Sometimes I wish I could vanish,
Curl up in a soft blue cocoon
But i know we create our own beauty,
Like a velvety pink pearl moon.​

If only we knew, didn't misconstrue,
I think we could find
a place in the mind
where upside down is rightside up,
and rightside up is upside down,
and a smile is a smile,
not a subterfuged frown.

Tomorrow night I have a date with a new guy who seems really nice, at least from what I can tell. Of course the last one who seemed SOOOO  nice on the internet turned out to be a liar, a fruitcake, and an emotional cripple, and it took me four months to face up to that. At least this one is NORMAL enough that he called me right away, and is coming here tomorrow so we can have dinner and hangout. It's already so nice to be talking to a guy who actually seems NORMAL, not like the last sneak who obviously had plenty to hide.

Here's a hint from me:WHEN TALKING TO SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET, DON'T LET THEM STRING YOU ALONG WITHOUT CALLING AND MEETING. BOTH OF THOSE THINGS SHOULD TAKE PLACE WITHIN TWO WEEKS, AND IF THEY WON'T, WALK AWAY, B/C THEY ARE ***DEFINITELY HIDING SOMETHING***. Don't be anyone's clothesline, don't let them string you out!

I've discovered that there are many people on internet dating sites who are really, really undesirable for one reason or another, and I'm talking really out there people! The scammers are there, but they're the minority. It's the flakes and the fakes who are the problem, as there are so many of them out there. There are people who are emotionally or psychologically unable to relate to others in real life, so they troll these sites looking for someone they can latch onto for awhile in order to get their emotional fix --for awhile. These people rarely last with anyone, b/c they are unable to meet up---ever. Either they're married or otherwise involved, or they're just too  broken beyond repair, and are incompatible with real life situations. These are the people who have no friends, no life beyond the internet, and they eventually become fairly easy to spot by the fact that will bristle and make excuses whenever the topic of meeting in person comes up. Too broken and/or defective to handle that, they panic, and eventually will move on to the next(emotional) victim--that is, if the strung along person hasn't kicked them to the curb by then. These flakes and fakes are worthless people in the dating world, as they will only string you along, and waste your time and energy by engaging you to go along with their delusional/deceptive little "Internet Fairytale Story", as someone once called it.

I'm not a very emotional person, and I don't give my heart away quickly or easily, but I'd sure never waste my time on a flake or a fake.  I thank God that I am an emotionally strong, healthy girl, and that I don't need to tolerate the broken, useless flakes and fakes of the internet dating world....

 

I'm happy! :)

I love when life suddenly takes a turn for the better, and new people and opportunities suddenly show up and take away the gloomies! It's like wiping the slate clean from all the negative people and experiences of the past, and exciting to make fresh starts with people and places that really excite me, and make me glad!
I'm seeng more and more that love doesn't usually hide in a corner, it's usually right out in the open in front of you, unnoticed until the time is right. :)

I love love in all its wonderful forms!

I'm very happy! My life is going so great, and I'm really excited about the new people who are in it, the new position as Director of Children's Ministry, and my upcoming plans for the near future!

Real friendship is eternal!

Counterfeit friendship is ...bah, not worth the paper it's printed on.

LOL...

I'm happy.

Really happy.

I'm really, really happy!!!

 

A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones
Proverbs 17:22

In response to Recognizing Insincerity In A Soulless "Friend" by adriaticsong:

If you ever lied to me about your intentions and desires, youwere not my friend.

If you ever pretended to respect my religious beliefs but reallythought they were "excessive", you were not my friend.

If you ever made me cry with frustration or hurt, you were notmy friend.

If you never wanted to talk to me, you were not my friend.

If you never wanted to spend time with me, you were not myfriend.

If you ever pretended to have no money in order to avoidsomething with me, you were not my friend.

If you threw the Bible verses that I carefully imparted in aneffort to encourage you and give you hope, back into my face,,, ifyou insulted me for caring enough to do so, you were not myfriend.

If you saw my honest, loving heart, and mistook my kindness forweakness, you were not my friend.

If ignoring me and lying about it was acceptable to you, you were not my friend.

If you repeatedly promised to do things, but rarely kept yourword on any of the little things that they were, you were not myfriend.

If, after knowing that i was the best friend you would everhave, you could betray me, you most certainly
**********were* never* my* friend*********

And I'm glad I know that now.

I pray that God will bless you richly, and it doesn't matter onebit if you mock that, or find it distasteful, or "unrealistic".

You *always*, from the very start, knew *who* and *what* Iwas

I regret that you never really were the friend I thought I had,and that our friendship was just a sham.

Goodbye, my "friend". ::waves::

 

 

* This is a very private expression of my personal stream ofthoughts. Please do not comment, or ask me to explain this post.Thank you.

 

Thank you both, Gabe and Mansoor. Your friendship means a lot to me.. :)

How long is it going to take me until I can ever again fully trust another human being not formerly known to me? Maybe not ever? Maybe that's better? Yes, I think it may be better.

I'm feeling good! I finally know who my real friends are, who not to trust, and the importance of knowing when to....

yea, I know my own worth very well. And I'm glad. )