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34 M Brooklyn, NY

My Details

Last Online
Apr 14
6′ 0″ (1.83m)
Body Type
Strictly anything
Atheism, but not too serious about it
Graduated from masters program
Relationship Status
Open relationship
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
Has dogs
English (Okay), Spanish (Okay)

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My self-summary
I'm happily married, and OKC is an ongoing part of that. I'm looking for interesting women to have fun with and sleep with. I will be really nice to you and please you in bed. I could be your friend. In fact, I prefer to be your friend. I can't be your boyfriend or your husband because I already do that with FredericaVernon. We're in this together. It's kind of badass.

After 13 years together, we think that the only way to be everything to each other is to a) recognize that we can't be everything to each other and b) to make room for that. It relieves a lot of pressure. No matter how much you love someone, you can't turn off your sexual interest and appetites for other people. The planning and sharing keep us closer together. Breaking down barriers and tensions turns us on.

P.S. Her profile is temporarily down, and we're kind of on hiatus from OKC, but I'll keep this up for now.
What I’m doing with my life
-I'm a do-gooder by day and occasionally do bad things at night.

-My wife and I give relationship advice, sometimes for money.

-I run and have a dog but never mix the two.
I’m really good at

-Asking questions.

-I can write the fuck out of a five-paragraph essay on any topic.
The first things people usually notice about me
-That I look different from the last time you saw me. Skinnier. Dresses preppier. My personality is pretty far from preppy, brah.

-I've got a trim beard right now. There's grey in it. People now call me distinguished.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Movies: The Big Lebowski, Chinatown, Vicky Christina Barcelona (and its sequel Britney Skylar Tuscaloosa).

Podcasts: Anything that might have Paul F. Thompkins or Jad Abumrad as a guest or producer; anything featuring regular people telling true stories.

Food: Chocolate and Indian food (but not together). Fruit.

Music: I can't stop listening to Arcade Fire's "Reflektor," especially the song "Afterlife." Also really into James Blake and dancy music with female singers right now: CHVRCHES, Phantogram, Yeah Yeah Yeahs. Finally, white rappers, Wu Tang Clan, Beethoven's piano sonatas, and new stuff on Spotify that I can't name because I listen on my bike with headphones.

TV: It's Always Wired and Enthusiastic on The Boardwalk in Deadwood Where the Weeds Grow Tall, the Love is Big, and The Walking Dead Were Bored to Death

Books: Just pick up Peter Carey, especially Parrot and Olivier in America. Oscar Wao. Frankenstein. The Poisonwood Bible. Cloud Atlas. Netherland.

Periodicals: The New Yorker, Harper's, The Times.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
1. We're nothing more than the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves.

2. What does she taste like?

3. Power underlies every sexual encounter. How do you use it wisely?

4. It's funny how easy it is, once you take the plunge, to change your own beliefs and extend your comfort zone, thereby becoming more relaxed person in the process. The assumptions about the natural order of monogamy, possession, and jealousy, for example, seem to crumble just by standing at the edge of convention. I'm likely to want to say no to something my wife or I propose at first. Then I ask myself, "Why not?" Then I say, "There's not really a good reason why not, as long as no one gets hurt and no one is malicious." Then I take a step and say, "yes." Then I leap and say, "YES." And that becomes the new normal.
On a typical Friday night I am
It's the Sabbath and making love is the holiest mitzvah of all.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I a) just forgot your name or b) am worried I forgot your name even though I do remember it. I've got your life story and all the details down like a pro, though.

I wear Axe.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 22–43
  • Near me
  • For new friends, casual sex
You should message me if
- You're not weirded out by the fact that I am monogamish (almost monogamous but ...).

-You're in a similar situation, turned on by my wedding ring, or don't mind. In that case, you're kind of awesome.

-You can look me in the eye on a date, talk about sex before and during the act, and are fun and giving in bed.

-You don't have any STDs and are only the good kind of crazy.

-It's so much easier if we both live in Brooklyn, but I like other boros too.

-You are conscientious about keeping dates and rarely cancel at the last moment. We're all busy.

-Be forewarned: I am going to hold you to it if your profile has the following: a) looking for partners in crime, b) going on adventures, c) fake mustaches. We might end up in jail, stranded on an island in Jamaica Bay, or battling razor burn, but I'm serious. If your profile doesn't mention these things, even better--we'll do something else.