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actualcatmom

25 Victoria, British Columbia, CA Woman

Woman

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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 23–30
  • Near me
  • For new friends, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 9:59am
Orientation
Queer
Ethnicity
White
Height
6′ 0″ (1.84m)
Body Type
Thin
Diet
Strictly other
Smokes
When drinking
Drinks
Often
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Other, and laughing about it
Sign
Leo, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Working on university
Job
Management
Income
Rather not say
Status
Seeing Someone
Type
Mostly non-monogamous
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), French (Fluently), Swedish (Okay), Ukrainian (Poorly)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I actually hate that I have to write this but here goes: I will not Skype with you. You're not special or neat enough that I want to watch you handle your genitals over the internet. Don't ask me. Don't even entertain the notion of asking me. Your dick is boring and my time is more valuable than your pleasure.

I'm not very nice but if I like you I'll try. I am the queen of snark. I'm married to my job.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
I left the island for the wasteland of Alberta and then came back but upgraded from Nanaimo to Victoria. I divide my time between work, my two cats, and the beach.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
selfies, makeup, casual use of absurdly large words
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm extremely tall and my hair looks like a cloud.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books: A Song of Ice and Fire series, The Wind Up Bird Chronicle, The Hour I First Believed, A Visit From the Goon Squad, I read about a book a week (pretentious!) so I can't list even a fraction here but those are the ones that stuck with me for a long time.

Shows: Arrested Development, Venture Bros, Breaking Bad, Gossip Girl, Ru Paul's Drag Race, Hannibal, The Wire, Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Music: Neutral Milk Hotel, Mogwai, Sleigh Bells, A$AP Rocky, The Weeknd, Arcade Fire, Amanda Palmer, Purity Ring, Beyonce, Grimes, Queens of the Stone Age, The Knife, The Pixies, dang I better stop this list here.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
the zeroes in my bank account
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
the short stories I'm definitely not going to put off writing
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
making out
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
if you're taller than me I'll probably sleep with you
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
how about, you should never message me if:
you go on reddit ever
you believe the friendzone exists
you think misandry is real

I'm leaving this here because a screenshot of this very entry appeared on Reddit. I've won the Internet.