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30 F San Mateo, CA

My Details

Last Online
Apr 9
Middle Eastern
5′ 5″ (1.66m)
Body Type
Relationship Status
Relationship Type
Doesn’t have kids
English (Fluently), Farsi (Okay), Spanish (Poorly)

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My self-summary
I wrote most of this a long time ago.
It's mostly true. I'm funny; I like my job; I love movies and sports.
I'm a catch. Get on board.

If you message me asking how I'm doing, I won't respond.
Read through the profile.
What I’m doing with my life
Judging your instagram photos.
Going to museums
I’m really good at
I'm just going to change this section to
About me:

-I enjoy painting
-I enjoy bullet points
-I'm too sarcastic for my own good
-Brunch is the best time of day
-I've been told I'm a good listener
-I'm an excellent secret keeper
-I like hiking or most outdoorsy things
-I like photography (but who doesn't these days?)
-I find the 'missed connections' portion of Craigs List to be mostly endearing.
-No one likes to text me anymore bc I'm a spelling & grammar nazi
-I go to NYC once a year (and to my favorite doughnut spot)
-Mildly addicted to Pinterest
-I'm impressed if you have great style (its very rare these days, and especially rare on the west coast)
-I open far too many tabs on my browser
-I'm rarely late for anything

Artist: Salvador Dali, Vladmir Kush, Vincent Van Gogh
Photographer: David Hockney
Street artist: Banksy

About you:
-Being funny goes a long way
-I like a guy that is witty and sarcastic (that doesn't mean condescending, so please cut that shit out)
-Punctuality is very attractive.
(It shows that you actually care about someone time)
-There's a thin line between confidence and arrogance. (don't be the latter)
-Knowing what 'the latter' means, that's also attractive
-Actually having time to hang out
(If you want to make the effort, you will- no matter how busy you are- simple as that)

-What I'm not looking for:
1. A sugar daddy
2. A submissive/dominant relationship
3. A threesome
4. Someone to preach to me about how good dub step is
(I mention these things because I have been approached with them and many more- I respectfully decline)
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Harry Potter series (stop rolling your eyes), The Alchemist, The Kite Runner, Funny in Farsi, Hunger Games, Is everyone hanging out with me (and other concerns), Bossypants

Movies: Avengers, X-men, really any Marvel series, Bridesmaids, Shawshank Redemption, The Fall, Weekend at Bernie's II, Anchorman, Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, Back to the Future, Mostly anything Sci-Fi, nerdy, 80's or an impressive combinations of all of the above.

Shows: 30 Rock, Parks & Rec, Arrested Development, Vampire Diaries, Happy Endings, New Girl, White Collar, Game of Thrones

Music: Mostly hip hop, but almost anything but Dubstep. Dubstep makes me wanna claw my own eyes out.

Food: yes please!!!
I was vegetarian for 6 years, but no longer!
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Why Johnny never swept the leg.
And where can I pre-order my hoverboard.
The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I signed up for this website
I’m looking for
  • Straight guys only
  • Ages 30–36
  • Near me
  • For long-term dating
You should message me if
-You're witty and hilarious.
-You know the differences between:
(your & you're) (their, there, & they're)