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akaMrFrench

60 M Northampton, PA

My Details

Last Online
Apr 13
Orientation
Straight
Ethnicity
White
Height
5′ 11″ (1.80m)
Body Type
A little extra
Diet
Strictly other
Smokes
No
Drinks
Desperately
Drugs
Never
Religion
Atheism, and laughing about it
Sign
Libra, but it doesn’t matter
Education
Graduated from university
Job
Sales / Marketing
Income
$40,000–$50,000
Relationship Status
Single
Relationship Type
Offspring
Has kids, but doesn’t want more
Pets
Has cats
Speaks
English (Fluently)

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My self-summary
I'm your atypical "older" guy - zero interest in pro sports, cigars, scotch, golf, automotive chrome, La-Z-Boy furniture, gold chains, wearing socks with sandals, or owning and driving a Buick that seats fourteen while wearing a dopey hat and leaving the blinker on for at least ten miles.

Yeah, I may be older... but I'm not that flavor of "old."

Vital stats:
> Wife 1.0: after eight years of on/off relationships, we finally married when we were 34... and I was widowed by age 35. I married her knowing she was ill; we had high hopes she'd beat the disease. However, the disease had other plans and took her out before we made it to one anniversary. That experience reshaped me in more ways than I can enumerate here.
> Wife 2.0: after 14+ years of relationship and 11+ years of marriage, she moved out (I was 49); it's a long story as to why, featuring two people who grew distant and the appearance in her life of Mr. Catalyst. I played single dad to our school-age sons for the next two years; at that point, we moved them to her place, primarily for a better educational experience. We divorced four years later (her idea and expense). Now, we're better friends than we were a decade ago, respect each other, and can even joke about our shared past.
> Those two sons turned 18 and 20 last year. Amazing young men, and I love 'em to bits. Note: having two sons that age means I don't have much cash to play with, let alone survive (child support, health coverage for them plus me, and now both are in college. By next spring, I may be negotiating with the cat for which one of us gets the first bite of her food).

Minor Update: this self-summary used to state I don't own a car. No longer true; once again I'm part of the world of individually mobile citizens with oppressive car costs.
What I’m doing with my life
"Doing with my life" - well, currently, I'm "working to live" in a soul-sucking corporate cube farm. In a parallel universe, I'm trying to figure out how to make a living off writing instead; my inner artist would rather write, make music, take photos or do all of that and more.
I’m really good at
writing, music appreciation, breathing, low-budget photography, witty repartee, petting my cat (apparently; she seems to like it), lovemaking, sarcasm, sensuality, empathy, heavy petting, open-heartedness, mild bondage, cursing at my computer, surprises, and wishing I was either taller or thinner. And once I own a guitar again, not long after I'll be "good at" that, too.
The first things people usually notice about me
Probably, it's my longish hair. I can sense others' reactions: "I mean, WTF is a with that guy, having long hair like that as his age?! How inappropriate! Obviously, he's in denial, refuses to act his age, and willfully exploits the fact that Nature's been kind and pretty much left his full head of hair the hell alone (including leaving the color mostly intact). The nerve of some people!!" I do cut it now and again (see photos), usually when I grow tired of coping with the mane. However, I don't do it often; blame my aging-hippie chromosome that prefers long hair, and the fact that I still can get away with it.

Might also be my full beard. Years ago, someone asked me if my then-baby son had my chin; I replied, "it's possible, I haven't seen the damn thing since 1978"... which was the first time I'd shaved off all my facial hair since it deigned to show up on my boyish teenage face. It also was the LAST time I shaved off all my facial hair, because after two weeks of daily bouts with a razor I decided shaving one's face was almost as ridiculous as the electric can opener.

Oh... and maybe my blue eyes. Allegedly, they twinkle when I'm putting you on.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Favorite music: impossible to sum up in a text box this size. Broad swaths: rock (progressive, especially), jazz (NOT SMOOTH JAZZ; it's suitable only for elevators and public toilets), instrumental bluegrass, classical (though not keen on 19th century romantics or most opera), some "new age" (though let's not get too navel-gazey, 'k?), and maybe even some pop that may surprise you. And there's more. Personal "A-list": Peter Gabriel, Steven Wilson (w/ or w/o Porcupine Tree), Ralph Towner (w/ or w/o Oregon), King Crimson, Michael Hedges, Mark Isham.

Favorite foods: non-dull - Indian, Thai, Vietnamese, Ethiopian, Spanish, Mexican, Indonesian, Turkish, Japanese, Chinese, Cajun, Greek, and occasionally even some "nouvelle American" will do. Diner fare is suitable only when everything else is closed; fast food is suitable only when everything else is closed and I'm desperate.

Favorite books: ones with paper. Shocker: I like to write, but I'm not much of a book reader. Apologies, if necessary.

Favorite movies: ones that challenge me to think or inspire me to laugh (or both). I'll watch most anything if asked, though not explicit horror (I'll take macabre over mayhem any day) or really awful animation. And I am indeed a guy, but action movies don't get me hard.

Favorite "shows": dear OkCupidistas, do you mean TV? If so, here's the deal: I own a television, and it's connected only to my BluRay & stereo. I don't have cable; if there's something I'd really like to watch, I'll go try to find it online. Only regular pattern: I download and watch Rachel Maddow. When I did bother with cable, former faves included The Daily Show, Colbert, Six Feet Under, Monk, and I can get sucked into a show or series if I found it interesting... which excludes all reality TV, 99% of sitcoms, and prison shows.

... but if shows means "theatrical performances," I like most plays (everything from Shakespeare to absurdist), some musicals (mostly Sondheim works), and many types of dance, particularly modern dance.
The six things I could never do without
(I'm omitting obvious answers like oxygen and the rest of the Periodic Table of Elements, nutrients, water, bathrooms, and gravity).

In no order whatsoever:
Love.
Music.
Expressive language (written or spoken).
Coffee.
Sensuality.
Light and shadow.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
women, sensuality, music, social and political outrage, light, color, sex, the world's troubles, words, ideas, what I'll be writing next about life and our funny human race, and just what on earth my downstairs neighbor is cooking that smells like boiled gym shorts and when the hell is she leaving so I can crank up the music and air out the joint.
On a typical Friday night I am
pleased that I survived another week with minimal loss of soul at the cube farm. I have no "Friday night ritual," aside from feed the cat, make some iced coffee or pour a glass of port (or both, though not simultaneously), and exercise my mind and wit (usually via oddball comments on Facebook, or just writing in general).
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
Well, there was the time that I... um... er... no, I'd better not. Okay, how about the night that I... um... no, never mind. It's inexplicable. What was I thinking??

But once we're better acquainted, I might tell you. Or demonstrate. Or ask if you'd be willing to... er... no, I'd better not.

...just yet.
I’m looking for
  • Girls who like guys
  • Ages 40–65
  • Near me
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex
You should message me if
...you'd like to spend some time around someone who's genuine, honest, friendly, libidinous, sensitive, eccentric, and unique. Bonus points if you want to meet. Additional bonus points if you bring handcuffs and not a lot of baggage.