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ainjelsayne

34 M Myrtle Beach, SC

I’m looking for

  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 21–44
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My Details

Last Online
Yesterday – 11:21am
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White, Other
Height
6′ 3″ (1.91m)
Body Type
Fit
Diet
Strictly anything
Smokes
Sometimes
Drinks
Rarely
Drugs
Sometimes
Religion
Other, and laughing about it
Sign
Virgo, and it’s fun to think about
Education
Working on Ph.D program
Job
Other
Income
Rather not say
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Doesn’t have kids
Pets
Likes dogs and likes cats
Speaks
English (Fluently), German (Okay)

Similar Users

My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
Here's the deal kids, yes this is me and yes I'm real, I'm the night host for the Carolinas only casino cruise line so I'm busy tues-Fri nights and all day Sat but if you get on and swing by and mention the spelling of my name here I'll give ya an extra special surprise

All the benefits of a gay best friend and you can sleep with me too

i'm a central NY tranasplant and I've been here about 3 years now and though i've got a great job that i love i really have no social life yet, due to the fact that i live in a tourism based town and know almost nobody outside of co-workers , i'm here looking to expand my social circle however it may happen. my job leaves me busy tues-friday 5pm-1am and all day saturday, giving me the options of free sundays mondays and every day while most of the rest of the world is actually working.
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Obligatory warning---
I am a huge fucking nerd (graduated from high school in NY with more than double the required credits despite missing the entire first semester minus 2 days and the entire second semester minus 2 weeks of senior year due to crushing my skull) and i'm proud to admit it.
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---- warning over now back to my original profile-----
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poet, photographer, photo editor animal lover (in my time i've had a dozen-ish dogs, 5 cats, 1 savannah monitor lizard, 2 ball pythons, 1 red tailed boa, 6 hamsters, 8 mice, (rodents are not including temporarily housing food for carnivorous reptiles), and x #'s of fish) computer geek , humorous, intelligent "too damn smart for my own damn good", pierced x6, tattooed x8 (10 or so more in the planning/ design phase), hopeless romantic,intense yet laid back, i can cook, i'm an artist. i've a great sense of humor and a bad british accent that comes out at the strangest times. an athiest with a god complex, a non-practicing taoist, one pretty zen motherfucker
AIM or yahoo at the same name or email through here and i'll give you the real one, looking for some fun and new friends, lived in syracuse, cicero, weedsport, brewerton, oneida, & albany ny, burlington vt, amd now myrtle beach sc . hit me up even if it's only to say you're entirely repulsed by all that i am, Peace... E
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...
also i've been told that i write in run on sentences... but that might just be the hyper caffinated beverages, the disturbingly annoying intelligence, or the brain trauma induced ADHD, who knows?
I could write for hours about myself, and that would be a bit narcissistic of me but that is what this section is for.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've probably got more scars than anyone you've ever met, i've crushed my skull, dislocated and sprained nearly every major joint in my body more times than should be legal, have size 9.5 feet because i broke the growth plates in my feet as a teenager, been thrown ass first through a glass top table and as a result pulled a shard of glass from between two vertebrae yet none of these constant injuries kept me down for long. i've got many more stories and inuries...
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at age 8 could pick off lego men with a ruger .22 pistol at 20 yards. i'm good with a bow and arrow, have been shot at, been hit with ricocheting bullets. blown my shoulder out at age 9 with my grandfathers 10 ga. yet i've no desire to hunt unless it was an absolute necessity.
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i'm double jointed nearly everywhere, and while one would think this gives me the flexibility of a 11 year old female gymnast it in fact does not, i can't touch my toes while standing up because my hamstrings are so tight however it is entertaining to watch me perform circus tricks, you've got to ask nicely though
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i can breathe fire! (i put this here because a previous girlfriend actually asked me this as a "test" question before we met, sort of like that impossible list of characteristics sandra bullocks child character in practical magic makes) i've got it on video and am willing to do it live, and have friends that will attest to me blowing up my apartment *without burning or damaging anything merely scaring the shit out of a bunch of hungover college kids* and peeling my entire face off with a pair of needle nosed pliers because i quite literally cooked the top layer of my skin
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i generate my own excessive body heat so that i radiate into the close surrounding area (great if you like to cuddle when it's cold). im not sure if this is a conscious ability or an innate one as i can turn it off and on, however i don't know how to actually do it.
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i can tickle you even if you're not ticklish *85% success rate approximately* and while i'm intensely ticklish it's almost impossible to get me to react to it due to my insane levels of self control and a history of a father with a mildly sadistic sense of humor
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I giggle when 110 volt current runs through my body because i've been shocked so many times, household voltage merely tickles to me.
i can: wire a house, plumb a garbage disposal/sink/dishwasher, rebuild a washing machine, hang drywall, shingles, and siding but really don't like to because of having a father who continuously fixed the house for 20 years.
i can dance like i'm not white or straight.
i grocery shop like i'm in a race.
i can prepare and cook nearly everything on the tgi friday's menu from scratch, and much more.

