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40 Portland, OR Man


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I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 24–36
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My details

Last online
Yesterday – 5:48pm
5' 8" (1.73m)
Body Type
A little extra
Judaism and laughing about it
Post grad
Might want kids
Has cats
English (Fluently)
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Some days I'm Woody Allen, some days I'm Mel Brooks.

I guess my typical day would consist of the following:

Trying to knit, learning the ukulele, wondering what happened to my strawberry plant, math?, making small leaps of picking up Irish, playing a mean game of dominos, being a gigantic nerd or dork or geek depending on what horribleness I just inflicted on unsuspecting bystanders, yelling at my cat, leaping without looking (and by that I mean I've probably just tripped over something), teaching elementary school kids and then figuring out how to teach them better, drinking cider, doing puzzles both jig-sawed and cross-worded, and probably listening to records while doing any of the above… or watching television and movies on hulu or netflix. It really could go any which way.

My life often seems some giant Rube Goldberg machine for which the intention is yet unclear. Just in case, I have a pith helmet at the ready in my car because, yeah, you never know.

I can go from 0-awkward in 2.7 seconds. I can also properly tie a bow-tie, wear suspenders more than a belt, and have a small collection of pocket watches... and one pocket sundial... because of reasons.

Often I open my mouth, words fall out, and I’m as surprised as anyone at what they are.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
Right now I'm lucky enough to teach at an amazing elementary school and be emeritus at an amazing yarn shop.

On the way there I've been many things from a bartender for the mexican mafia to a film editor in Los Angeles. Then, everything changed when the fire nation attacked.

While I've traditionally been indoorsy, I've recently started a couch to 5k and bike commuting, so my ankles and knees are doing just awesome. Bang up job guys, thanks.

My long time car finally had enough so I just sold it off. Instead I now have a good sturdy Russian motorcycle. It has a sidecar though, so I can, you know... still get groceries and take the school dog around and stuff.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Lengthy answers, splitting infinitives, having a fairly even gauge. I have a yen for sleuthing.

It was recently pointed out to me that I have a different hat on but almost the same expression in just about every one of my photos. So... I guess I'm good at that?

I've been book binding and baking a lot lately. Let's all just assume I'm already really great at both of those things.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
Given the people I spend most of my time with these days, I would assume they notice I'm three times as tall as they are.

Also people tend to like my glasses or make note of my keen ability to bump into things.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I keep wanting to delete everything in this section and leave a simple "I reject the premise."

But since I haven't yet and while I'm here, could I ask everyone in tv shows and movies to STOP PUTTING YOUR HANDS IN MALFUNCTIONING GARBAGE DISPOSALS! I just can't take it.

A couple of bucket list items do relate to all of this though. I have done the Truffle Shuffle in front of the Goonies house in Astoria. Also I am an official member of the funk mob, knighted by George Clinton and Bernie Worrell. It was better than my Bar-Mitzvah. As well I have fed and played with a giant pacific octopus. Their most advanced safety protocol was to caution me not to get my fingers too near the beak. This doesn't really relate to books, movies, shows, music, and food, but I felt it was worth mentioning while we're on bucket list items.

Ok so, let's go deeper...
When people ask me the great question, "Beatles or Rolling Stones?" I like to remind them that Eric Burdon is the Kwisatz Haderach.

Pandora is a phenomenal thing. I have found so much new lately thanks to playing with it when I'm working at the yarn shop. Except I don't care all that much for the "Dirty Dancing Soundtrack" channel. Other employees like it and for the most part it is ok. The problem is that "Time of My Life" keeps coming up and I expect an onslaught of customers to come charging at me expecting to be hip-lifted into the air.

I've lived in many cities finding my way to Portland and I would say I like the local music better here than anywhere else. I like The Builders & The Butchers, Sally Ford, Run On Sentence, Pancake Breakfast, and so on.

I love roots americana and blues. Not that Chicago good time rockin' blues as much though. Good hip-hop and Funk have also always been a part of my life (the pinnacle of which mentioned earlier). I have a anachronistic crush on Anita O'Day. Then there's stuff like Jack White, Beck, The Heavy, Black Keys, The Cat Empire, Avett Brothers, etc, etc, likely things that everyone keeps putting here, which everyone agrees upon as good stuff.

