When I eat gummy bears, I always begin by biting the head off the first one as a message to the rest.
My compliments to the people at Folgers for nailing the rich, aromatic tang of rain-soaked cardboard.
I'm really angry at Adele's ex for breaking her heart. He's the reason we've been subjected to her whiney fucking music.
Whenever I'm running on a treadmill behind a girl on a treadmill I feel like I'm chasing her. Creepy.
The Rainforest Cafe isn't realistic enough for me. Part of the restaurant should burn down by the time you finish your meal.
"Damn look at that ass!" - me, always, every day, several times per day, way too much.
I put a dollar in a girl's valentine in fourth grade. We'd be happily married today if she hadn't been such a cunt about it.
I used to work as a post-production assistant on "Hell's Kitchen", Season 5. Here's some uncensored goodness from that season.
Favorite part of that video starts at 29 seconds: "Don't fucking dare start getting fucking pissy with me. Is that clear? Good. Now, just SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" -Gordon Ramsay. Lol! I love Gordon! In case you're wondering, he's a complete gentleman outside the kitchen. He woo'ed me off my feet when I first met him. :)