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So,... welcome to my little corner of the asylum....
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
wandering randomly through life in hopes of finding continued eternal happiness or at least a series of short remissions from terminal boredom...

~~~~~~~~~~~

i am a casino host if that narrows down location for anyone here who may want to observe this creature in his natural habitat, it shouldn't be too difficult to figure out, and i work nights. Also if you know anything of the casino or hospitality industries you'll know this but for those of you who don't, in the interest of full disclosure, my job essentially boils down to; professional ass kisser, therapist, and bullshit artist. I am a phenomenal liar yet outside of the professional setting am always honest, in fact i hate liars and this is the only bit of self loathing that is in me, I recognize the fact and its utility in my profession and use it to my advantage even taking pride in it yet also openly admitting it even to those I get paid to lie to. I'm aware of the stereotype and hipocrisy inherent in an admitted liar telling you they'll never lie to you, and yet here I am telling you the same thing and hoping you'll believe me.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
living life, cooking dinner with the most random assortment of crap lying around the place, fixing computers that my friends have thoroughly screwed sideways, giving soul numbing body massages, arguing a point with an intelligent "foe" even if the point isn't one i believe in, photoediting everything i've ever taken a picture of...oh the list goes on but my keyboard doesn't liked to be poked and prodded this much it tends to get all worked up and the mouse gets jealous
The first things people usually notice about me
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
if they're observant, my eyes, if they're not my hairline, if they're a jackass my chronic limp, if they're blind the fact that for no apparent reason i tend to slip into an excellent bad british accent at random moments, and if they're really observant and aren't looking at my ass they'll notice the scars on my face from frenching a guard rail at 40 on my bike
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
Books) H2G2 and anything else by DNA, anything by jonathan nasaw, james morrow, charles ludwige dodgson, A.N.Roquelaure, garth ennis, jhonen vazquez, warren ellis and copious amounts of poetry and so many webcomics that you'd think i knew the artists, but only really know one of them...the list is in fact endless but the text box is sadly not

Movies) dead poets society, requiem for a dream, pump up the volume, the boondock saints, kids, secretary. ken park, fightclub, a clockwork orange, anything samuel l jackson, christian slater, or gary oldman have touched which means true romance is most certainly on the list, natural born killers, cruel intentions 1 and 3, the entire view askew library, any shakespeare as done by kenneth branagh, hackers "hackers 2" operation takedown, RHPS, vampire hunter d, every horrible cliche 80's movie, running out of space here but these are just a few of the movies i've got on my computer, and oh so many more and just about anything else

Shows) not a huge tv fan actually, spent the last 3 years without watching more than about an hour a month, however previously: farscape, most anything on discovery, history or science channels, most of the serial dramas on usa (burn notice, etc), any of the alphabet soup shows (ncis, csi, svu), most hbo serials also (OZ, true blood, -not- deadwood), anything that jim henson touched (have the entire series of fraggle rock on my comp), roughly half the anime ever shown on comedy central or cartoon network (s-cry-ed, trigun, flcl, and paranoia agent entire series on computer)

Music) the who, beach boys, lynyrd skynyrd, lords of acid, rap from a tribe called quest to common, rock from flogging molly to orgy, danzig to bush, rap rock from fort minor to korn, techno from BT to Tiesto, country from the 90's mostly, classical tchaikovski to yngwie malmsteen , funk and soul from parlament to marvin gaye, most 90's dance and r&b, classic rock, jazz and big band from ella fitzgerald to glen miller orchestra and everything else out there as long as there's a soul to it and it took effort and talent to make

Food) meat (walk it by the grill stab it on the way to the table), bread (carb addict), fruit (any but starfruit), liquids (usually half a gallon of water/day minimum plus caffeinated beverages, veggies (except cauliflower, radishes, crappy peppers, and olives) i'm an omnivore to the fullest extent

i grew up very much a media whore and still am to this day, it's just another form of information for me and I ingest it like any other source. other than when i was eating a meal with the family, the tv was never off in my presence unless i was asleep and remembered to turn on the sleep timer, i quite literally grew up doing my homework while simultaneously watching 2 diffrent tv channels and listening to the radio. people tend to be rather astounded by the actual volume of pop culture media i've ingested and memorized (photographic memory and instant recall) it is truly staggering the volume of grey matter i have inadvertently dedicated to shitty television and movies while still managing to stay sane and not a basement dwelling shut in with no social skills.

so quite literally if you ask and it had any modicum of popularity from 1980-2000 i've probably seen it or heard it and most likely like it too, you may find this to be cool at first but i assure you, one day you'll be thinking you're all happy to introduce me to something that you thought was unique to you from your childhood because no one else remembers it and you've spent years of your life trying to explain to people the coolness of monchichi's or some such shit... i don't mean to be a spoilsport but i am...
The six things I could never do without
Think outside the box. Sometimes the little things can say a lot.
my camera, my poetry, an innate sense of childlike curiosity, my computer, caffeine, and water
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
i don't think, end of story, actually that's a bit misleading, truth is I have a photographic memory, nearly instant recall, and a stupid level of attention to detail. After 33 years of practice this results in my thought processes appearing to an outside observer as nearly instinctively fast, add to this the absurd amount of data I've ingested being an absolute nerd, and a penchant for recognizing patterns and you're stuck with a guy who knows just enough about a screaming shit ton of topics to carry on an intelligent and intense conversation with the above average avid practitioner. Hence that too damn smart for my own damm good thing, I don't mean to come across as conceited or vain, and I am fully aware of the vast quantity of knowledge out there that I don't have, in all reality there are very few common topics or tasks that I am not conversant in and above average at, and in the cases of my failings I always look to add that knowledge or skill to my repitoir, and until I've gotten there I'm good enough at bullshitting that I can at least not look like an absolute tool.

Aka most times someone asks about any given topic or problem I've got the solution, have already heard of it, etc, often my friends come to me before running to google.
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
doing atypical things