In the recent past I've loved: Terriers, Louie, Party Down, Wilfred, Game of Thrones, Girls, Doctor Who, Freaks & Geeks, Flight of the Conchords, The League, Peep Show, Carnivàle...

I'm an escapist. Narrative fiction does it for me the most. I love science fiction, pulp, post-apocolyptic wastelands, eh, a bunch of stuff really. There are just some characters I really connect with (whether I like it or not), and that is what mostly draws me in. Don Quixote, Ignatius Reilly, Kilgore Trout, Richard Mayhew, Arthur Dent, these are my heroes. If I were cast in Shakespeare, I would likely make an excellent Dogberry.

Because of the teaching thing I read a lot of middle reader stuff these days. Luckily, there are amazing things happening in middle reader and young adult books. Currently I'm reading the Hunger Games (hey, easy now, this is for WORK) and I can say while it's no Harry Potter, ok, I'm in.

UPDATE: After finishing "The Hunger Games" I was left feeling pretty certain I would have been dead in the cornucopia. I moved on to "Ready Player One" and I kept wanting to shout My skills! They're relevant! the whole time. I am now on "The Golden Compass" and would very much like my own panserbjørne thank you very much.

FURTHER UPDATE: I'm doing "Wildwood" as a read-aloud and study on inspiration with my class. I think Colin Meloy sleeps with one hand cradling a thesaurus. Also, "Half Bad" feels like what would have happened if Irvine Welsh wrote Harry Potter.

I would like to open a restaurant that specializes in burnt cheese.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. Words
2. Color
3. Memory
4. Placeholders for things I need to think more carefully about
5. Curiosity
6. Amazement
7. A Bone Folder
8. ... <--- These Things
9. Spaghetti Carbonara
10. A very sharp Blackwing 602
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
Can Jewish porn be considered neurotica?
What is the best paradox to crash a 1980's super computer that has just become self aware?
How can some of Chip Kidd's book covers be so brilliant and some just so awful?
Can you imagine what it must have been like to be the person who discovered popcorn?
Could Jessica Fletcher be part of the Wold-Newton universe?
Maybe we should just all wear a pin everyday that says how many hours of sleep we got the night before.
If you're eating a pigeon it's bound to mean either a 5-star or 1-star dining experience, but likely nowhere in between.
Are malaprops generally funnier than puns? Or is that purely situational?
I could conduct a TED talk on what an asshole my cat is.
Red Vines make for a MUCH better straw than Twizzlers.
Why would anyone settle on using two words when you could use ten?
What did I just walk into this room to get?
Why is the Hamburglar a gaucho?
At what point does a dramatic pause become an awkward silence?
What does God need with a starship?
Wait... Licorice is a LEGUME!?
Do I actually have a yen for sleuthing? Or does the combination of words just taste creamy and rich?
Why is the damn cat being so quiet?
No, seriously, didn't I buy a strawberry plant? Where the hell is it?
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
These days Fridays are mostly working then going to bed at a reasonable hour. Didn't you know men with beards live a life of high adventure?
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I prefer waffles to pancakes, pie to cake, tea to coffee (which is so strange considering how awesomely cool I was in high school hanging out in that coffee shop all the time). Seafood and I don't get along at all and I wish all vegetables could just agree to be fruit, because fruit is awesome. Especially pears and blueberries. I'm a Virgo-Rabbit, but I have a Scorpio moon so... that means... ? (I'm not sure how this works)

I am attending a cat circus at the end of the month because... cat circus.
UPDATE: That was amazing!

Here's a big one for Portland, I don't like beer. No, wait... come back! I do like whiskey and cider a whole bunch. Also Dark & Stormys... and Greyhounds.

Oh, I've never been to the Enchanted Forest, and there's a pretty good chance I snore.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
If you made it through that rambling mess up there.
You're ok with the fact that I get around by motorcycle, and that I justify it with the fact that it has a sidecar so I can still take people around or get groceries and junk.
You might know how to read a pocket sundial.
You would like to see the films of the 70's and 80's at the Hollywood or Laurelhurst.
You have "spaceteam" on your phone or iPad and you're ready to go.
You confidently know which wire to cut before the countdown finishes.
You would like to grow a dye garden.
You would side with Bruno Kirby about the wagon wheel in When Harry Met Sally.
You can science.
You want to see where that road goes.
*sigh* or have a problem with your knitting that you need a yarn professional to take a look at...