Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a queer fat femme. If you aren't into ethical nonmonogamy, body
positive folks, and safer sex, we're not going to get along too
well. I date people of all genders.
I'm still reeling a little from breaking up with a super long term
serious partner, so I'm not trying to develop anything really
intense! I'll do me, you do you, and maybe we shoot each other some
moral support to do the things we want to get done.
In short, right now I am mainly looking for something that is
easiest to understand as friends with benefits: lots of fun, lots
of friendship, some shared meals. If I really fall for you, you can
have my Thursday night for as long as you want it, but no
co-parenting or cohabitation is on the menu here.
I'm white if that matters to you, but I removed ethnicity in my
profile because okcupid was recommending an avalanche of white
folks in my searches, which is not what I would expect given my
geography. Magically my search results and visitors got more
diverse when I did that. Not cool, okc.
for searchability, let's toss in... BBW
This is a work in progress, one bit at a time, as I have time...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
number crunching, teaching, laughing, reading technical statistical
things, driving, pondering.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Meeting people where they are
Being present one on one
Collaborating on small pleasures
Sucking the marrow out of life
Keeping my drama (which is minimal anyway) out of yours
Laughing instead of crying
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I love narrative, humor, and/or insight in my books and film,
whether it's a scholarly thing or something fictional. I dig at
least some artists from all genres of music (yes ALL, including rap
and country and classical/opera). I like variety and do not believe
our shared (or disparate) tastes will make or break anything.
Expose me to something new or delight me with an unexpected shared
love for something obscure, it's all good!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How people make meaning
How to meet my (and maybe your) needs for basic survival as well as
joy (bread AND roses)
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Doing the stuff in the 'I'm good at' section. Even if I'm working,
I'm at least laughing about it.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am hopeless at lying, so only ask me things you want a real
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like fat girls and casual-ish sex and have some experience with
You like an ongoing friends with benefits model (over a one night
stand or super romantic relationship ideals). See this article for
why I don't believe "no strings attached" sex is really possible:
You want to meet in person, I'm very much a physical person and I'm
not interested in online flirting, picture exchanges, camming,
Note that I get a lot of messages and if you are a <70% match,
bring your message game or it will get literally get lost with the
other not-high-match messages because they go to a filtered place I
clean out about once a week. You need to say something interesting
to catch my eye when I'm doing that cleanout, but I've definitely
met and enjoyed knowing folks whose first message ended up there.
Who are you looking for?
This helps us know who to show you on OkCupid.