With that being said, I obviously have way too much going for me. I have a job, I have a vehicle and I don't live in my parents basement and call them my roommates. So lately I've been considering quitting my job, selling my truck, and picking up a drug or alcohol addiction. Maybe even spend a little time in the slammer. I feel like I would have a much easier time of finding dates then. Until then I guess I will stick with okcupid.
Well I have been on here long enough and read enough profiles that I can pretty much sum them all up. So here is my commentary on your profiles.
"OMG I can't believe I'm doing this/ Never thought I'd be on here" Which basically means. "I'm still not sure why my life hasn't turned out like a romantic comedy"
Well you know what It's 2014. Who cares how you met. Get over it. If you find the right person for you it won't matter because you wouldn't have met them otherwise.
"I'm over the whole bar scene" In other words "I'm sick of getting hit on by drunk guys only looking for that night" Hmm I have no idea why a relationship started by two people who aren't acting like themselves wouldn't work.
"I love my family and friends" Well Duh. That's a completely vanilla statement that is nothing more than a space filler. We all love our family and friends. That's why they are our family and friends. Show me a woman who says "I hate my family and all my friends are A-holes." I bet she's going to have some pretty interesting stories.
"I need someone who is honest, trust worthy and is good at communicating" implying "The D-bags I usually date are always cheating on me and I can't figure out why" Maybe you should stop dating the D-bags.
"I like going out to have a few drinks or staying home and watching a movie on the couch" loosely stating "As long as we don't go participate in any pagan rituals, I'm good"
So for those of you have a cookie cutter, boiler plate profile involving some of the aforementioned statements, You will probably receive a rather standard mass email. You may want an extremely personal email showing you we read your profile. Unfortunately when it says the same thing as everyone else's it's rather difficult to come up with anything besides "you have pretty eyes".
Alright a couple more things.
Cat pictures.... Having a picture with your cat is one things, having just a picture of your cat on your profile screams crazy cat lady. I know you may love you cat but I'm trying to date you not your cat. More than likely if I get to the point of actually meeting your cat I'm going to accept it. But lets leave that bridge to be crossed all in good time.
If you are 5'0" tall and you are only looking for someone over 6'0". You are looking up to most people anyways. That should be good enough.
If you are on here looking for Channing Tatum you might as well get a cardboard cut out. I bet that has a more interesting personality.
If you are going to send me a message simply saying "Hey how's it going?" Or "You have a nice smile." Don't bother. That doesn't get my attention and I know I have a nice smile. I see it every morning in the mirror.
So now a little about me. I'm a guy. I like guy things. I like action movies, comedy, meat and potatoes. I love football. I play video games, hey I'm always up for something fun and more exciting but every so often a guy needs to have some Peter Pan time and go to Never Never Land.
Just a little hint of what I'm looking for. I want someone who is pretty laid back and up for anything. If you like getting all dolled up every weekend and going to a fancy martini bar we aren't going to be a good match. I will admit I'm very particular about things in my life. As far as what I drive, the shoes I wear, the things I eat, etc. So why wouldn't I be in my dating life too? I want someone who I look at from across the room and feel the electricity and be able to say to myself yes she's with me. Unfortunately there are going to be quite a few of you who won't make the cut. With that being said, I'm not really into bigger women. There are guys out there who are. I just don't happen to be one. I do like a girl with some curves as long as they are the right ones. Hopefully this helps narrow things down to find the right person for me.
Well if you like what I wrote and thought it was funny or thought provoking I'd love to hear from you. If you were offended by anything I said you might as well keep looking. We probably wouldn't get a long anyways.
Oh and by the way... a lot of my friends are A-holes. I can't help but love them though.