either way yet, PLEASE do not mail me. I am not here to help you live out your jungle fever fantasies. If you are looking at this profile for the purpose of experimental sex, do me a huge approbation- turn your penis inside out and fornicate yourself. thank you.

I expect to be treated the way a woman should be. It also means I expect you to be a grown up, even- dare I say it?- a gentleman. I find belching, farting, yelling, and other bad behavior incredibly hilarious at the right times, but in a restaurant during our date is not one of those.

Since some of you may gloss right over the first part, I reiterate: I am 5'9, 285. Yes, I am a big girl, bbw, whatever you want to call it, I just say fat. That isn't for everyone, and if it's not for you, do not waste my time or your own.

how's that for a summary...?

working hard to get to the next step.

everything i set my mind to. and a few other things i am not going to tell you.

my eyes, and smile. my tactless honesty. the way i laugh.

top five movies
1)goodfellas
2)the eye (the real, japanese version, not that ridiculous jessica alba train wreck.) or anything by takashi shimizu.
3)superbad
4)anything by the coen brothers
5)heat
i like j-horror, horror, comedy, drama, suspense, action, anything based on frank miller, docs, anything that isn't a chick flick or a romance.

favorite books
1) the seven last years, carol balizet ( a must-read if you are spiritual, believe in God, or aren't sure if you do or not.)
2) the alchemist, by the river piedra, and anything else by paulo coelho
3) the harry potter series (that's right, i'm willing to admit it.)
4) the art of war, Sun Tzu
5) classic stephen king, the shining in particular.
*anything by margaret george, particularly helen of troy and mary, called magdalene. anything by terry mc millan or eric jerome dickey.

favorite music-
everything from aerosmith, alicia keys, etta james, and evanessence, to johnny cash, tchaikovsky, pink, and lil wayne. if it's good it's good. period.

food-
i love to cook, i love to try new things. in the past month i have eaten octopus, chipotle infused chocolate, and goat. (i recommend everything except the octopus- it was like fish flavored gummy bear.) so i won't even try to list all my faves here. i do have a special love affair with ice cream though.

1)laughter
2)money (so it doesn't buy happiness? when's the last time you saw a homeless person who was happy?)
3)sex
4)my nieces and nephew
5)my right hand (i use it to write and sketch with, you perv, get your mind out the gutter :) )
6)intelligence

*god, but i think that's a given that doesn't need to be listed.

how much absolutely unappreciated beauty there is in the world, theology, politics, money, romance, relationships, what i can do to make the world a little bit better of a place than where i found it.

on a date.
writing.
relaxing.
chatting.

in my effort to keep myself amused with the site, i have decided to update this portion on a regular basis...
so.. most private thing i'm willing to admit today...

i've had a date so awesomely bad that i won a contest for submitting the story of it (thank you, thomas.).
i don't think you're an idiot if you didn't 'get' the watchmen movie. however, i DO think you're an idiot if you thought transformers was better.
scientologists freak me out. sorry, but i think you people are bananas with a side of nuts.
i don't blame it on the dog, but i have blamed it on kids.
i sat through the entire film showgirls... then spent hours in therapy working out the trauma.
i was saved last year.
my stash is probably bigger than yours.
stupidity really makes me angry.
so does willful ignorance.
i like public speaking.
i never close the bathroom door.
i still watch cartoons. i find spongebob quite entertaining. family guy too. but i don't think family guy counts.

you are a smart, outgoing, confident man who has a sense of humor. if you actually read the whole profile. if sarcasm is more than just a hobby for you- it's a lifestyle choice. secure, stable, honest, and looking for more than just a bimbo with open legs.if you are tired of playing games. if you enjoy intelligent conversation, like to explore boundaries. if you aren't afraid to work and still make time to play. if you know what you want and don't hesitate in going after it. intense, adventurous? then yes, you have just met your match.