For you discerning women, here is a short list of facts and ideas from the most amazing man you'll ever meet, ME:
1. I am the best thing to come to online dating since you discovered how to take pictures of yourself at an "angle"
2. You say you like to cuddle? It's not enough to enjoy it--I compete. I was 2007-9 interstate cuddling champion, google it.
3. This is kind of a big deal but I've been voted to have the 7th best hair on facebook, check the records.
4. You say Chivalry is dead? Well even though you women killed it--I'm bringing it back. None of that holding the door or giving you my umbrella nonsense. I'm talking real chivalry. You'll be a bonnet wearing, illiterate, no voting, chained to the stove with a heavy weight--actual woman.
5. While studying in Japan I developed an affinity for Japanese. If you speak it, I will give 3 points upgrade on your Hotness scale. You're a 6? Now you're a 9! Not a bad deal, if you ask me. (Will work out a similar scale for Russian speakers)
6. I like everything HOT: hot dogs, hot tubs, hot peppers, Hot Wheels, walking on hot coals, hot chocolate, hot springs, anything hot off the grill or press, salsa, chilis, wasabi, the weather, whatevah. Yeah, you know EXACTLY where I'm going with this.
7. Can I hold an intelligent conversation? Fuggetaboutit
8. Am I just trying to get into your pants? No. Actually, I'm trying to get you out of them
9. Unlike these other idiots, I know how to use spell checker, you should too.
10. I'm a highly successful online dater, which I believe is the epitome of human accomplishment.
11. My only fault is that I have none. You, too, should be perfect in every way.
There’s 10+1 for you skeptics. Which makes 11, my favorite number.
But hey, don't take my word for it here's a section from the fans
Testimonials in my inbox from girls just like you who have messaged me:
"You seem like the kind of guy who gets away with way too much"
"Everyone can tell you're a complete...nice...guy" ;)