Oookay, let's try this again.

The thing about dating is that while we are trying to find "that one" (or "those ones"), it's also a great opportunity to learn about oneself. So yeah, you gotta keep swinging and take it all for what it is.

I'm trying to define what love and romance and partnership mean for me, but there are some things I know for sure: I will never be a wife (I am devoted to a life of eternal bachelorette-hood), and I will never be exclusive (I practice non-hierarchical polyamory and there's a woman I'm seeing whom I love love love). I prioritize taking care of myself because when I am at my best I have a lot more to give. However, that means I'm pretty protective of my space and my time -- I usually don't like sharing a bed and I usually don't want to stick around to get brunch the next day.

I'm looking to build a romantic rapport with someone local. We can define what that means together while respecting each other's boundaries.

The basics about me: "Queer" better describes my orientation, "Feminist-a-sexual" describes it best. It's not about the anatomy so much as it's about the mind. I'm exploring a femme side of myself I never knew existed and practice what I like to call "benign narcissism."

I moved to San Francisco from Los Angeles about a year ago to finally begin my career and make cycling my primary form of transportation. I've succeeded at both. I love my job and my work. The way some people feel about their dogs is how I feel about my bicycle.

I'm pretty evenly introverted and extroverted -- I like to eat out alone at crowded restaurants to dig on everyone else's energy while enjoying time to myself. It's not as contradictory as it seems. I am most productive in the early morning (like 5am early morning) and while I do love a night out that ends with watching the sun rise, if there's nothing to do, I am perfectly content to go to bed before 10pm (and do on most nights).

I just got a new passport and I am determined to fill it with as many stamps as possible within the next ten years. I am interested in finding a travel partner.

I'm an active communicator. I find strength in vulnerability and understand that solutions come easier when the ego is relinquished.

I really love being in the company of women (identified people). When a group of women get together they create a vibrant energy that sparkles and vibrates. I bask in that energy and feel I have a lot to contribute to women-centric spaces. If you're a woman (identified person) and I sound even the least bit intriguing to you, please please please message me. Let's be friends or lovers or collaborators.

Waking up early so I can spend an hour everyday working on my book, then riding across the city to my full time job where I get to do what I love for a living. When I get home I like to chill out with a beer and some Hulu or Netflix. Or sometimes I do more work!

Always subject to change -- if someone suggests an adventure, I am usually a willing accomplice.

I set aside money specifically for spending on the weekends -- I have a cash flow spreadsheet set up. I like budgeting.

(When did responsible adulthood sneak up on me like this? I don't mind it, really -- it's nice to be able to actually fund my hobbies and entertainment AND afford rent.)

I don't think I am inherently intelligent -- I think I am just really good at optimizing resources and knowing where to look for the answers I need.

I get a kick out of networking and building collaborations.

I enjoy giving people genuine compliments. I think jealousy is a sign of insecurity and I'd much rather revel in other people's talents, gifts, and skills. As a result, I tend to gravitate toward really cool people (Maybe you?).

I see obstacles as challenges and opportunities to learn. When I fail, I "fail better."

Self-care ... I see a therapist regularly to work out stuff that's bothering me. Like everyone else, I have my share of issues to deal with. But mostly, therapy has given me tools to approach most problems openly, receptively, and with adaptability. Therapy has also taught me the value of myself and given me the strength to protect myself against toxic elements and people. My time is precious and I don't waste it with people who do not affirm me and everything I believe in.

Even though I personally don't practice hierarchical polyamory (ie primaries and secondaries), I don't care if other people do, and I am very happy to fill a "secondary" role (but I view all my partners as equally important).

I look really young for my age.

Oh I could try to impress you, but the truth is everyone is sort of eclectic and it takes some willfulness to subscribe to only one genre.

I have a soft spot for YA adult fantasy novels, especially the work of Tamora Pierce (who I met once at a writing workshop -- she is really cool). I loved bell hooks' "Communion" for introducing me to new ways of examining and practicing love.

My relationship with movies is pretty complicated (because I went to film school), and, to be honest, I find most filmmaking oppressively heteronormative and just straight up uninteresting. That being said, I re-watched "Smiley Face" and "Party Monster" recently and remembered how much I love those movies.

Don't make fun of me because I love ABC's "Revenge" and Britney Spears (Seemingly contradictory, yes? But not really ... and I can explain why if you're curious.).

I love to eat. I don't love cooking.

Beer, Britney, bike ... Internet, cat videos, and Twitter.

Oh, and coffee ... but that sort of goes without saying.

Work. My next vacation (Thailand!). Money.

The interplay of sex and gender ... gender as a performance, destroying the gender binary and the patriarchy that holds us all captive. How patriarchy is at the root of all that makes us miserable and unable to relate on more sincere, profound levels, and how feminism is the tool to undo it.

New avenues of love and romance, cultivating an aggressive and confrontational cuteness, how to be femme without feeling like I am yielding to harmful gender conventions.

The benefits of my privilege, and how to reconcile what I have with what some people don't have, and how to navigate this unequal world in a more holistic, inclusive way without guilt-tripping myself into denial of enjoyment. Musing on how I am oppressed in some ways while oppressing others in other ways, and how I can use my voice to build a better future while learning to be silent and listen when people who face greater obstacles than I do speak up.

Wrestling with how to take care of myself when the insidious voices of doubt begin whispering in my ear. Building my chosen family and learning to let go of my biological family. How to turn obstacles into opportunities. Negotiating the most efficient way to use my time. What I am going to eat next. And gentle nostalgia for lovers lost.

Relaaaxing.

"Hard work good and hard work fine, but first take care of head" (if you catch my drift).

I don't shave.

I'm kind of a pillow princess.

Vanilla sex isn't my favorite.

Message me if you've got something to say.

If you're a woman (Seriously, I want to date more women).

If you're a (cis) man who understands why feminism is for men too (if you don't, that's okay, but quickly check this out: http://jezebel.com/5992479/if-i-admit-that-hating-men-is-a-thing-will-you-stop-turning-it-into-a-self+fulfilling-prophecy).

If you're willing to admit your own privilege (whether that's being a man, white, able-bodied, cis, etc). If you understand that privilege doesn't necessarily mean wealth. If you understand that your privilege is in operation -- and that you're benefitting from it -- whether you want it to be or not. If you understand how to acknowledge your privilege while trying to make the world a more inclusive place. If you understand that there are times when you need to just sit and listen when a person of an oppressed group speaks. If you understand that when I rant about some privileged group it doesn't mean you personally.

If you're also looking for love in unconventional ways.

If you're maybe a little butch and you'd like some arm candy (What? Feminists can enjoy consensual objectification -- keyword being "consensual.").

If you're a photographer looking for a subject.

If you're confident, optimistic, and kinky ... if you enjoy a good beer, have an addiction to coffee, and unabashedly love karaoke.