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33 M San Francisco, CA

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 23–37
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Aug 16
6′ 1″ (1.85m)
Body Type
Graduated from masters program
Science / Engineering
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but might want them
Likes dogs and has cats
English (Fluently), Swedish (Okay), French (Poorly), C++ (Okay)

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My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I've been thinking a lot about the following quote lately: "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered".

I'm originally from the bay area, though only recently repatriated after seven years in Europe, and another seven years on the East Coast before that. I've been back for almost two years now, but in many ways I still feel like a stranger in my own land; it oscillates between feeling surreal, humorous, frustrating, and even novel at times.

Ultimately, I'm really happy to have returned. I'd like to think that the cumulative experiences I've had along the way have shaped me for the better, and given me a wider foundation for my own philosophy, world view, sense of ethics and life priorities. At the same time... I never stopped missing California, and now here I am!

But let's take a break from the prose. Here's some fun random trivia about myself:
* I've travelled to maybe 25 countries, on 3 continents, probably half of them backpacking.
* I travel with multiple passports.
* I'm pretty handy at things culinary.
* I have a weakness for great beer and sometimes brew my own.
* Strongly self-identifying feminist.
* I've performed on stage at Carnegie Hall.
* I've partied with POTUS at the White House.

So... what am I looking for here? I think I'm still figuring that out. I'd love to meet the love of my life (who wouldn't?), though I might also have some reservations about jumping straight into a huge commitment (semi-recently out of a LTR). I'm not at all opposed to the notion if it feels like the right thing, but I'm also happy to just make new friends too. And sometimes a good friendship is the foundation for something better -- so, let's just say no round pegs in square holes -- I'm happy to just take things organically, communicate well about our feelings, and see where we go.

In terms of what kind of person I'm hoping to meet... Well, honestly, it's probably 99% raw chemistry. That messy mix of physical and cerebral and pheremonal attraction "IRL"...

But examples of women who I will likely immediately admire: teachers, scientists, writers, engineers, doctors/nurses, activists. Women who aspire to greater things not only for their own career advancement but because they feel a connection with what they do in making a positive impact on others and the world around them.

I'd also hope beyond that initial attraction, we'd share a general sense of reciprocity: desires, expectations, needs, comforts. I'd hope that we'd share some common ground on the things that are respectively important to each of us -- but I also place a high value on being with someone who has a strong sense of individuality, with her own interests and passions in life. That's to say I'd hope there would be things that we'd immediately enjoy about each other, but that we'd also see the potential for growth and exploration, both in the relationship and in ourselves.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
"Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer."

So, I have a great job that I love, and I dare say I'm good at what I do. And perhaps more importantly, I've taken these skills and applied them to something immensely impactful in the lives of others. I will talk your ear off about it if you let me, complete with wide eyes and wild gesticulations that may or may not knock over nearby vessels of water/beer/coffeee. You've been warned. Yet I don't let my career fully define who I am, and I feel that's very important; work-life balance is a huge priority for me.

In the less concrete sense, I'm happy to say that I have great friends who I know I can trust in times of need. Family I love. I'm constantly developing myself, my interpersonal relationships, and general outlook on life, and am very comfortable with the person I've become up to this point. At the same time, I'm doing my best to not become complacent, and to constantly challenge myself by leaving my comfort zones, having new experiences, going new places, and meeting new people.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Playing guitar (I make no claims about my ability to sing, you've been warned). Cooking. Puzzles. Talking, and just as importantly, listening. Any number of things with computers. Backrubs. Trivia. Befriending furry creatures. Orienting myself in the outdoors. Getting lost indoors. Semicolons. Estimating the ABV of what I'm drinking. Run-on sentences (and parenthetical statements, maybe?).

Oh, and I have an exceptional ability to embarrass myself. It's quite a talent, really. If I've messaged you, you probably already know what I mean.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Wild curly hair?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Ah, the unavoidable list of superlatives!

Books: Almost anything by Vonnegut or Stephenson. "The Road" by Cormac McCarthy. "The Kite Runner" and "A Thousand Splendid Suns" by Khaled Hosseini. Recovering from a recent David Sedaris binge. Currently reading: Goedel Escher Bach. On deck: Blood Meridian, And the Mountains Echoed.

