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38 Santa Barbara, CA Man


I’m looking for

  • Women
  • Ages 23–37
  • Near me
  • Who are single
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating

My Details

Last Online
Dec 13
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
Mostly anything
Pisces, and it’s fun to think about
Graduated from Ph.D program
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Mostly monogamous

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Years ago and someone I was dating made me set up this profile so they could make me take tests. I'm a "hornivore." Then the profile just sat there. Then I got bored and filled it with long winded stories.

The short version of me:
I've been making my own yogurt.
I text too much.
Almost all of my favorite music is sorta whiny.
Thin Mints are my favorite Girl Scout cookies, but they have to be straight from the freezer.
I'm a fairly dedicated bike commuter.
I hate trees.
I own a rabbit. It's a long story.
I have strong opinions about gummi candy.
I spent years as the world's worst grad student. Now I get to decide what to do with a PhD.
I talk. A lot. Usually at speed...

I think that's all you really need to know.
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
grading papers, staying up late, trying to decide how to make a living with a fairly silly amount of education.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Chatty e-mails, intellectual property theft, hand holding, procrastination, and sarcasm.
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
damned if I know, ask 'em...
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
A) The week I was finishing my masters thesis my horoscope told me:
Pisces: (February 19 – March 20) “Your fascination with the Vietnam War, combined with your love of romance novels and vampire myths, cause you to produce the worst work of fiction ever.”
Now that's wrong in the particulars, but so totally spot on in spirit. I wish Donald Barthelme, Peter Guralnick, Lorrie Moore, and Annie Dillard would have a love child...

B) I loved La Dolce Vita and The Seven Samurai, but I watched every episode of Scrubs at least four times, and if you could somehow mash-up Henry Fool and Heavy Metal Parking lot I'd purr.

C) You know Mozart, Miley Cyrus, Black Flag, that kinda stuff.

D) I'm in favor...but if you need details. Pizza: pineapple, almonds, feta cheese. Cookies: oatmeal with walnuts, Cake: German Chocolate. The fluffy white crap that people usually call "cake" is the wonderbread of the desert world.
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
Invariably, at least three of these things will be left behind when I need 'em most...(though clearly ellipses should be on the list).
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
"imagine a Carthage, sown with salt..."
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
This semester Friday is actually on Wednesday for me.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I still wet the bed. I secretly wear women's underwear. Every night I spoon my pillow and call "her" Amanda Balderdash. I can recite, from memory, every line of every episode of the original Star Trek series. I have two mothers, and I live in both their basements. I'm the president of the California branch of the Taylor Swift fan club. I take Propecia every morning with my chocolate milk. I pop a Viagra every time I go out on a date just in case, but I'm too embarrassed to ask a doctor for them, so I just responded to a unsolicited offer received via e-mail, so chances are I'm just taking speed and sugar pills, colored blue. I'm the 5th person in history to ever actually send his bank account number to a General in Nigeria who needed help getting his money out of the country. I was once treated for a bad case of carpal tunnel contracted as a result of excess masturbation. I just spent like 10 minutes composing a list of fake private issues for a dating web site. Kill me now....
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
eh, the urge strikes you.