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40 Philadelphia, PA Woman


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I’m looking for

  • Everyone
  • Ages 25–55
  • Located anywhere
  • For new friends, long-term dating, short-term dating, casual sex

My details

Last online
Online now!
Bisexual, Pansexual, Queer
Relationship Type
Strictly non-monogamous
5' 6" (1.68m)
Body Type
Full figured
Doesn’t want kids
My self-summary
Write a little about yourself. Just a paragraph will do.
I'm a queer fat femme. If you aren't into ethical nonmonogamy, body positive folks, and safer sex, we're not going to get along too well. I date people of all genders.

I'm still reeling a little from breaking up with a super long term serious partner, so I'm not trying to develop anything really intense! I'll do me, you do you, and maybe we shoot each other some moral support to do the things we want to get done.

In short, right now I am mainly looking for something that is easiest to understand as friends with benefits: lots of fun, lots of friendship, some shared meals. If I really fall for you, you can have my Thursday night for as long as you want it, but no co-parenting or cohabitation is on the menu here.

I'm white if that matters to you, but I removed ethnicity in my profile because okcupid was recommending an avalanche of white folks in my searches, which is not what I would expect given my geography. Magically my search results and visitors got more diverse when I did that. Not cool, okc.

for searchability, let's toss in... BBW

This is a work in progress, one bit at a time, as I have time...
What I’m doing with my life
Don’t overthink this one; tell us what you’re doing day-to-day.
number crunching, teaching, laughing, reading technical statistical things, driving, pondering.
I’m really good at
Go on, brag a little (or a lot). We won’t judge.
Meeting people where they are
Being present one on one
Collaborating on small pleasures
Sucking the marrow out of life
Keeping my drama (which is minimal anyway) out of yours
Laughing instead of crying
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Help your potential matches find common interests.
I love narrative, humor, and/or insight in my books and film, whether it's a scholarly thing or something fictional. I dig at least some artists from all genres of music (yes ALL, including rap and country and classical/opera). I like variety and do not believe our shared (or disparate) tastes will make or break anything. Expose me to something new or delight me with an unexpected shared love for something obscure, it's all good!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Global warming, lunch, or your next vacation… it’s all fair game.
How people make meaning
How to meet my (and maybe your) needs for basic survival as well as joy (bread AND roses)
Academic crap
On a typical Friday night I am
Netflix and takeout, or getting your party on — how do you let loose?
Doing the stuff in the 'I'm good at' section. Even if I'm working, I'm at least laughing about it.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I’m an empty essay… fill me out!
I am hopeless at lying, so only ask me things you want a real answer for.
You should message me if
Offer a few tips to help matches win you over.
You like fat girls and casual-ish sex and have some experience with ethical nonmonogamy.

You like an ongoing friends with benefits model (over a one night stand or super romantic relationship ideals). See this article for why I don't believe "no strings attached" sex is really possible:

You want to meet in person, I'm very much a physical person and I'm not interested in online flirting, picture exchanges, camming, etc.

Note that I get a lot of messages and if you are a <70% match, bring your message game or it will get literally get lost with the other not-high-match messages because they go to a filtered place I clean out about once a week. You need to say something interesting to catch my eye when I'm doing that cleanout, but I've definitely met and enjoyed knowing folks whose first message ended up there.