Supposedly, you find something when you're least looking for it. Well, I suppose, then, this is self-defeating.

I was born by the river, in a little tent. Oh, and just like the river, I've been running ever since.

I grew up in rural western Pennsylvania, about 40 miles north of Pittsburgh, an area where the land is rich with cows, corn, and Christianity. I've never raised cattle or grown corn, nor have I ever identified as Christian. I eat beef. I'm not against carbs. And I believe there is a fine line between religion and insanity. My hometown has dubbed itself "A great place to live." Case in point.

Like many, after high school, I left. I attended and graduated from college in Washington, D.C., and promptly moved to New York City, which, I've decided after ten years here, is truly a great place to live.

At 32, I have a boyish face. I'm pretty happy when most people guess I'm 24. I'm told my intellectual age is much older. I believe my social age is much younger. OK Cupid seems to think I'm "more old fashioned." I tend to disagree.

I manage one of the highest profile restaurants in New York City. My work environment is high stress, and, at times, overwhelming. The hours are long. The work week, unconventional. Some days, I feel like a glorified bus boy. Other days, I feel like a professional fire fighter. Most days, I feel like I'm on top of the world.

saying the wrong thing at exactly the right time...and using elipses.

In order...my eyes, my nose, my hands, my feet, my crotch.

Food. Water. Shelter. Great friends. Laughter. Integrity.

hard at work. The nature of what I do for a living is that my weekends don't occur when most other people have their weekends. Tuesday is my Saturday. And on my Saturday, like many others, I tend to sleep in. 4 o'clock, is my noon. My regular bedtime sometime between 2 and 4AM.

So on my Friday, which is Monday, I might go out after work for a couple of rounds, though at that point, most others have already gone to bed, resting in preparation for their relatively "normal" day 2 of their relatively "normal" nine to five. By the time I retire for the night, I'm resting for a relatively "normal" Saturday night on the town.

you dare...