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26 F San Jose, CA

My Details

Last Online
Jul 25
5′ 2″ (1.57m)
Body Type
Full figured
Mostly vegetarian
Agnosticism, and laughing about it
Scorpio, but it doesn’t matter
Graduated from university
Art / Music / Writing
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
Doesn’t have kids, but wants them
Likes dogs and likes cats

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My self-summary
Why, hello thar :) My name is Joy.

Originally from the Midwest, I spent some time on the east coast in New York before relocating across the country to California in 2013. I love it here and don't really plan to ever leave, except to travel.

I am polyamorous and more than a little bit kinky. I am in a relationship with a pretty awesome guy who has another pretty awesome girlfriend besides me. I don't have time for people who think they have a right to dictate what I should be doing with my body, mind or soul. I thrive in my autonomy and enjoy alone time as much as I love being with other people. If you care about that sort of thing, I am an ENFP. I'm not the settling down type, so I prefer those who want to run free with me instead. I *am* looking for a serious relationship - but I don't have any desire for marriage or a family in the future. I enjoy dating both single-type people as well as those with existing partners. I am HUGE on consent and ethical nonmonogamy. If you are dating/sleeping around behind your partner's back, don't bother contacting me. I won't be party to cheating of any kind.

Intelligence and sharp wit send my heart a-flutter. I love educated people, but I don't think all education comes from books and institutionalized learning. A thirst for learning and self-improvement does not require an expensive piece of paper, and education is a privileged system that is not a one-size-fits-all.

I'm not just looking for sex or boring dates where we struggle to come up with something to say to each other. I want romance. I want to go to the beach at sunset and marvel at the exquisite beauty of nature with you. I want to seek out foodgasms at hole-in-the-wall restaurants with you. I want to laugh until one/both of us snorts with you. I want to attend a concert at a small, intimate venue and feel the music reverberate through my soul with you. I want to bar hop until 3am with you. I want to stay in on a Tuesday evening and play Scrabble or watch too many episodes of some hilarious TV show with you. I want to cook with you then drink wine in the hot tub together under the stars after our meal (yes, I have a hot tub). I want to discuss books and childhood memories and weird history with you. I want to learn from you. If any or all of that sounds good, send me a message. I want to hear from you.
What I’m doing with my life
* Writing, both professionally and for pleasure. I write poetry, prose, fiction, erotica, lists, blogs, press releases and more.
* Modeling, mostly erotic and fetish.
* Enjoying a vast and varied social life. I like going out more than staying in at this point.
* Working up the courage to take my singing act out of my shower/bedroom.
* Taking care of my body. I'm a big fan of Zumba, yoga, long walks and am hoping to get back into jogging if my ankle/knee allow it. Just bought a Fitbit and I'm pretty stoked about the little gadget.
* Exploring the wonders of Northern California and traveling elsewhere when I can. I'm constantly looking for new sights to see, places to hike and experience the glory of nature as well as the beautiful culture of cities new and old.
I’m really good at
Reading people, making awkward jokes, singing in the shower, failing miserably at videogames but insisting on playing them anyway, baking, cooking, lazy Sundays, communication, kissing, gigglefits, making people laugh.
The first things people usually notice about me
I'm pretty energetic and usually have a giant smile on my face. If I'm not laughing, I'm probably having a bad day. I tend to end up being the life of the party and am the first person to try and make anyone who looks uncomfortable feel welcome and relaxed. If you were to spot me alone in public, chances are I'd be reading a paperback or scribbling into a notebook.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I love:
Neil Gaiman
Song of Ice and Fire series
Harry Potter
history, sociology & anthropology
Ever After
28 Days Later
terrible SyFy/Lifetime movies
Welcome to Nightvale
Doctor Who
The Walking Dead
Parks & Rec
Boy Meets World
anything Joss Whedon has ever produced
Bright Eyes
Andrew McMahon's many projects
Mumford & Sons
The Killers
jazz and blues
dance/pop/hip hop with a killer beat
Brian Wilson
pretty much all music, honestly
peanut butter

If you want to know more, well, that's the whole point of a conversation :P
The six things I could never do without
1. books
2. makeup (it's fun to play with and my face makes an excellent canvas)
3. music
4. the ocean
5. cuddling
6. peanut butter
I spend a lot of time thinking about
* Body politics and fat acceptance
* Sex positivity and the issues surrounding sex work, pornography and BDSM/kink culture as they intersect with race, sexism, gender and privilege
* The two novels I am writing
* Whatever TV show I am currently obsessed with (at present that'd be Game of Thrones, Parks & Rec, and I juuuuust sold my soul to The West Wing)
* Costume/outfit ideas for the next party I'm attending (working on a badass Maleficent costume for a Disney-themed party in June)
On a typical Friday night I am
Going out to an event/party in SF or hosting a game night with friends. Sometimes I stay in and watch movies or catch up on my reading, but that's infrequent - usually my Friday nights are planned well in advance. I spend a lot of weekends in Santa Cruz these days.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I am on the left side of the slash in a Dominant/submissive relationship. No, not like 50 Shades of Grey. If you'd like to know more, message me.

Also, I don't own a car at present. But I'm a big fan of walking and pretty good at public transpo.
I’m looking for
  • Guys who like girls
  • Ages 23–55
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating
You should message me if
- You are polyamorous and/or curious and would like to know more about poly/polyamory and open relationships.
- You understand that I am not looking for quick hookups or casual sex.
- You're kinky or at least kink-friendly. I'm pretty goddamn kinky and very involved in BDSM, so it's important that anyone I potentially date is aware and understanding of that. And yes, I *do* have a profile on FL.
- You'd love a new friend to laugh and learn with.
- You're a good tour guide and know cool places in the area.
- You love board games (especially Munchkin or Scrabble).
- You think you have a shot at beating me in Mario Kart.