I'm intelligent, literate and open-minded. I enjoy learning new things. I'm honest, polite and respectful, both to my mother and anyone else I meet. Life has shown me that I can be quite good in a crisis. I'm employed, a homeowner and rooted firmly in the suburban middle class. I can cook (occasionally) and do my own laundry. I consider myself house-broken.

I got my Bachelor's degree in Social Work, so I'm pretty good at listening. But then I realized I could support my family better as a computer geek, so I've been trading on my nerd skillz instead of my education. (Though, oddly, I've found the listening skills are pretty useful when it comes to dealing with users who have difficult and frustrating problems.)

I'm the kind of guy who still holds doors for women, not because you can't do it yourself but because you shouldn't have to. I like to make people laugh, even if it's at my own expense. Trustworthy, reliable, affectionate, caring -- I like to think all of these apply. I'd rather listen and learn more about you than talk about myself.

I'm a big UNC basketball fan -- but I won't hold it against you if you root for Wake or State. Well, not much, anyways. (Dook fans get no such mercy.) I'm happy staying in or going out. I think weekends were made for sleeping in, but occasionally I might surprise you with breakfast in bed. I prefer cold weather to hot -- don't ask me why I'm living in North Carolina, because I prefer Alaska, where I grew up. I wish grunge and flannel were still in vogue. I own cats but also like dogs -- most of them, anyways.

I've always classified nerds, dorks and geeks as such: Nerds are bookish-smart, dorks are socially inept, geeks are interested in hobbies which are generally less acceptable to the mainstream crowd. Based on those definitions, I'm definitely a nerd, was once a dork but am no longer, and am wholeheartedly a geek. I'll read but don't collect comics, I play videogames with my spare time (less now than in the past), and I still remember fondly my days at a gaming table.

I'm going to add an addendum here. I've been in a relationship that was at times bad and at times good, but was never going to be great. I've had a great relationship before and I'm not willing to compromise anymore. It's not good enough just to be good enough. I deserve true happiness and someday I'm going to find it again. Until then, I'll be happy just to experience each day and remember to enjoy the little things along the way.

Working, trying to raise my sons right, and learning to find a new equilibrium. I'm looking forward to a five-week trip to Zurich, Switzerland soon.

Mostly, I'm just trying to live in the moment and enjoy myself, while planning for the future and trying to overcome mistakes I made in the past.

I'm really good at listening. Cuddling. Making people smile. I'm reasonably good at trivia games and pulling random bits of information out of thin air. Making cats purr. Seeing the big picture, even if I occasionally have trouble keeping track of all the details. Wearing my heart on my sleeve.

I've been told I give good massages and backrubs, and that I'm good at certain other things. (But you'd have to judge for yourself.)

I don't know. My freakishly large head? The reflection off my bald spot?

Work in progress...

Movies: Say Anything, Grosse Pointe Blank, Princess Bride, Army of Darkness, Akira, Princess Mononoke, Love Actually, Singles, In Good Company, A Fish Called Wanda, Serenity, Spirited Away, Brazil, Adventures of Baron Munchausen, Sky High, Monty Python's (insert movie here), You Kill Me, Better Off Dead, Spaceballs, Watchmen, The Dark Knight, The Incredibles, Wall-E, Once, Almost Famous, more...

TV: Heroes, The Amazing Race, The Office, Pushing Daisies, One Tree Hill, Adult Swim, NCIS, How I Met Your Mother, Danger Mouse, Firefly, Buffy The Vampire Slayer, X-Files, Millenium, Star Trek, Leverage, Burn Notice, Dollhouse, Futurama, more...

Music: Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Nirvana, basically grunge as a genre, Sting, Beastie Boys, The Police, Michael Penn, Kristin Hersh, PJ Harvey, Foo Fighters, Led Zeppelin, Live, The Cure, Satchel, Brad, Faith No More, U2, Evanescence, Tears for Fears, Peter Gabriel, Genesis, The Chieftains, REM, Temple of the Dog, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Billy McLaughlin, Mother Love Bone, Clannad, Dillon Fence, Audioslave, Gorillaz, Sarah McLachlan, James Taylor, Matchbox 20, Tool, Lupe Fiasco, Allan Parsons Project, Bush, Cake, Counting Crows, Dave Matthews Band, Depeche Mode, Garbage, Frente, Jewel, Jimi Hendrix, Kanye West, Linkin Park, Massive Attack, Nickelback, Paul Simon, Semisonic, Tom Petty, Toad The Wet Sprocket, The Commitments, Fall Out Boy, Kate Nash, John Legend, Will Smith, old 80's music (for nostalgia), 90's alternative

the interwebs (Thanks, Al Gore!), a sense of humor, cats, private (or public) displays of affection, my sons, and women -- glorious, ineffable, inscrutable and a wonderful complement to men. But only one at a time, please.

whatever hobby or book I'm involved with at the moment. Things I can do to make my loved ones unexpectedly happy. Travelling to Switzerland again.

hanging out with my sons or catching up with friends and family. Sometimes hosting a friendly poker game. Watching a Carolina basketball game if there's one on!

It's hardly private if I admit it here, now is it?

you want to strike up a conversation with someone who -- despite all evidence to the contrary in this profile -- is actually a pretty funny and interesting guy, and could just be the best thing that ever happened to you.