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34 Green Bay, WI Man, Non-binary, Gender Nonconforming

Man, Non-binary, Gender Nonconforming

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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 23-42
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
Heteroflexible, Pansexual
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous
5' 10" (1.78m)
Body Type
Agnosticism and laughing about it
Dropped out of Space camp
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently), French (Somewhat), Other (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
QUICKMATCH NOTICE: My profile name is abitofwit.

PRIMARY PICTURE DISCLAIMER: Yes, it's shirtless. If you're going to judge me based solely on that it's your loss. I not only have an expansive mindscape but I also put in effort at the gym and am proud to be in shape; while the most important aspects of a person certainly lie outside the realm of physical attractiveness, people who are reluctant to acknowledge the beauty of the human form or the importance it plays in partner selection are being disingenuous, prudish, or have body-image issues. I've gotten more unique contacts in a few days after uploading it than in the entire five years before, so to the few people for whom it's a dealbreaker... oh well. You weren't messaging me anyway. Also, I'm aware it's a poorly-balanced thumbnail - it drives the photography-buff part of me insane. And the rest of me finds that amusing.

Moving on...

I am the ghost of a swarm of bees which is haunting a robot that has systematically replaced all of its inorganic parts with meat equivalents. While you're trying to decide whether that's some kind of irreverent joke, a metaphor, or perhaps literal fact I hope you're not dissuaded from exploring the rest of my profile. I encourage you to read my questions/answers or to strike up a conversation with me if you're actually interested in knowing more. Or, if you want clarification on something... I have been known to employ sarcasm and sincerity in a confusing manner which can lead to some REALLY SUPER FUN misunderstandings! I'm a jack-of-all-trades kind of guy so an adequate summary is difficult - it's either a novel or bullet points. I'm intense, chill, adventurous, independent, frugal, creative... and many MORE notable aspects... all rolled into one prodigiously protean package.

I have an omnipermeating sense of humor and someone who can make me laugh when I'm upset - and who likes to laugh when THEY are upset as well - is someone I am dying to meet. I am superbly fun-loving but I don't play games with others' feelings. Nor do I respond well to people attempting it - I have a defiant streak which swells in response to emotional manipulation... although there are some notable exceptions. I care VERY deeply about those close to me and believe the ultimate sign of respect is complete honesty.

Despite being pansexual I love pots, woks, and other cookware as well. My gender/sex is solidly on the male side of the spectrum, though I don't subscribe to the idea of a gender binary and tend to think of myself more as 8.5/10 male. I'm about a 2.5 on the Kinsey scale, if that's your measure.

(For those unfamiliar, pansexual means that I find personality to be the most attractive thing about a person)
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Looking forward to the punchline. I feel that life is a joke you don't "get" until the end. That's not to say that living isn't serious business; I just feel it important to have a healthy sense of humor when it comes to existence. Might as well enjoy the ride, right?

Awaiting the inspiration to write my next novel.

Taking time to wander now and again.

Embodying the traits I would like to see more of in the world.

Preparing for Halloween antics.

Sticking it to the man in ways which ultimately inconvenience myself but I nevertheless feel are worth it. NO, I WILL NOT SEND YOU RANDOMIZED USAGE DATA TO IMPROVE MY EXPERIENCE.

I have learned how to adjust my perspective in regards to assigning value to things and have found that a major "goal" of my life is to have money play only as much a part as is needed. Monetary wealth is good in the sense that it can provide for needs, but I believe that over-reliance on any system creates a form of dependency and people who "can't afford" their own time until they're in their 60s are missing out on a vital aspect of life. Should a human being not be able to live without participation in an imaginary value system? ESPECIALLY one which is designed to work against people who aren't at the tippy-top of the game? Some years back I decided my time is worth more than money and that it is important to me to have meaningful things rather than many things. I am more than stable in my low income lifestyle and philosophy, and have enough savings to cover emergencies, but if it's important for you to be with someone whose ambition revolves around amassing obscene material wealth I'm not your type.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Adaptability. Kissing. Out-thinking myself frequently and occasionally others as well. Creating quips which I often feel aren't noticed - especially written ones. Debatable use of punctuation marks. Being chill and emotionally mature. Disagreeing without getting upset or mean. Keeping an open mind. Making a very partial list of interests and jamming it into a section where there isn't much else.