~~~~~~actually on any given friday night as long as the tides and winds are behaving i'm roughly 3 miles off shore plying my trade as professional bullshit artist and asskisser
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
i have a frenum piercing and i know how to use it
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
i haven't scared you away by now and you think you and i will have something fun to talk about, or you're really good at comfortable silences on the phone, in reality, or over AIM or yahoo at the same screen name as my profile here.
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If your profile revolves around you being a good christian girl, if god or Jesus are in the list of 6 things you can't live without, or you refer to yourself as a southern Belle, please just flip right by, one date with me will corrupt you so far beyond your comprehension that no amount of penance will save you from the hell you have inadvertantly doomed yourself to thinking yourself capable of converting me. ~~~~~~~~~
If you; have an affinity for daisy's to the point of having or contemplating a tattoo of one, or have a butterfly tattooed somewhere on the front of your pelvis i will pro ably not date you, i'm sorry, these are rules that have been established for my protection as well as yours, we can be friends, we can hook up, but we can not have a relationship as it is likely doomed to fail.
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ps if your tits are larger than my head don't bother, i'll be your friend but to be dead honest i know i'll just get overwhelmed and lost. also if your thighs are larger than mine we'll probably have difficulties as my quads are roughly the size of tree trunks due to years of chronic patella dislocation syndrome and electro stimulus physical thereapy. I actually measured to make a point to a co-worker who frequently rips on me for my pants being so tight, he mistakenly thinks that since he's almost as tall as me that he's the same size as me or built like me, and as such thinks i intentionally buy fabric straining dress slacks in hopes of impressing women, yet again I'm still on here, and single for over a year now.... so yeah. each thigh is 26" around and each calf is 22", this is patently absurd I realize, yet the saddest part is if I get back in the gym to get back under 10% body fat, the muscle mass replacement is the same and I look like an anorexic steroid user.