I am an intelligent, ambitious, successful and funny man looking for a woman who will add to my life and has her own life together. I have been described as hilarious and witty; sometimes a little bit c0cky, but in a funny way.

I have many sides to me, I am not "2 + 2", I am more like "F = Gm1m2/d2". So if you get dizzy easily in a conversation, have barely enough mental capacity to keep your heart pumping, always walk around with a "deer in the headlights" look, think the people on the Jerry Springer show are to be admired, have an affinity for the brilliance of people like Anna Nicole Smith, Paris Hilton, etc... I'm not interested, but I do sincerely wish you luck in finding a mindless lemming to stay by your side as you make your journey into the world known as "Duh!"

I have a myriad of interests; too much to really articulate all of them in a few paragraphs of text. I enjoy dining out, traveling, exploring new places and going anywhere where there's good company and good conversation. I go to the gym every other day and consider keeping myself healthy an important part of my life.

On the intellectual side: I love writing fiction and poetry. I also have other intellectual hobbies like astronomy, computers, reading, anything on the Discovery Channel, etc.

On the artistic side: Music-wise I can listen to almost any kind of noise, but the noises that seem to stimulate the pleasure centers of my brain thus producing sertonin tend to be usually comprised of alternative rock and classic rock.

I enjoy art in all its forms: movies, performing arts, live bands, museums, etc. Well, except for mimes. Mimes are just plain evil. They should be shot on sight. Same with clowns. If I ever see a clown that mimes, I will probably run over it with my car...a few times, just to be sure. :P

I have a five-year old daughter that I get every other weekend, and she is the world to me; so if we hit it off and spend any significant time together you must like kids (not looking for a mommy though-- she has that).

My dream is to one day become a famous novelist, and to make movies. Of course, I take the comfort in knowing that if my dream doesn't come true I have a great day job to fall back to. :)

Now, if you want to qualify in the contest to earn my companionship, you must be:

Attractive, intelligent, warm and witty. Someone who is blunt, mature and comfortable in their own skin. Must also be confident enough to have fun without getting their panties in a twist over silly little things. If you are thin-skinned and can't handle sarcastic and twisted humor, we will probably not get along and I will likely leave you in a confused daze reminiscent of an escaped alzheimer's patient stumbling into a rock concert.

That probably rules out most of you. But if you're still brave enough to remain in the running at this point, I must warn you it now gets tougher as I now present to you the deal breakers:

* You have a picture of you french-kissing your dog
* Your grammar skills are such that you occasionally misspell your own name
* You are a reality-show addict, and that's the only thing you watch
* Your blood alcohol level, on the norm, approaches your IQ
* You voted for Bush the second time
* You only go to Barnes & Noble for the coffee
* The last book you read was "Watch Spot Run"...in grade school (and you didn't understand the plot then...or now)
* You lack a sense of humor and only laugh 3 seconds after you see other people laugh
* If you think too hard about something, you go into cardiac arrest due to your brain's inability to both think and keep your heart pumping at the same time

Sorry for sounding so demanding, but hey... I've got standards. :)

Aside from spending time with my daughter, work and gym; I spend most of my free time working on my novel.

Everything I set my mind to. Except my laundry; it's smarter than I am and always wins.

What am I? A frackin' mind reader?

Books: I enjoy fiction books (thrillers & scifi mainly), and on the non-fiction side psychology, science, history and philosophy.

Movies: Fight Club, Sin City, LOTR trilogy, Watchmen, X-Men, I'm sure there are others, I am a big movie buff. As long as it's not a flick about two gay cowboys making man-love, I can probably watch it.

TV: Fringe, Dexter, BSG, TSCC, Rome, The Tudors, Being Human, Mythbusters, Ghost Hunters, The Tudors, South Park

Music: Alternative & Classic Rock; Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, Tool, Audioslave, Disturbed, Nine Inch Nails, CCR, Hurt, the list is endless...

Food: Cuban, Italian, Chinese, Sushi, Mexican... If it's mostly dead, I'll eat it-- if it's not, I'll kill it, then eat it. Or maybe eat it then kill it... I dunno!

My daughter
My wheels
Tivo
Computer
iPod
Gym

My laundry. It's always on my mind...even when I'm sleeping. Nightmares. About laundry. Yeah. Creepy stuff.

Converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Or hanging out with friends and family. We can convert greater quantities of oxygen in groups after all.

I don't follow any sport ending in the word "ball". Although I like going to "ball" games ocassionally, I can't handle watching it on TV.

In fact, I'd rather have a living snake shoved up my ass to tell you the truth. Only sport I follow is UFC and boxing.

Although, if they ever did bring back Roman gladiator matches in a colosseum, I'd be all over that shit! Especially if they threw in some of our politicians into the fray on occasion.

If you have a sense of humor and aren't dumb as a post. I know, that's a lot to ask... but try as I might, it's hard for me to lower the bar.