Movies: The film adaptation of The Road (mentioned above) was amazingly done. I love a good drama or Sci-Fi (winter's bone, blade runner being examples, respectively). "Foreign films" (quotes implying a certain tongue-in-cheekness labelling them so) too: L'auberge espagnol, La Haine, Kurosawa, Miyazaki, Simon Pegg. Also, I have a horrible weakness for deadpan comedies (Top Secret, Airplane!, Mel Brooks, Monty Python).

Shows: I don't really watch "TV" in the traditional sense. That said, hands down The Wire is the best show ever made. If you wish to argue this with me, I will accept your argument as valid, we all have our opinions, and then I will silently judge you for the error of your ways (I kid. maybe.). Most other series (even the good ones!) seem to lose my attention after a season or two... I don't know, it's as if regardless of the genre, after a couple seasons they always seem to devolve into a mire of dysfunctional interpersonal relationships -- be it in a world of ad executives, zombies, or cylons. But I digress. I try to keep up with Colbert/Stewart as much as possible at least.

Music: Quite diverse, really goes with my mood. Angrier times, Tool/APC, NiN, etc. If I'm feeling down, Jose Gonzalez/Junip, Coco Rosie, Iron & Wine. Introspective: Sigur Ros. Chilling out: João Gilberto, Amon Tobin. Happy: Manu Chao. Really fond of quite a few genres though. Trip hop, Mongolian throat singing, Balinese gamelan, Malinese blues, the list goes on...

Food: If I could only eat one cuisine for the rest of my life, it would be Indian, no question. I even learned to cook a number of my favorite dishes.

Games (of video): League of Legends has been my latest vice, but if I were to think of games in terms of lasting impressions they've made on me: Red Dead Redemption, The Last of Us, Heavy Rain, Tetris, Mortal Kombat (I/II), Final Fantasy I-VI, Mario Kart, Katamari Damacy.

Games (of other): Cribbage, Poker, Catan, Carcassonne, Risk, Chess. I played Pandemic for the first time with some friends and suddenly it was 3AM. I want someone to introduce me to Cards Against Humanity.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
My grandfather's guitar, laughter, hugs, my cats (there are two of them but I'm counting it as one, so nyeh), friendship, family.

Oh! and coffee. Seven you say? I'll have to think about it for a bit...
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
What I'm doing with my life. Am I living well? Am I a good human being? Does it feel like I'm making the right choices? Am I happy where I am? What (and who) is most important to me? Basically, efforts to avoid an "unexamined life" in the Socratic sense.

And more recently, how to reconcile the dichotomy of interests in my life: being a "tech worker" living in SF, yet opposing many of the resulting macro/micro effects of gentrification; being a world traveler, yet aware of the resulting ecological and socioeconomic footprint that leaves behind; wanting to narrow so many of the gender/race/class/income divides in our society yet having benefited from each of them myself at some point in my life; enjoying the new-found independence of being single, yet desperately missing the companionship and intimacy of a serious relationship.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Maybe beer and food in the Mission or Loin. Maybe at home watching a movie or gaming with friends. Maybe catching a live show. Maybe out visiting my East Bay or South Bay friends. Maybe hanging out with you?

Really though, I'd say I'm more of a Saturday afternoon kinda guy: an urban hike through Twin Peaks / Sutro followed by dim-sum paired with belgian beer at my fav Szechuan place; a bike ride out over GG bridge, with a stop for coffee and maple-glazed bacon (or insert vegetarian friendly option here) donuts; or grabbing a couple beers and the guitar and enjoying the view from Corona Heights. Or doing something entirely new.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I get really cranky when I'm hungry, and weepy when I'm tired; the right book or song will reliably make me cry.

Oh. And I have conversations with my cats. Sometimes in English. Sometimes in Swedish. Sometimes in Cat. They're great conversationalists.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
you are a genuinely awesome person.
you need another team member for a pub quiz, or want to hang out with me and my friends for one.
you want to trade songs on the guitar, or can sing, or maybe play another instrument.
you need a good lane partner in LoL.
you think we could each learn something from one another.
you think it'd be fun to grab a beer and shoot some pool.
you want to explore some new hiking trails.
you want to see a live show somewhere.
you want to learn a programming language, or hack on a project together.
you think being called a nerd or geek is a compliment, not a pejorative.
you're curious to do so.
you're braver than I am :)