chess, writing, cycling, cooking, rafting, camping, skiing, skiboarding, outdoors, technology, adventure, hygiene, fishing, hiking, humor, independence, LFA, activities, mischief, geekery, cribbage, gaming, sports, design, DIY, repair, science, philosophy, physical fitness, sustainability, fire, swimming, wit, badminton, kink
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
My presence.

Okay, editing this after all these years to say "COME ON that is the most technically correct answer possible." How has this alone not tripped a million nerdhumor triggers? Maybe I don't match as well with people as I think...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: Illusions, A Farewell to Arms, Call of the Wild, Of Mice and Men, The Beak of the Finch, Hatchet, The Iron Giant

Movies: Fight Club, In July, Ravenous, Princess Mononoke, Her, Enter the Void, Akira, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Gattaca, The Man Who Saved the World

Shows: Archer, Wilfred, Broad City, The Walking Dead, Better Call Saul, Falling Skies, Legit, Utopia (UK), MST3K, Nova, Space Ghost: C2C, Black Jesus, Adventure Time, Off the Air, Too Many Cooks, Bored to Death

Music: Classical, Alternative, Punk, Reggae, Folk, Rock, Jazz, Metal, Comedy, Grunge, Electronica, Experimental, Hmong traditional... Too wide a range to cover adequately - I have over 300 different artists in my playlist, and that's AFTER losing 90% of my music library in a divorce. I'm a fan of pretty much anything NOT country, although pop music seems to have a sparse degree of appeal. You should ASK ME what my favorite music is currently if you REALLY want to know.

Foods: Ice cream, anything with garlic and/or mushrooms, and well balanced meals are at the top of my list. I dare say that I can appreciate any flavor, but some foods possess a mouthfeel I'm not fond of when combined with the specific taste. Squash, bologna, and sour cream are all good examples of this. I absolutely LOVE to cook and am one of the few people I know who doesn't turn peppers into disgusting mush when I apply heat to them.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Occasional solitude

The first and last ones are ridiculously difficult to achieve in tandem. Why do sooooo many people not appreciate time apart?
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
A myriad of existential conundrums...

What has more value; the life of a kitten or an ant? If you were forced to choose to crush one, which would you choose? Probably the ant... but how many ants would equal the life of the one kitten? What if the ants were in fact just ant-sized kittens?

How to organize chaos and disrupt ordered things; flux and change itself. And how that relates to implications of what's "important" in light of the fact that existence itself for all things is only a temporary state.

Hacking - especially reality - and the nature of perception as it relates to impacting the external world. To a lesser degree, the opposite as well.

How to best communicate very complex notions without losing too much in translation.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Hitting the gym. Cooking something awesome. Horsing around on the internets (probably on this site, in fact). Brushing my teeth. Going to bed. Turning off the lights and staring into the blackness, wondering if I've already lived the happiest moments of my life. Staying awake until Saturday morning.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am amused by the irony that this has become the largest part of my profile.

I have a poor TMI filter sometimes. This applies to content both in specific and general senses... I'm honest even when it's contrary to my interests, though I certainly understand the value of being cordial and polite. I also understand not to share personal information of others, so don't think for a second that I'm going to dish out someone's secrets.

