okay. i don't want to be bitter. i like being a fairly happy person. but, please. don't waste my fucking time! cause i'm not planning on wasting yours. thanks!
*****
i keep editing this recently, cause i keep not really getting it right. i don't want to give the wrong impression.. it's really important to me to try to be as upfront and honest as i'm able, and i expect that anyone who has an interest in me would present themselves the same way. i'd like to find a guy that i'm attracted to - call me anything you'd like but this is most important to me right now. i can get along well with a lot of different people, but i really need someone who excites me. and yes of course, again, i would like anyone i was seeing, to feel the same way about me. (would someone really bother to write me, if they didn't find me attractive? probably not. and so nor will i reply, to a msg sent to me, if i don't feel attracted to the photos of the sender. fair?)

i am looking for someone to spend time with and, if things went well full-on DATE.. meaning, at a certain point, if we really like each other, i would expect monogamy and accountability and all these things. i guess ultimately my goal is a boyfriend, but right now i have no problem just hanging out. like, let's go for a drive to somewhere pretty (in your car, cause i don't do that shit), and sing along to every song that comes on the radio. let's hold hands. let's spend all day in bed. let's take pictures of each other dressed in each other's clothes. let's go to jack in the box after getting crazy drunk and laughing too much and smoking way too many cigarettes.

i think i'm a pretty good time. i think you might too. i'm caustic and hilarious, and i enjoy talking/thinking/writing.. seeking same. also musicians really turn me on but wouldn't most girls say that? i'm gaining new respect for bikers.. and by respect i mean, i'm noticing more and more that there are some seriously hot dudes on bikes in this town.

i exist on good music, HBO, books & magazines (but not really newspapers, besides the merc), marijuana, my cats, my gays, sarcasm.. shit to fill up my days with. i love compliments and sexy teeth.

i don't go for infidelity (as in, repeat offenders, or any relationship where one party is not aware or okay w/the other party's indiscretions), unbridled jingoism, college drunks, homophobes and fuckin haters, freezing weather (goodbye thieveland) or macrobiotics. also, no thanks to boys who can't just spit it the fuck out. say what you mean, mean what you say, be nice to your mother, etc. doesn't everybody already know this shit?

my last name is not tremain, but okcupid thinks it is. let it think that.

this is now "about" 500 words. awesome, or awful??

i have been living in portland for almost 4yrs. i'm a midwest transplant and really have more of an east coast sensibility, but i'm very happy here in the ol' pacific northwest right now. i work a full time desk job for OHSU, and i am lucky it pays as well as it does, and is as secure as it is. however in the next year or two i'd really like to go back to school. i dropped out of high school, got my GED at 16 & have been working full time since i was 17.. and as more time goes on, i really feel the need to LEARN again, as cheesy as that sounds. i feel very curious and i want to understand everything i can.

making a rockin playlist (i had to change this from "mix cd" bcuz the kids don't do that anymore.. i've had this profile way too long).. creating magazine cut-out collages.. giving hickies or advice.. writing letters.. feigning interest.. crossword puzzles

i'm short and stacked.

(A) way too many to list, but a few favorites include: watchmen (yeah the movie? teh suck); "special topics in calamity physics" - marisha pessl; "the dogs of babel" - carolyn parkhurst; "house of sand and fog" - andre dubus III; "like the red panda" - andrea seigel; "invisible monsters" - chuck palahniuk; "the girl in the flammable skirt" - aimee bender; "foxfire" - joyce carol oates; "after you'd gone" - maggie o'farrell; "paint it black" - janet fitch. i love debut novels and ADORE "children's" books... to kill a mockingbird is my favorite... the chronic(what?)cles of narnia.. etc.

(B) i like lots of movies.. i don't like thinking of ones to name.... a random sampling: wet hot american summer; shaun of the dead; big lebowski; anchorman; donnie darko; jaws; harold and maude; adaptation; i heart huckabees

(C) i am crazy about the 70s.. love dr. dog.. also queens of the stone age..the helio sequence..arcade fire..beck..RATATAT..santogold..queen..ELO..misfits..beatles..franz fedinand..cat stevens..wu-tang.. beastie boys..michael jackson to name a few

(d) falaffel and seafood rule.. thai food and indian food as well.. it's not technically food but I LOVE BEER

a friend.. some music to listen to.. my 2 cats.. determination.. common sense

men. sex. car accidents.

this question used to be who would you swap brains with.

and to clarify, since i've been asked, no, i don't sit in my room and think about car accidents. but i do, when i'm in a car. which is often enough, though i myself don't drive or own one.

if i'm at home, i'm most likely chillin out watching some tube or listening to k-hits 1067 and reading books or magazines (i'm a periodical junkie). if i'm with friends we're maybe creating stuff or having a dance party but more often there's beer drinkin', pot smokin' and hell raisin'.. we might see a movie, or go out to eat, or to the bar.. i mean, you people know what goes on, don't you? jesus, why should i explain?

this summer i been doin a lot of backyard hangin out.. playing cards and being way too loud.

i'd rather be naked.

... sometimes the okstalkers feature creeps me out because so few of those people actually email you. but i guess it's fair since i too view more profiles than i actually send msgs. (do you love that they changed it from stalkers? and now it's "visitors" ? does anyone really feel any better about it???)

and.. yes. i'm sick of bad luck. i'm sick of bad dates. be upfront with what you want - i just might give it to you. also, be nice! i promise to do the same.

.. you want to message me.

.. you want some lady action. if you're into chubby girls with big boobs who like to smoke dope, french kiss, and go to the movies. PS. for more than a year now i've really been working on eating well & trying to be active, i lost a lot of weight which was great.. but i guess i just want to be clear to anyone interested that i'm still curvy & petite, not a size 2, and i'd really like to be with someone who's in decent shape... at least healthy. (ish.)

.. you're super hot and super hung. *cough. just sayin.