"... a self-determined man born at sea on a woefully under-equipped ice-breaker making the Northwest Passage during wartime. Who, as a newborn, managed to survive not only the dementia and scurvy gripping the crew, but the constant threat of German u-boats patrolling beneath the ice. Later, a preternaturally gifted child that solved dense, quadratic equations for fun at his progressive, open-air nursery perched on the edge of a vast, Kenyan game reserve. A boy, who by night fended-off hyenas and lions whilst feeding his juvenile insomnia by painting a highly acclaimed series of large scale, abstract portraits for sitting, Balkan royalty (at the time) now housed in the National Gallery of Finland. Who matured to play competitive polo in Argentina and testing Formula One race cars during his summer holidays before attending Cambridge to study physics -- a pursuit, which several published papers and a short book (now considered a key precursor to current breakthroughs in dark matter) later amounted to a joint PhD in boreal forestry and early 12th century Mongol poetry from the University of Inner Siberia. Only to alarmingly, turn to a life of covert industrial espionage for faceless multinational corporations dissecting the pie left behind by the cold war. A lost, vagabond youth that served only to help shift power from governments to Google, and produced but a single, Eurovision song winner in terms of legacy. Later emerging from this morality-free wilderness as an uncredited, yet integral speech writer and strategist for Barack Obama's successful 2008 presidential bid. With a vengeance borne of shame, quickly establishing himself as the world's youngest wind, and solar energy tycoon and a sizable philanthropist that occasionally stands-in on bass for both Radiohead and Al Green's traveling band should they so happen to pass through town."
"While that man I've described is in no way Malcolm by deed nor personal history, it remains nonetheless shocking how some happy kid from the suburbs ended-up just about as interesting."