I once had an awkward moment, just to see how it felt.
My beard alone has experienced more than a lesser man’s entire body.
When it is raining, it is because i am thinking of something sad.
My shirts never wrinkle.
I am left-handed and right-handed.
If I were to mail a letter without postage, it would still get there.
The police often question me just because they find me interesting.
My blood smells like cologne.
On every continent in the world, there is a sandwich named after me.
My hands feel like rich brown suede.
Cuba imports cigars from Me.
Mosquitos refuse to bite me purely out of respect.
In museums, I am allowed to touch the art.
My business business card simply says “I’ll call you.”
I have won the lifetime achievement award, twice.
I bowl overhand.
I am fluent in all languages, including three that I only speaks.
I tip an astonishing 100%.