New!   Incognito Mode. Now you can hand-select who sees you on OkCupid. That means total control of your visibility.

Find better matches with our advanced
matching system

—% Match
—% Enemy


29 Portland, OR Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 25–32
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Today – 7:19pm
5′ 10″ (1.78m)
Body type
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Gemini, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from masters program
Mostly monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Has cats
English (Fluently)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I have a lot on my plate right now. I tend to throw myself into whatever I'm interested in and really get my hands dirty. This is great because my life is full of many wonderful things. This is terrible because I'm exhausted all the time, under a constant time crunch, and am always but a stone's throw away from losing my mind. I consider myself a feminist and an advocate for responsible masculinity.

Right now this means full time work, full time grad school, and various involving pastimes that I care about because they bring a lot of meaning into my life (or is it the other way around, maybe?).

I find myself in kind of a curious spot. Right now I am interested in developing some deep and personal connections. Though I am strapped for time and energy, I feel that I am more available for closer relationships. My approach to dating has changed recently, and I am feeling ready for the next chapter.

A lot of people say this, but I really value honesty, sincerity, and respect of boundaries. I don't think a meaningful relationship of any kind is even possible without those things. Having an honest, sincere, and completely real conversation will make my day, every time.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I am juggling multiple gigs, and I'm not totally sure which one I prefer to identify with.

I'm a graduate student in technical writing. It's going very well. I am just starting a new job that fits somewhere between IT and customer relations. I'm very excited in many ways. I'm a community organizer, mostly for geeky stuff. It's been very rewarding, and I've met a lot of great people. I also teach music, but that's a smaller part of my life these days. I am still very musically oriented, though.

One more thing! I've spent much of the last few years doing social work. This has greatly affected my world view. Especially the domestic violence intervention work I was doing a while back. That one sticks with me.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
I try to be observant, both by being aware of my surroundings, and by paying attention. Also, twisting ideas around in my brain. People say I'm good at these anyway!
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I've been told I have nice teeth?
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Gene Wolfe, Sun Cycle saga (the Book of the New Sun, the Book of the Long sun and the Book of the Short Sun). Ursula K LeGuin's, The Left Hand of Darkness. Charles Yu, How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe. Iain Banks, Culture series (currently reading, kind of).

Confession: I actually don't watch a lot of movies. Excuse: I had a vision condition for a long while that made movies hard. But. Kubrick. Gaspar Noe. Pretty much anything with big thoughts or big feelings.

Carnivale. True Detective. Twin Peaks. Battlestar Galactica (the new series). Caprica. Game of Thrones. Mad Men. The Wire. Breaking Bad. The Killing. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Orange is the New Black. Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex (I don't watch a lot of anime, but woah).

Post rock, prog rock, orchestral, and experimental, apparently. Messiaen. Shostakovich. Mahler. Part. Pink Floyd. Peter Gabriel. Sigur Ros.

Sushi. Indian. Thai. Food carts. Anything but mayonnaise.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Putting things in my brain.
My community.
My cat, Harold.
A water bottle.
Getting out of town as often as possible.
Delicious dark beer and scotch.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Am I really too damn sensitive?
Is that even a thing?
Do I really have a choice about how badly something bothers me?
Where did the feeling go?
Would I really give up pretty much anything to go to space?
Why didn't I make that happen, then?
Why don't I go to bed sooner?
Who will check out some caves with me?
Why don't they understand how they are contributing to problematic social dynamics?
Those times when somebody nods along with feminist thought/social consciousness thing/and so on, but then is harshly critical of any action in service of those values.
And, seriously?
And, if being an ally is this tough at times, being the real deal must be even more tough.
Probably by a lot.
Am I really going to use this degree?
It is all just a guessing game?
Golly, the culture behind widespread cannibalism is interesting.
How many people are going to think that's weird?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
I almost always have friends over, and we almost always open some top shelf bottles of beer/liquor, while watching movies (the worse they are the better) or doing geeky things (usually story games).

Also, talking the night away.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I sing to my cat. Badly (awesomely).
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
I am most interested in having substantial conversations. I'm not into idle chat. I mean, I'd prefer to have a robust conversation. A lot of attractions begin and grow during conversations for me.

I'm not looking for somebody to share every aspect of my life with, though strong overlap would be great. I would have a lot of fun with somebody who likes to try lots of different beers, or who likes to get out of the city and into nature. I get along very well with geeky people.

I am looking for a deep and meaningful connection. I am looking for somebody to be kinda weird with, sometimes. I am looking for somebody to be light and free with. I am looking for somebody to be strong for, and to be weak with.

Maybe I'm no fun, but I like first dates to be fairly casual, and to plan more exciting second dates. I sure hope that doesn't make me weird or boring! I just really need a good honest conversation, and perhaps too much activity impedes that a little bit? I dunno, what do you think?

I think I'm learning that it will just take a couple of dates/meets to know if a thing is going anywhere. That's how it seems lately, anyway.