And now, the digressive attempt to represent myself using only 26 letters and a handful of punctuation marks... It's really a worthless endeavor, you're just going to create this imaginary person in your own mind that may or may not match up with the real me. This could happen in real life anyway, so let's just make our wagers and continue...

I read books like it's my job... well, because it pretty much is my job, aside from writing. The latter of the two usually takes up a month of my time twice a year, and during this time I'm probably not fit for public consumption. This should all be rewritten in the pluperfect.

Ok, I should actually take this seriously for a second... I'm a grad student, studying English (with a focus in Modernism and critical theory... which is basically just continental philosophy, and I'm also into film theory... if this makes no sense this is usually why I just say 'English'), and I've lived in Houston for about a year now.

I like randomness, no, I love randomness! I love the outdoors too, and sleeping in, and staying up late, and crosswords, and Siracha, blueberries, Max Ernst, beer, pistachios, jasmine tea, Ritter Sport dark chocolate with hazelnuts, ice hockey, board games, graffiti, Lagavulin 16 year-old single malt Scotch, Man Ray, reading, sarcasm, the BBC, Brugge (or Bruges, depending on how you want to spell it), Duchamp, Dali, various cheeses, gardening, and surrealism... I'm also an amateur physicist... with a good sense of humor.

P.S. fuck a Myers-Briggs test, or anything remotely Jungian.

Cool, 'cause I don't get upset, I kick a hole in the speaker, pull the plug then I jet....

Trivial Pursuit. I'm a wealth of useless knowledge.

I often get mistaken for other people, this usually happens at least once or twice a month. I tend to swear a lot in casual conversation, and when I wear flannel patterned shirts I look like a lumberjack, which is kind of fitting since I'm from Michigan and the city I grew up in was founded by some lumber barons.

Books: Absolute favorite books are Journey to the End of the Night, and Death on the Installment Plan (both) by Louis-Ferdinand Céline. V for Vendetta, Sin City, 1984, Beckett's Three Novels, The Great Shark Hunt by Hunter S. Thompson, lots of things by Vonnegut, Kafka, Borges, William S. Burroughs, Hemingway... I read a lot of philosophy too...

Movies: Being John Malkovich, The Big Lebowski, The Royal Tenebaums (I can watch this movie over and over again and I see something new every time), Star Wars, The Godfather I and II (never seen III, never want to), Idiocracy, Office Space, Old Boy, Week End, Persona. Directors: Jean-Luc Godard, Ingmar Bergman, Coen bros., Guy Ritchie, David Lynch, Gaspar Noé, Darren Aronofsky, Kubrick, Eisenstein, Gondry, Tarantino...

Shows: Doctor Who, The Daily Show/Colbert, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The Venture Brothers, Metalocalypse, Parks and Rec, Arrested Development, The Wire (Best. Show. Ever.), Deadwood (Next to best show ever), Carnivale (The best show that got cancelled just as it really started to get fucking awesome, not that it wasn't from the first show... I'm still pissed at HBO for canceling it).

Music: Not enough space or time to even begin, but I'll throw out a few: Björk, Pink Floyd, Radiohead, Redman, Arcade Fire, Kool Keith, Deftones, Clutch, A Tribe Called Quest, Björk, anything Max Roach plays the drums on, Kraftwerk, just about anything that's drum and bass (esp. jungle), Björk, Mogwai, Jack White, Robert Johnson, ...And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead, Prince (does anybody want to play a game of basketball?), MJ (before he became a white LaToya), Björk, Grizzly Bear, Jethro Tull, The RZA, The GZA, Raekwon, Ghostface, Method Man, The O.D.B. (R.I.P.), Crystal Castles, Beck...

Food: Thai, Mexican, Indian, Japanese, Italian, Mediterranean, Polish, German, Russian, French, whatever...

Artists: Dali, Max Ernst, Picasso, Man Ray, Marcel Duchamp, Cy Twombly

carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, hydrogen, chlorine, sodium, and probably a few more elements.

cyborg horses.

Usually hanging out with my friends, having a beer or three, and talking shit.

I am not the real Dread Pirate Roberts.

any of this resonates, you appreciate sarcasm, you have a quick wit, you're creative, artsy, slightly misanthropic, cynical (or not), geeky, intellectual, not too full of yourself (but confident enough to know that you're fucking badass)... you are an intellectual seeking another intellectual for intellectual conversations (though not necessarily about intellectual things)... you like random fun, dancing on Saturday night and then Sunday brunch... you like Doctor Who... any or all of these things... don't worry so much about what the percentages say, gut feelings are sometimes more accurate than statistical analyses... seize the day, pull the trigger and watch the rolling heads (shameless Soundgarden reference, in case you didn't know)... but choose your own adventure.