Patient ID: Mr. L
History and Physical Conducted by: Himself (still valid)
History and Physical Conducted (updated) on: 10/19/13
Chief Complaint: "heartache"
Patient is a 27 year-old Asian male with no significant past medical history who presents today with "pain in the heart area due to prolonged absence of love". On a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being mild irritation and 10 being severe pain, he rates himself a colossal 22. His sharp pain does radiate to other areas of the body; all over to be specific. His discomfort is aggravated by your lack of response to his message(s) and plain disregard. He has not taken any medications to relieve the pain, which gets worse when the night gets extra dark and cold. He denies having any neurological symptoms while openly acknowledges of sporadic fevers, chills, back pains, and loose stool as associated signs of chief complaint. Overall, Mr. L aspires to be better in many aspects of his life, although he is known for his tendency to make random and spontaneous travel decisions and his addiction to food.
I'm spontaneous, silly, serious, motivated, romantic, positive, Asian, caffeinated, small eyes, musical, passionate, easy-going, and nonjudgmental. Favorite athlete: Chad Ochocinco, and Rick Ross should not be allowed to ride in any sports cars. I don't tolerate humidity well, and prefer Coke over Pepsi, diet. I love to travel and go on random road trips and have been playing the piano for over 20 years. I enjoy my cookies soft, and my steak bloody as hell. School is a bia bia and I'm always sleep-deprived. I like a lot of pulp in my orange juice, and enjoy driving on the highway at night with classical/jazz music in the background. Sometimes I rap to 2CHAINZ as well. I am looking for someone with whom I can listen to Frank Sinatra over wine, and twerk to Gucci Mane over Patron. #FreeBoosie
I want to keep things casual and drama-free. Uptight, stuck-up and high-maintenance girls need not apply. I don't live by the rules, I bend them and create my own. Communication is KEY. I think hope and options are the two most luxurious things we could ever have. So, if you lose anything, don't lose hope. Life is often very tough, things do happen, but we have to be strong and be absorbent of lessons and positivity. I believe in creating opportunities and taking chances, and I despise limits. Other than that, I like long walks on the beach - sunset, golden retrievers, crisp ocean breeze, white linen pants... Fabio type of shit. I love cooking and suede loafers.
Oh yea, I think girls who demand people to write more than "Hi, Hello, How are you" in their first messages are being somewhat if not totally unreasonable and inconsiderate, especially if you didn't write anything in your profile that makes you look or sound remotely interesting. "I like to have fun and I like to work out, now get on yo knees and woo me!" That ain't gon work, boo boo.