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26 F San Jose, CA

I’m looking for

  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 23–55
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 6:53pm
5′ 2″ (1.57m)
Body Type
Full figured
Mostly anything
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, and doesn’t want any
Likes dogs and likes cats

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Why, hello thar :) My name is Joy.

Originally from the Midwest, I spent some time on the east coast in New York before relocating across the country to California in 2013. I love it here and don't really plan to ever leave, except to travel.

Important things to know about me:
* I am polyamorous and more than a little bit kinky. If you aren't experienced with non-monogamy and at least open to attending kink events, I'm not the woman for you.
* I am in serious relationship with a pretty awesome guy who I've been seeing for over a year. I'm definitely looking for casual dating and potentially another serious romantic relationship -- but he isn't going anywhere.
* I do not do "don't ask, don't tell." Consent and ethical non-monogamy are VITAL. If you're sleeping around behind your partner's back, gtfo.
* I'm not interested in dating couples. I've tried it, and just wasn't my cup of tea. Thanks but no thanks :)

Intelligence and sharp wit send my heart a-flutter. I love educated people, but I don't think all education comes from books and institutionalized learning. A thirst for learning and self-improvement does not require an expensive piece of paper, and education is a privileged system that is not a one-size-fits-all.

If you care about that sort of thing, I am an ENFP. I'm not the settling down type, so I prefer those who want to run free with me instead. I enjoy dating both single-type people as well as those with existing partners.

I'm not just looking for sex or boring dates where we struggle to come up with something to say to each other. I want romance. I want to go to the beach at sunset and marvel at the exquisite beauty of nature with you. I want to seek out foodgasms at hole-in-the-wall restaurants with you. I want to laugh until one/both of us snorts with you. I want to attend a concert at a small, intimate venue and feel the music reverberate through my soul with you. I want to bar hop until 3am with you. I want to stay in on a Tuesday evening and play Scrabble or watch too many episodes of some hilarious TV show with you. I want to cook with you. I want to discuss books and childhood memories and weird history with you. I want to learn from you. If any or all of that sounds good, send me a message. I want to hear from you.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
* Writing, both professionally and for pleasure. I write poetry, prose, fiction, erotica, lists, blogs, press releases and more.
* Modeling, mostly erotic and fetish.
* Enjoying a vast and varied social life. I like going out more than staying in at this point.
* Taking care of my body. I'm a big fan of Zumba, yoga, long walks and am hoping to get back into jogging if my ankle/knee allow it. Just bought a Fitbit and I'm pretty stoked about the little gadget.
* Exploring the wonders of Northern California and traveling elsewhere when I can. I'm constantly looking for new sights to see, places to hike and experience the glory of nature as well as the beautiful culture of cities new and old.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Reading people, making awkward jokes, singing in the shower, failing miserably at videogames but insisting on playing them anyway, baking, cooking, lazy Sundays, communication, kissing, gigglefits, making people laugh.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I'm pretty energetic and usually have a giant smile on my face. If I'm not laughing, I'm probably having a bad day. I tend to end up being the life of the party and am the first person to try and make anyone who looks uncomfortable feel welcome and relaxed. If you were to spot me alone in public, chances are I'd be reading a paperback or scribbling into a notebook.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I love:
Neil Gaiman
Song of Ice and Fire series
Harry Potter
history, sociology & anthropology
Ever After
28 Days Later
terrible SyFy/Lifetime movies
Welcome to Night Vale
Doctor Who
The Walking Dead
Parks & Rec
Boy Meets World
anything Joss Whedon has ever produced
Bright Eyes
Andrew McMahon's many projects
Mumford & Sons
The Killers
jazz and blues
dance/pop/hip hop with a killer beat
Brian Wilson
pretty much all music, honestly
peanut butter

If you want to know more, well, that's the whole point of a conversation :P
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
1. books
2. makeup (it's fun to play with and my face makes an excellent canvas)
3. music
4. the ocean
5. cuddling
6. peanut butter
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
* Body politics and fat acceptance
* Sex positivity and the issues surrounding sex work, pornography and BDSM/kink culture as they intersect with race, sexism, gender and privilege
* The two novels I am writing
* Whatever TV show I am currently obsessed with (at present that'd be The West Wing)
* Whatever book(s) I'm reading (Les Miserables, Fall of the House of Dixie, and a super trashy paranormal romance to balance it out)
* Costume/outfit ideas for the next party I'm attending
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Going out to an event/party in SF or hosting a game night with friends. Sometimes I stay in and watch movies or catch up on my reading, but that's infrequent - usually my Friday nights are planned well in advance. I spend a lot of weekends in Santa Cruz.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am on the right side of the slash in a Dominant/submissive relationship, with the aforementioned serious partner. No, not like 50 Shades of Grey. If you'd like to know more, message me.

Also, I don't own a car at present. But I'm a big fan of walking and pretty good at public transpo.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
- You are capable of sending a message that is more than just a couple sentences words long. "Hi" and "Hey sexy" do nothing to make me want to respond to you.
- You are polyamorous and/or curious and would like to know more about poly/polyamory and open relationships.
- You're kinky or at least kink-friendly. I'm pretty goddamn kinky and very involved in BDSM, so it's important that anyone I potentially date is aware and understanding of that. And yes, I *do* have a profile on Fetlife.
- You'd love a new friend to laugh and learn with.
- You're a good tour guide and know cool places in the area.
- You love board games (especially Munchkin or Scrabble).
- You think you have a shot at beating me in Mario Kart.