I'm a pessimist, but I like to logically twist that outlook in such a way as to result in "terminal optimism" - hence my unusual sense of humor. I draw inspiration from my awareness of both good and bad and prefer to rise to the challenges adversity presents. I believe that all energy - positive AND negative - can be harnessed and put to good use. I'm an enthusiastic cynic; a perpetual motion machine powered by a black hole. Few truly understand, but the summary is that my grim worldview results in a very jovial and upbeat attitude. Examples include, "Hooray! We're all going to die so none of us has to put up with horrible shit forever!" and "Hooray! There is no afterlife, so I am free to do as I please without any permanent consequence or impact on the universe!" These lead to, "Hooray! I know I am a person who does good in the world of my own volition, and not merely because I fear consequences or desire validation!"

Religious people don't always get along with me, but I definitely get along with them. I respect very much the ability to believe in something so strongly. Reality is the set of beliefs you hold most dear, and people who control their reality rather than merely being controlled by it have an inner power that precious few are able to gain awareness of or recognize, let alone develop proper control or mastery over. Not saying everything everyone believes should be equally valid... moreso that everyone's beliefs should be recognized as equally biased. Yep, even mine.

I used to view the concept of internet dating with high hopes of finding a monogamous LTR with that perfect someone. I even used to follow supposed guides on how to make my profile more appealing. I have met some great people and had a lot of fun. I have even changed my ideas about interpersonal relations quite a bit and am more open to nontraditional arrangements. I really put my all into relationships but I have learned that I tend to pursue people who aren't "good" for me, and the harder I seek the less likely I am to find what I'm looking for. Thus, I am taking a more passive approach in hopes that my match will find ME. Who says romance is dead?... I'm just a treasure hoping for a hunter.

I worry that having written too much in my profile will intimidate people and I occasionally "clean sweep" the whole thing, starting over with just a few sentences in each section. The corresponding influx of messages generally confirms my belief, but I nevertheless continually add stuff. I'm soooo much more than a pretty face.

Despite the verbose nature of my profile I'm kind of shy in person. Well, maybe not shy... I just feel socially awkward and like I can't relate to strangers, so I tend not to initiate conversations. This personality trait tends to disappear when I'm comfortable with someone and if they're more socially engaging it leads to me being more outgoing in general, but more often than not I unintentionally give the impression that I'm not interested during a first date. If I wasn't interested, there wouldn't have been a date in the first place.

I have a fetish for indulging a partner's fetishes. Even if it's something I am not innately turned on by, it turns me on to know my partner enjoys it and I will strive to do my best at it. Been down some very interesting paths as a result, and I look forward to going down some more. Being bitten and having my ears played with are also HUGE turn-ons to the point of being fetishes.

The "me" that's privately shared with a romantic partner is possessed of a softer sort of energy, and I tend to gravitate toward more of a beta/support/"little spoon" role over time. I am alpha outside of that context, though.

I absolutely _LOVE_ the scent of ferrets despite understanding that they're considered "stinky." It's not like I have any kind of weird odor fixation otherwise, but for some reason that smell is just ridiculously appealing to me and I want it to live in my brain forever.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You're interested in the human equivalent of an interrobang... or want to discuss the finer points of ?! vs. !?

You've got a sense of humor, a sense of adventure, and enough common sense not to go stumbling blindly into traffic.

Particular articulations coax compelling correspondence.

You will teach me how to music. I can't read it or play it, but I love it and feel drawn toward making sounds in time. I fancy myself a singer but am loathe to perform in front of others aside from the extremely rare drunken karaoke episode. I know I have musical ability inside me, I just need help bringing it out.

You're a strong person. This doesn't mean you have to be a body builder, emotionally cold, or have a "power player career." It means that if you're bothered by something you address the situation. If you don't understand something you'll seek clarification. You keep your cool under pressure, can take it as well as you dish it out, and don't feel you perpetually need someone to save you from life. I love to communicate with a smart, confident, capable woman who is her own person and not simply a product of media influence who strives to be a Disney princess.

You're familiar with BDSM/kink and want to communicate about it. Or maybe do more than that... but definitely correspond about it prior. Bonus points if you've managed to read my profile close enough to glean a general idea of my inclinations.